Alphabet

Hi all,
Is it just me or has mercury retrograde messed people up royally this year?
I'm no exception, and I know that's no excuse.

I had a month of sobriety and just felt... empty. I was sober and healthier, but lost. Nothing felt right. I know I'm echoing previous posts of mine in saying this again, and I certainly do NOT want to derail anyone's path to sobriety because I know in my heart that I can and will be happier one day without this poison in my system. It's just hard to see the forest through the trees right now. My boyfriend has been going through a complete meltdown over my relapse and it's breaking my heart to see. My father is at his wits end and frankly, I feel he's already given up on me ever getting better, though he's letting me stay with him for a few nights to get away from an environment where drinking still occurs.

I'm afraid and feeling hopeless and helpless. I don't want to be another statistic when I could be a success story. Not only for myself, but for others.

Thanks as always for reading. Take care all <3

PurpleKnight

You can turn this around Alphabet!!

Did alcohol change that lost and empty feeling? for me it never did, it was a fairytale and a myth that alcohol would add something to my life!!

You deserve that better life!! But you gotta have to want it and make the necessary changes to achieve it!!

FreeOwl

so.... are you committed to sobriety yet?? Fully ready to do this?

Did you have a program?

Was your sobriety active sobriety?

It's not a cakewalk of rainbows and sunshine rose farts overnight..... you'll feel weird. You'll feel off. You'll FEEL.

So you'll need support and you'll need change and you'll need action. You'll need a plan and a program.

And it is all worth it.

If you want what life can offer (which is good....) - then there is a way.

Alphabet

You know what? It never has and I doubt it ever will. Time to sever that toxic tie, I think.

least

It's in your hands whether you end up as a statistic or success story. Make the right choice.

SoberLeigh

Sorry to hear that you have been struggling, Alphabet.

Do you have any face to face support?

Alphabet

Yes and no, Leigh. As lucky as I am to live in Massachusetts where health insurance is pretty good in comparison to the rest of the country, the area where I live still makes it difficult to set up a sound net of help. That'll be one of the first calls I make tomorrow, though.

I'm also back in an area where I can get to meetings far easier, now. I'm more than happy to take that good with the bad.

SoberLeigh

Keep moving forward, Alphabet; meetings sound like a good plan. Never, ever give up. The journey isn't always smooth and it may take some time before you fully see the benefits of sobriety but I promise it is worth the effort. YOU are worth the effort, Alphabet.

Dee74

Hi alphabet

yeah I felt lost too - in my mind I was expecting 30 years of self abuse to be righted in 4 weeks. It just doesn't compute.

You need to accept that the instant gratification we come to expect from the bottle is unrealistic.

Most things worth anything take some time and effort, and a little discomfort....a little faith too, for those times when you don't seem to be getting anywhere.

You have to commit to the long haul. It took me three months just to not feel bad...it took several more months for me to deal with the empty feeling.

But it will get better.

are you with me?

D

IOAA2

Hi.
I started to feel better after I started to work on myself and change the person I was when drinking. AS Dee says this is not an instant cure disease we have and we did more than a little to screw up our mind and body over the years.

BE WELL

doggonecarl

As Dee said, 30 days is early in recovery. But even at a month, if you are miserable being sober, you might not be addressing the problem. Abstinence is not recovery. Quitting drinking is sobriety, but it doesn't seem to be solving your problem, which is living and loving the sober life.

Hope you find it.