The bullchip
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
The bullchip
I was at a meeting this week where a friend got a chip for a number of years
I'm still a little put off by it.... Because it was significantly more than three years - but three summers ago I was sitting on the beach with him watching him drink Budweiser....
Another person's inventory isn't my business, but it has continued to bother me.
I'm still a little put off by it.... Because it was significantly more than three years - but three summers ago I was sitting on the beach with him watching him drink Budweiser....
Another person's inventory isn't my business, but it has continued to bother me.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
my advice is to let it go - it's not our job to be Sober Cop...
take that position on, and you'll never stop.
I can just about manage to keep my side of the street clean - that's an achievement in itself
D
take that position on, and you'll never stop.
I can just about manage to keep my side of the street clean - that's an achievement in itself
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 819
I understand how that would bother you. The part that would bother me most is that he is not being truthful with himself by accepting the chip. If he would accept the chip without doing the sober time, is he still drinking and just hiding it? I find that there are people who talk the talk but don't walk the walk. Guess all you can do is hope he stays sober from here on out.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Dee74 
my advice is to let it go - it's not our job to be Sober Cop...
take that position on, and you'll never stop.
I can just about manage to keep my side of the street clean - that's an achievement in itself
D
take that position on, and you'll never stop.
I can just about manage to keep my side of the street clean - that's an achievement in itself
D
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
It wouldnt bother me if i was in attendance and i knew i wouldnt say a word only because i know in time that will come a cropper the truth always prevails and is why i wouldnt say anything
if you know your being honest and truthful thats all that matters
i giggled at the bullchip line lol
nearly 2 months ago when i turned 14 months somebody questioned me here they actually said are you sure ?
i laughed my bits off er yes im sure lol July 14 2013 then they said that went quick ? i was thinking what now i control time lol and i was laughing at the same time it didnt bother me as i knew the truth
i put my sobriety date on my account theres no way i can change that lol and i wouldnt want to
i want to experience every single day savor it
Dont let this bother you my friend your sober thats all that matters
if you know your being honest and truthful thats all that matters
i giggled at the bullchip line lol
nearly 2 months ago when i turned 14 months somebody questioned me here they actually said are you sure ?
i laughed my bits off er yes im sure lol July 14 2013 then they said that went quick ? i was thinking what now i control time lol and i was laughing at the same time it didnt bother me as i knew the truth
i put my sobriety date on my account theres no way i can change that lol and i wouldnt want to
i want to experience every single day savor it
Dont let this bother you my friend your sober thats all that matters
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Dee74
my advice is to let it go - it's not our job to be Sober Cop...
take that position on, and you'll never stop.
I can just about manage to keep my side of the street clean - that's an achievement in itself
D
take that position on, and you'll never stop.
I can just about manage to keep my side of the street clean - that's an achievement in itself
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Willingness Openmindedness Honesty
W. H.O. or is it W. O. H. or
other combinations.
These 3 lessons I had to learn, but in
my own order. It seems that, even tho
I was honest about my sobriety and not
drinking, I wasn't necessarily honest in
all my affairs.
I knew honesty was something important
I needed in my recovery in order to
achieve health, happiness in all areas
of my life, however, honesty was the
very last lesson I finally achieve many
yrs. later.
When I finally reach and achieved honesty
in all my affairs, it was then and only then
did I experience the freedom in recovery
that I had heard about for many yrs.
For me, I can't take other members inventory
when I have my own side of the street to keep
clean. Usually when I see faults in another then
I have to look at my own self. Many of those
faults are the same faults I have within myself.
Meaning, im far from being perfect and don't
wish to be, but rather progress to be better in
all areas of my life. I cant be judge and jury of
others because there is only One more Powerful
than I who has that job and it aint me.
Just sharing my own ESH and my honest thoughts.
W. H.O. or is it W. O. H. or
other combinations.
These 3 lessons I had to learn, but in
my own order. It seems that, even tho
I was honest about my sobriety and not
drinking, I wasn't necessarily honest in
all my affairs.
I knew honesty was something important
I needed in my recovery in order to
achieve health, happiness in all areas
of my life, however, honesty was the
very last lesson I finally achieve many
yrs. later.
