daisy1

Hello everyone - my last post here was positive, I had found a therapist who specialises is addiction, and we had drawn up a comprehensive plan together, I felt for the first time I had hope!
Then disaster struck, I sustained a serious neck injury which left me in agony and semi-paralysis. I went to a spinal unit and now have bolts in my neck, lol. I'm a lot better physically but still off work.
I had managed to taper my tramadol use to only one in the morning and one at night - alcohol was the next thing to tackle after I quit the tramadol.
I was in so much pain I was washing the tramadol plus liquid morphine down with alcohol - not to abuse it (for the first time ever) but to get some relief - I'm telling the truth it was such terrible pain, I didn't care if I overdosed at times.

Now I'm recovering, and I'm drinking still, and taking more painkillers than I have ever taken. I have a very good job, I'm returning in three weeks and have to sober up in that time. Unfortunately I can't afford to pay for the therapist now my pay is down, due to my sick absence.
Not asking for sympathy, just want to share with you all how I'm going to have to really start again!

During my hospital stay, I vowed to care for my body and never abuse it again, as experiencing total helplessness and pain was terrible. But no, as soon as I was home I opened the wine again - and now everyone feels sorry for me and the doctors will give me whatever I ask for, due to the serious nature of my injury.

So, here I go again, arghhhh

HeadLump

Welcome, Daisy, from a very near neighbour!

I'm so sorry to hear about your injury, but it sounds as though you've battled really hard to be fit enough to return to work.

Putting the wine down now will make a huge difference to how you feel physically. More importantly, it will help you psychologically too.

But you know that!

Rooting for you as you re-start your life

IOAA2

Hi.
I’m sorry for your painful experience. I’m not making medical advice however mixing alcohol with other drugs is a huge dangerous situation. Hopefully you have been honest with your doctor about this situation your in and your alcoholic tendencies. JMO

BE WELL

Dee74

Hi and welcome back Daisy

sounds like you really need a dr's input here when you have pain issues and addiction intertwining.

Do your Drs know about whats been happening?

D

JT0626

daisy1,

Thank you for being so honest & sharing your struggles with us. I am concerned about you mixing pain killers with alcohol, please be careful with that. I want to see you succeed in your recovery both physically & with your addiction. Keep posting & make sure you come back. Hang in there & always remember that you are worth it. ((hugs))

daisy1

I approached my doctor twice in the past, and he was most unhelpful, he shrugged and said you just have to stop. He was right I suppose, but I feel reluctant to confess what I'm doing now. Besides, he won't give me the pain relief then, and I won't be able to do the job I do without adequate pain relief - not initially anyway.
I also have a wonderful new boyfriend and I'm hiding it all from him. I'm so annoyed, I had taken steps to really resolve this, and then my neck got damaged. Yes I'm angry and feeling very sorry for myself!

OklaBH

i could see a doctor saying that. "then just do it" geez...chronic pain is terrible. you would do anything for a break from it. i know you are probably sick of seeing doctors..but on your next visit it wouldnt hurt to be ADAMANT about what is going on. ask for a refferal to an addiction specialist.

daisy1

That is a good idea. I'm feeling more positive, I'm reading Allan Carr again, as it gave me three months sober before. I will see my doctor tomorrow, he is being very sheepish anyway, as he misdiagnosed my neck which has left me with permanent spinal cord damage. My dominant hand has a weakness and things are difficult.
The addict in me wants to use this as an excuse to carry on getting off my head with pills and booze but I'm not going to let it! My kids, my dogs and my horse all need me.
Thanks for listening :-) xxx

anattaboy

What D said. Maybe a different Dr. that will address the alcohol? Inpatient for detox and pain management? Mixing the two is volatile.