Arbor

It's true!

Nobody cares if you drink or not! Try it. You'll see. You'll hear about it all over these pages but it really is so true.

Briar

Woah there, that's exactly what I was thinking the last time I slipped. We do care. If you want to view our support as self-serving then fine, it is. Each one of us came here so we can get better, but we need each other to do so. A community helps people recover because we can't do it in a vacuum. In supporting and caring about others, we learn to do the same for ourselves. This is a strong, successful community because we care.

Perhaps you are referring to our swift forgiveness of a slip, but I think this is necessary because the guilt and shame can perpetuate drinking. We need to move past that.

This is seriously exactly what I was thinking a couple weeks ago right before I got drunk for a week straight. When I came out I realized I was wrong. Don't learn the hard way.

Charlie117926

I would disagree Arbor. This site is filled with people that support each other to quit drinking.

But at the end of the day it doesn't matter what other people think or not. Sobriety is up to you and me.

I come here for support and that is exactly what I get.

fastfocus

I used to think like that

until I really looked at the trail of devastation I leave behind me from taking that 1st drink

people do care

honestly they do

dave

ScottFromWI

We care. How can we help?

Nowsthetime

I understand it differently. I think what Arbor means is that if you're out in a place and you are not drinking for the most part people will not even notice or pressure you to drink. I have found this out as well but when I go out with friends and others and I just order a Coke they don't notice that I am not drinking. I guess this is just a different way to look at this post.

ANewDayNYC

I read it the same way, and I agree with the original poster. I had the same experience as nowsthetime - once I was at an event where I ordered a soda and everyone was drinking beer and I thought someone would "call me out" on it - but nobody cared at all. It was all in my head.

Soberwolf

This is what i thought

Fly N Buy

I care if I drink and so does my family. What's the point???????

fly

Charlie117926

If I mis-read your post Arbor. I apologize in advance. Thanks

Arbor

Oh boy! My bad. I MEANT to say that no one cares if you DONT drink! When around others who ARE drinking. Duh! iPhone typo. Sorry all!!! Meant this to inspire! Wish I could still edit that post. Moderators please?

Briar

Haha! Okay, got it. But hey, since I got so fired up at least you know I really do care about your recovery.

Arbor

Thanks Briar! Got 36 days in! Longest stretch ever. Aren't you in our October class?

Soberwolf

Lol Arbor high 5 bud

ZetaP38

I found it to be equally true that the ones who DO notice whether I drink alcohol or not - can sometimes be concerned that non-partakers will cause their degree of alcohol consumption to stand out.

Someone who can 'take it or leave it' doesn't bat an eye when someone declines a drink; no 'justification/excuse' necessary.

While some prefer to 'remind themselves' when offered a drink by saying, "No thanks, I'm an alcoholic," I find, generally, "No, thanks" to be sufficient.

However, if someone 'pushes', I may say that I'm a recovered alcoholic just because such 'pushing' may be an indicator of an alcohol problem for them that I've found the Solution for - and I want to let them know by that simple declaration that I'm available for 'probing' should they feel so inclined. :0)

In the beginning, I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic because of shame or fear of what others would think of me (read: that they would think as poorly of me as I did myself, at that time). Gratitude and Understanding eventually won over and now I simply trust the 'nudge from within' of when disclosure is appropriate and when it wouldn't serve a higher purpose. Sometimes it would just be an unnecessary 'show stopper' or 'tongue-wagger' prompt.


Love your enthusiasm and wonder! It's possible to keep it over many years....

Pamela
dos 8/98

Judas

I got your meaning, Arbour. And it's true - nobody really cares if you don't drink, with the exception of alcoholics. Misery loves company.

Briar

Yes I'm in the October class, I don't post on that thread much though. It moves so fast it's hard to follow. I do plan to get better about it, though. I had two weeks early in October, then lost a week, and now I'm back up to a week. Plugging along. I'm glad to hear you are doing so well!

Aellyce

I've personally never seen such a supportive and caring community in my life as SR, Arbor. We can use SR in many different ways, try different things and you'll figure out what works best for you. I've done all kinds of things: contribute to ongoing threads (like the monthly class), post on many threads and try to help others, start my own threads, develop interesting and sometimes intense interactions with specific people via PM... they all work for me. I am sure at least some people in your 3D world also would not want to see you suffer.

It's probably more how we use the support and connection. In the end of the day, support is support, conversation is conversation, and we have to do the work ourselves and care about our recovery. Congrats on 36 days, that's awesome

PurpleKnight

You're right on the caring about not drinking!!

When I was drinking the only person who cared about what was in my glass was me, when I got Sober, people didn't seem to notice that much!!

Fly N Buy

HAAAA! Well, in that case -

You are absolutely correct, in my experience. As long as they are getting theirs I have found no one cares or really notices. Of course your close mates might!

Anna can change the thread title and fix anything! PM her
Great job on 36 days!!! Nicely done - glad you here!!!

fly