When I finally reach and achieved honesty
in all my affairs, it was then and only then
did I experience the freedom in recovery
that I had heard about for many yrs.
For me, I can't take other members inventory
when I have my own side of the street to keep
clean. Usually when I see faults in another then
I have to look at my own self. Many of those
faults are the same faults I have within myself.
Meaning, im far from being perfect and don't
wish to be, but rather progress to be better in
all areas of my life. I cant be judge and jury of
others because there is only One more Powerful
than I who has that job and it aint me.
Just sharing my own ESH and my honest thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Yup, it would make me cranky too, although there's not really any meaningful response...your friend has balls o' steel to accept this chip on front of you though, as you are first hand witness to his/her dishonesty!
I was trying to figure out why one would lie about this (seeking the unknowable why of other's behavior...). The only thing I can figure to their benefit is that maybe their primary drug of choice was not alcohol, and they are using (note the word "using") AA as a system of marking abstinence from that drug. Or, they have their own "unique" beliefs about honoring their sobriety from the date of their initial attempt at it (the start of their "sober journey"), and don't count relapses in continuous sobriety as "starting over.". This isn't what the chip means for everyone else in the room though, so this is dishonorable within AA culture.
I know that I would stubbornly refuse to congratulate them or eat their cake...because honor is so important to me. Then I'd be the one who didn't get cake...
Congratulations to you on your real sobriety. The only power we have is in the choice of surrounding ourselves with people we trust & have faith in...
I was trying to figure out why one would lie about this (seeking the unknowable why of other's behavior...). The only thing I can figure to their benefit is that maybe their primary drug of choice was not alcohol, and they are using (note the word "using") AA as a system of marking abstinence from that drug. Or, they have their own "unique" beliefs about honoring their sobriety from the date of their initial attempt at it (the start of their "sober journey"), and don't count relapses in continuous sobriety as "starting over.". This isn't what the chip means for everyone else in the room though, so this is dishonorable within AA culture.
I know that I would stubbornly refuse to congratulate them or eat their cake...because honor is so important to me. Then I'd be the one who didn't get cake...
Congratulations to you on your real sobriety. The only power we have is in the choice of surrounding ourselves with people we trust & have faith in...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by heartcore
Yup, it would make me cranky too, although there's not really any meaningful response...your friend has balls o' steel to accept this chip on front of you though, as you are first hand witness to his/her dishonesty!
I was trying to figure out why one would lie about this (seeking the unknowable why of other's behavior...). The only thing I can figure to their benefit is that maybe their primary drug of choice was not alcohol, and they are using (note the word "using") AA as a system of marking abstinence from that drug. Or, they have their own "unique" beliefs about honoring their sobriety from the date of their initial attempt at it (the start of their "sober journey"), and don't count relapses in continuous sobriety as "starting over.". This isn't what the chip means for everyone else in the room though, so this is dishonorable within AA culture.
I know that I would stubbornly refuse to congratulate them or eat their cake...because honor is so important to me. Then I'd be the one who didn't get cake...
Congratulations to you on your real sobriety. The only power we have is in the choice of surrounding ourselves with people we trust & have faith in...
I was trying to figure out why one would lie about this (seeking the unknowable why of other's behavior...). The only thing I can figure to their benefit is that maybe their primary drug of choice was not alcohol, and they are using (note the word "using") AA as a system of marking abstinence from that drug. Or, they have their own "unique" beliefs about honoring their sobriety from the date of their initial attempt at it (the start of their "sober journey"), and don't count relapses in continuous sobriety as "starting over.". This isn't what the chip means for everyone else in the room though, so this is dishonorable within AA culture.
I know that I would stubbornly refuse to congratulate them or eat their cake...because honor is so important to me. Then I'd be the one who didn't get cake...
Congratulations to you on your real sobriety. The only power we have is in the choice of surrounding ourselves with people we trust & have faith in...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
This would bother me, too. But the truth is that the universe does not operate based upon fairness and truth, and human nature in general even less so despite our having a moral conscience. I also wondered why people would lie about sobriety in a recovery community - probably why they lie about anything to anyone. Wanting to maintain an image, fear of rejection, seeking power and influence...whatever.
You are truthful and that's all that matters in your own recovery.
You are truthful and that's all that matters in your own recovery.
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