no contact?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: huntsville ar
Posts: 39
no contact?
My AH moved out got a apartment. Says hesgot to fix himself. As in no meth. Hes tried this before n its never worked. I told him i want no contact with him until he gets help. Can someone really guit using meth by themself? I wish i could move into the future n see for myself. We had a good life for 20 yrs n its been down hill since meth. This is the hardest thing ive ever done. He says hes been clean over a month. He would take off for days spend all kinds of money. Do i believe him now hes been clean ? No family r friends here to lean on.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
When my ex and I did our temporary separation (which ended up being permanent) I made the mistake of listening to his words- I'm not drinking, I'm going to meetings, getting counseling, blah, blah, instead of listening to my gut.
When I returned after six weeks away, it was obvious that he'd been drinking the entire time and was worse than ever after spending those six weeks on a bender with no one around but his drinking buddies, something I had suspected but remained in denial about because I wanted so much to believe that he had gotten sober.
Limited contact might help you. If I had it to do differently I would not have answered the phone every time he called, I would have started going to Alanon while we were separated, I would have ignored everything his codie mom told me about how well he was doing and I probably would not have gotten back together with him after that six weeks because I would have trusted my gut.
I ended up leaving for good a month later and he has been spiraling down ever since. Thankfully my sons and I are no longer exposed to his drunken behavior and abuse. In the end I had to make a boundary to protect us and I'm glad I did.
When I returned after six weeks away, it was obvious that he'd been drinking the entire time and was worse than ever after spending those six weeks on a bender with no one around but his drinking buddies, something I had suspected but remained in denial about because I wanted so much to believe that he had gotten sober.
Limited contact might help you. If I had it to do differently I would not have answered the phone every time he called, I would have started going to Alanon while we were separated, I would have ignored everything his codie mom told me about how well he was doing and I probably would not have gotten back together with him after that six weeks because I would have trusted my gut.
I ended up leaving for good a month later and he has been spiraling down ever since. Thankfully my sons and I are no longer exposed to his drunken behavior and abuse. In the end I had to make a boundary to protect us and I'm glad I did.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by jodigrind11 
My AH moved out got a apartment. Says hesgot to fix himself. As in no meth. Hes tried this before n its never worked. I told him i want no contact with him until he gets help. Can someone really guit using meth by themself? I wish i could move into the future n see for myself. We had a good life for 20 yrs n its been down hill since meth. This is the hardest thing ive ever done. He says hes been clean over a month. He would take off for days spend all kinds of money. Do i believe him now hes been clean ? No family r friends here to lean on.
I wouldn't believe a thing that comes out of his mouth. I'd prepare for the worst. The chances that he'll be able to quit using meth on his own are quite small. Not quite zero, but close to zero. When people say they want to attempt to quit on their own, the implicit assumption is they have control over their addiction.
And they don't.
Have you considered attending Nar Anon or Al Anon?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
