Fed up of relapsing
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: London
Posts: 2
Fed up of relapsing
Hi this is the first time I've ever posted/ joined this site. I'm only 24 and I've know I've had a problem since I was just 15. Been 9 years I've been battling With drink I just wish I was "normal" and not an alcoholic. The longest I go with out drinking is 6months then I mess up again. I feel so lonely and trapped, when I talk to my husband he doesn't really understand why or how I find it so hard.. Well he doesn't have a drink problem! Anyone else in the same boat as me or managed to beat there addiction in the end? Would be nice hearing from people who understand what I'm going through
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey Burleybaby- Welcome!
Yeah, me too, but we're just not wired that way. You found your way here, which is huge. Take some time and read over some of the other postings and I'm sure you'll see that you are not alone.
I can tell you that things do improve, however it does take some work, which includes redefining who you are as a person. This might include finding other non-booze activities and the like.
You've found a great place for support and I do hope I see you around!
Lusher
I just wish I was "normal" and not an alcoholic.
I can tell you that things do improve, however it does take some work, which includes redefining who you are as a person. This might include finding other non-booze activities and the like.
You've found a great place for support and I do hope I see you around!
Lusher
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum Burleybaby!! 
I went round and round in circles for a year or more, great intentions after a few days or weeks would end up with me drinking again.
I cracked it eventually with an acceptance that I can never control alcohol no matter the time of abstinence, I really needed to part ways with alcohol on a permanent basis, and the second thing was having more support, something to get me out of my own mind when I felt like having a drink would be a good idea.
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
I went round and round in circles for a year or more, great intentions after a few days or weeks would end up with me drinking again.
I cracked it eventually with an acceptance that I can never control alcohol no matter the time of abstinence, I really needed to part ways with alcohol on a permanent basis, and the second thing was having more support, something to get me out of my own mind when I felt like having a drink would be a good idea.
You'll find loads of support here on SR!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I do understand that recovery is not easy, but I wonder what changes you've made in your life during those six months, besides stopping drinking? Were you able to start new activities that interested you or made new sober friends?
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Welcome- we understand, my "off switch is broken"
I just wish I was "normal" and not an alcoholic
I think accepting that this statement will never be is the "first" step. Trying to be normal or "be normal again" just brought me increasing misery.
Life's better and easier sober
I just wish I was "normal" and not an alcoholic
I think accepting that this statement will never be is the "first" step. Trying to be normal or "be normal again" just brought me increasing misery.
Life's better and easier sober
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 118
Originally Posted by Anna 
Were you able to start new activities that interested you or made new sober friends?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
Hi and welcome burleybaby
I wanted to be normal too - and that desire would lead me back to drinking again and again.
Are you prepared to accept yet you're never going to be one of those 'normal drinkers'?
D
I wanted to be normal too - and that desire would lead me back to drinking again and again.
Are you prepared to accept yet you're never going to be one of those 'normal drinkers'?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I find myself less and less in the 'wishing I wasn't an alcoholic' space.
I've found it helpful to focus on all the good things that come with sobriety.
I have turned a corner.... It was somewhere around 6-8 months; rather than wishing I weren't alcoholic and could drink like a normal person, I find myself grateful for not drinking at all and kind of confused why anyone would even want to.
Now that's now always, and sure.... Sometimes I have that passing envy or grief... But it quickly fades when I recognize it and refocus on the goodness of sobriety.
I know how hard it is in our 20's. in fact, that's probably exactly why it took me until my 40's to get here.
I hope you find the support and the strength to make sobriety your path at such a young age. If there's anything I wish... It's that I would have discovered how much better life is without alcohol way back then.
I've found it helpful to focus on all the good things that come with sobriety.
I have turned a corner.... It was somewhere around 6-8 months; rather than wishing I weren't alcoholic and could drink like a normal person, I find myself grateful for not drinking at all and kind of confused why anyone would even want to.
Now that's now always, and sure.... Sometimes I have that passing envy or grief... But it quickly fades when I recognize it and refocus on the goodness of sobriety.
I know how hard it is in our 20's. in fact, that's probably exactly why it took me until my 40's to get here.
I hope you find the support and the strength to make sobriety your path at such a young age. If there's anything I wish... It's that I would have discovered how much better life is without alcohol way back then.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 23
Originally Posted by Burleybaby
I just wish I was "normal" and not an alcoholic.
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