mistyeye

My Abf just texted me from his sister phone and this is what he said"Hello first I want to tell you I love u and miss u so much. Please dont try and talk me into coming right now. I just want to tell u I miss my family. luv u. I may be going to work tomorrow. love you text u later." It has been three weeks since I have heard from him and that is what I get. If he misses us so much why wont he come home. I was having a good day started packing his stuff up and realizing I need to move on. Now I am in my room tears rolling down my cheek. This is so stupid. He left with no word. He abandoned me and our baby. Now I get nothing but a I miss and love you. This sucks. I want to scream. I want to punch something. I am so confused to what to feel right now. I am trying to understand but I cant seem to comprehend all this. Ugh All the hurt I was going through was starting to subside. Now its starting all over again. What do I do.?

zoso77

Misty, I will PM you when I get home.

BunnyNest

Oh wow. I cannot imagine your shock and pain right now.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in Alanon is that I don't have to react. I can act instead. You don't have to do anything right now except take care of you and that sweet baby. You can act later.

Do you have a local support system? Please reach out to them if you do.

djlook

There was a book out called "Feel the fear and do it anyway." Work through the fear by keeping on packing his things and know that his emotional blackmail is all he's got. That is so cruel and so sick. If you were starting to get better and had begun to move on and he popped up with that text and you're getting sick all over again, what do you think caused you to start getting sick again? He showed back up. He's not going to stop it either. You're going to have to stop letting him treat you that way. With his "I love you and I miss you" words he's just keeping it going. He wants to keep you hooked in case what he's doing doesn't work out.

PurpleWilder

Read as: "Just a quick text to make sure that you are still hooked without me having to change a damn thing about my life. Making sure you are paying attention cause I'm gonna need something from you soon...."

Blech.

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

Feel what you have to feel. Work through it how you need to. But as one of my old Alanon sponsors told me, "The more you talk, the less they think. Say nothing."

AnvilheadII

his text changes NOTHING. he's still GONE. and he wasn't even man enough to call, only to send an impersonal text.

no relationship issues should be conducted via text. nor should anything conveyed in a text be given much credence. he bailed three weeks ago....now, he's testing the waters to see if he still has enough control over you to keep you on the hook just in CASE he decides to come crawling back.

and he will....when he's run out of options.

you get to decide right here and right now how you will be treated. if you will ALLOW this type of behavior. if you are willing to accept crumbs.......

Hope7726

Typical addict. All talk, no action.

I'm sorry. You deserve better.