carmen303

If my XAB decided to finally stop drinking . How long does it take for the alcoholic insanity symptoms to leave his body, so that I could know the real/balanced side of him?

I was reading through the sticky "classics" and was drawn to a lot. One had to do with texting. I went through the same stuff with my ABF; the jeckll/hyde thing. He'd send angry text to me one day; I'd get upset and cry; then he'd send me sweet text like nothing had happened a few days later. this cycle became the norm.

After this last anger thing, I ignored his last text. I just don't want him to upset me. He might have said something sweet, but then the cycle will begin again.

I just wonder how long it takes to normalize once the alcoholic gets help and stops. Thanks.

least

I started to feel normal again, like a human being, at around six months. I was feeling better by three months, but it took a bit longer for me to feel like a human being of worth again.

I had help from an addiction counselor and this site.

legna

Carmen,

It depends. Alcohol is a symptom of alcoholism. There is a saying in AA that if you sober up a horse thief you get a sober horse thief. In other words, if all that is done is to remove the alcohol, then the insanity never goes away.

There's another saying: Twenty miles in, twenty miles out. How long it will take is going to depend on how deep seeded his issues are and how much effort he puts into recovering.

carmen303

Hi Least, thanks for your response. Did your moods stabilized? Did your behaviors change? thanks.

Eddiebuckle

It takes upwards of 18 months for the central nervous system to recover to whatever it can from long term alcohol abuse. It's not a straight line thing (ie 1/3 in 6 months, 2/3 in 12, etc.) but more like 60% in 6 months 90% in 12 months, and 100% in 18.

But that's just the brain and central nervous system. The real work and progress entails self awareness and willingness to objectively look at who you are and what your shortcomings may be. This is where AA's tradition of sponsorship and the 12 steps are invaluable. That's the working for transcendence, not merely waiting for the physical stuff to heal.

AnvilheadII

you started your statement with IF....which means he isn't even in the neighborhood of trying to quit. you are future tripping on a possible outcome that doesn't yet have any foundation in reality. that sets up a hopeful fantasy that can keep YOU stuck for a long long time......

recovery looks like recovery. people who are willing to do WHATEVER it takes to make wholesale universal changes to their lives so that they can live happy joyous and free.

the real him is the Jekyll and Hyde....it's a matter of how he chooses to face life. we all have a demon inside of us.....we all have the POTENTIAL to be horrid AND magnificent. it's which beast we choose to feed that makes the difference.

NYCDoglvr

I've been sober 23 years and must say recovery is a long, slow process. In AA's Big Book Bill Wilson says "drinking is but a symptom" of a much bigger problem. Is he in therapy and going to AA? Anyway, why are you still communicating with him? If you have fantasies he'll change because he simply stopped drinking, let them go. He is who he is.

LeeJane

I quit about four years ago, I would say it was about six months ago I felt like I was a proper fully functioning adult. I had lots of work to do on my myself and my attitude to life once I had removed the alcohol.

I am thankful I did.