mistyeye

Last night my ABF showed up. All i did was cry in his arms. I was weak. I missed him so much. He said he was sorry and he was trying to get a job because we have nothing. He said he failed me and our baby. I couldnt yell I couldnt tell him anything except that was cruel of him to leave us without a word. I told him to come inside but he wouldnt. He was going to stay at his friends and go to work and come home today. I prayed to God to bring my real bf back. Well maybe this was Him giving me closure. I dont think he is coming home. He doesnt want to eat humble pie. He said he needed to find us our own place. I am so confused. Part of me wants him to be true to his word and come home. The part of me cant take the feeling that he will leave again and I will have this pain all over again. I finished packing his stuff and he shows up. If he would just ask for help. I have been up since four. Sick to my stomach. I am just so messed up. Thank you all for listening me gripe. I just need to vent and get support because this is hard especially if I had to do it alone.

Ann

Take a deep breath and take care of yourself today. Losing your balance won't help him find his.

If you can find a meeting near you, it may help you to go and begin your own recovery. It will help you on days like this.

Hugs

atalose

We get all caught up in their words desperately wanting to hold onto and believe every single one of them so that we don't have to fully deal with our hurt and pain that a relationship is over or should come to an end.

There are many stages of grief and we get caught up in denial and bargaining, holding onto what they say but to afraid to actually open eyes to what we see.

If he wanted to change his life so that he could offer you a better one with him being a better partner and father, he'd be moving heaven and earth and making his sobriety number one in his life so that eventually obtaining a job, paying bills and beings a responsible adult could be possible. But it sounds like his focus is on just a job, money to feed his habit not his child.

It's very hard letting go, giving up the dreams we created that included them but in order for us to survive in this life sometimes we have to let go of the people pulling us under.

Txhelp

Take care of yourself. Let him take care of himself.

It's so difficult to love an addict. Hugs to you....

chicory

Mistyeye I am so sorry. It is so painful, seeing the truth.... but that is where the only hope is, in living with and acting on the truth.

my thoughts and prayers are with you.