queenapple

Today is our 45th anniversary. RAH (separated, living in an apartment at my request) brought over a card and necklace on Halloween while he was handing out candy, since I was out with my granddaughter. I asked him not to get me anything and said we weren't going out to celebrate; he bought something anyway. I made him take the necklace back. I'm not big on jewelry and it seemed like the kind of thing he just picked up kind of at the last minute. It was nice enough, had a sapphire stone, supposedly sapphire is the gift for 45th anniversaries.

I'm so tired of living in limbo land here. He's been gone 5 months and I still have no idea what to do next. His revelation a few weeks ago about visits to prostitutes a number of years ago should make my decision easier, but I feel like I'm stuck in mud. Keep meaning to get to Celebrate Recovery meetings but then just don't feel like going out at night. Haven't been to Alanon for a few weeks, it wasn't helping.

I just keep praying for insight and answers but I'm not hearing anything.

CodeJob

Hello Queen Apple,

Try CR.

It is OK to be muddled in your head. You don't have to make any decision today, particularly on a 45 year anniversary that makes you look back and see the good, the bad, the struggle, the successes, and wonder what other crap did he hide? Just let today be today.

queenapple

Nothing but tears today.

mischa1

Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs

I'm so sorry you are going through this and feel sad. i can't imagine what it must be like for you today. Can you splurge and do something you really love today? Just go out and spend some money on something you don't need. Shopping does help most everything.

Oh and eat some chocolate.

maia1234

Sorry QA-
Definitely a good day to feel sorry for yourself. I am sorry, but be grateful that he is sober. Find the few positives in your life and think about them.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))

irisgardens

Arms around you in a hug QA--it seems perfectly appropriate to me that you are sad and just know you are cared about here. Muddled seems also pretty appropriate for the day and the memories and the length of time...

queenapple

Thanks, everyone. I do appreciate it.