amandaw

I've been here on and off trying to quit. I read regularly though. Yesterday while my husband was working. I left my 2 kids at home (5&2) while I went a mile to the liquor store. I justified it by double latching all the doors and putting on their favorite movie. I was drunk at the time and didn't want to put them in the car with me. Hopefully this is what it will take to get me sober. I hate myself right now. I haven't told my husband. Should I?

FreeOwl

while not unforgivable, this is inexcusable.

if you want to step away from this sort of behavior and the dependence on alcohol, there is an answer.

Are you ready to do whatever it takes?

FreeOwl

The double latch on that door would not have saved your babies from perishing in a fire.

Or choking to death on a toy.

Accidentally hanging themselves.

...........


Do you think this is evidence enough you have a problem?

Are you ready to stop?

Judas

Yeah I have to agree with FreeOwl - this is inexcusable. This should be the "thing" that causes you to turn the corner and do whatever it takes to get better.

doggonecarl

You've been on and off for too long. Time to quit...for good. This incident with your children should serve as the final straw.

But if you are determined to keep drinking, you will dismiss what you did with a simple, "Nothing bad happened," and you will roll on down the same road you've been rolling down.

Briar

Let this serve as a wake up call. This is the place where you have turned into someone you don't know. You have to get yourself back. We are here to support you.

Chiffon

I hate to add to it, but imagine if anything had happened to you - by who and when would your kids have been found?

I admire you for coming onto here and being honest. I'm not sure I could have done that, but please, PLEASE let this be the 'lucky escape', that stops you drinking once and for all.

biminiblue

I would suggest for you to go back and read all the threads you have started here.

You aren't getting better on your own - tell your husband and get into treatment before something happens that will ruin your life irrevocably.

FreeOwl

Central California Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous

tommyinphilly

If this isn't your bottom, what will be? Don't wait to find out. Come clean and get help

SoberLeigh

I say this with compassion and concern. It is the time to turn this thing around once and for all, Amanda, before something truly tragic happens - something from which you or others cannot turn around.

Yes, I feel your husband should be told to help realize the severity of the situation.

Have you considered rehab? Now is the time for real action.

Applekat

I hope this is your turning point. I have two young kids, and this breaks my heart.

Reach out for more help.

There's a book/memoir called Drunk Mom that chronicles similar scenarios and it scared me to my core.

jagger2012

I don't think this is unforgivable and we have all done things of which we are ashamed...i am using mine as a catalyst for change and hopefully you will as well. I was drunk last night, but I won't be tonight...

desypete

this is the sort of thing that the socail services had to use against us both me and my ex wife as being unfit to look after our kids

i was away at one time and my ex wife left the 2 small kids with my older son who was then 13 while she went out down to the pub
a small fire started upstair as the kids had been playing with a lighter luckly my older son put the fire out

my older daugher found out about it and reported it to social services as there was a real danger to our kids health

drink really did rip out family apart back then and my daugher was so right to do what she did even though i hated her at the time for it as i to was a drunk just like my ex wife

so i understand how it is for you and how you will be feeling but at least think about those little ones
i know you will be a good loving parent but if the social workers find out or if you do it again and again something bad is bound to happen

please tell your partner what you did so he can at least make sure the kids are safe as that has to be top priority here.

belive me i lost my 2 small ones to social services care and i hated it, i was ashamed of it all
but i still carried on drinking for another couple of years longer as i couldnt live with all the guild and shame and couldnt do without the pain killer ( booze )

finally when i did get into aa and sober up i got my kids back out of care and have had them now with me as a single parent for the last nine years

i had to lose it all in order to find a way out although i didnt like it and i though the whole world was against me and a cruel place and i blamed the social workers i blamed anyone but me

so please tell your partner what you did dont try to hide away from it as he really does need to know just how bad its getting for you and will i am sure try to help you find the help that is out there for you

aa help me and changed my life around but there are other options around if you dont like the idea of aa
but whatever you do please put them kids first in this instance

big hug to you and hope you can find the help

Serenidad

This is what the disease of alcoholism wants you to do! I bet the Beast is very happy! Thank God nothing happened (injury, fire, poisoning, medical emergency). Or crap...what if you would have gotten a DUI and ended up in jail? You would have had to tell the cops your kids were home alone. You'd surely be in jail for a very long time facing child endangering etc etc. You are very lucky!

Now...we have ALL done things we regret while drinking! TRUST ME! If anyone knows it's me!!! :-(

My friend chose to drive drunk with her 5 year old son in the car a few years ago and she hit a tree and he was decapitated! She was a great person in all other respects but the disease of alcoholism OWNED her!

She spent 4 years in prison (half of it on suicide watch) and a life-long sentence of knowing she killed her only child. She is sober now but I can't imagine a worse bottom!!!

We have all done horrible things while drinking! Learn from it! DONT beat yourself up for long. That's what your disease wants! It knows the shame and guilt will lead you to drink again!

It took ALOT of courage to come on here and tell on yourself! That's a great step! You are very strong! I'm not sure I could have done it. Maybe this is your bottom!

*Write down how you feel right now. Write down all the possible consequences that could have occurred then put down the "stick" and stop beating yourself up! It does no good!

I would NOT tell your husband. Thankfully nothing happened (this time). Get sober. Stay sober. Make amends later after you have some solid sobriety under your belt (1 year plus). Others may disagree but I feel that telling him will create more consequences for you.

BUT....Do you think you will leave the kids home alone again??? If so, maybe you should tell him to keep them safe.

Learn from this. Alcohol wants us all dead! It would also like people we love dead. It's the devil! My prayers are with you!

Opivotal

Only when you got a little clear headed did you realize the severity of what you did. Alcohol clouds judgement...you know that.

Alcohol is the love of your life at the moment...not your children, not hubby. That love will destroy everything you hold dear to you, Amanda.

I would come clean to your husband, make arrangements to get help before you lose the "real" loves of your life.

You don't need anyone to tell you what you did was wrong...you don't need scolding, you need help. Make today the day you turn your life around.

Best Wishes

MavisTheFairy13

Hi Amanda, I think you should tell your husband. And also see your doctor and start the ball rolling to get some proper support. Thank god your children were ok but imagine if something had happened? This is definitely the wake up call to do something and get help. Keep posting everyone here will support you

flutter

I'm equally concerned by the fact that you were drunk 'taking care' of your kids before making the decision to leave them alone. I hope so much that this is a turning point for you. Often we as alcoholics are perfectly fine with killing ourselves, but when it comes to the innocents in our lives, that's another level of destruction. Please tell your husband, mostly so that he knows how important it is to find another caregiver for those kids, but also so that he's aware of the severity of the issue and can make his decisions with eyes wide open.

Serenidad

After reading all the comments I have decided I agree with Desypete. You SHOULD tell your husband to keep those kids safe and open his eyes to how sick you are. (Notice I said SICK, not BAD!)

My prayers are with you! Let this be your bottom! You can do this!!! Again...you are extremely BRAVE for posting this because you had to have known you were gonna get some harsh comments. People just want this to be your wake-up call because they care. I do to! (((Hug)))

razor15

I worry for your babies. They have no choice in this, but you do.