Bruno1979

Hi everyone,

I've just been reading through my personal SR messages and there are quite a few people who have messaged me over the last few years who no longer post on here,

Deep in my heart I hope that they're okay but deep down I fear about them and that they may be in a horrible place or possibly even worse.

It's more and more a motivation to stay on the right path,

Stay safe everyone,

Bruno.

FreeOwl

It's that way in the rooms too....


Too often someone who disappears from around the tables isn't seen again until they pop up on the obituaries.

Soberwolf

I always check birthdays at the bottom of the main page to say happy birthday to ppl in 3 months i have said it once like that

Im hoping to say it more over the next year

Fly N Buy

Yes, I wonder about this as well. I read a lot of old threads and then look the person up. A vast majority from > a year or two are no longer active. I've only been on here since July, but ball park my own half arsed metrics of this solo, not based on personal experience. I assure you that Internet Brands - the corporation for SR - knows the metrics based on IP addresses and login data. I would think this is used to sell advertising - Not suggesting they share base line data, but overall hits - time spent online - first posters - frequency - return rate - drop off - forgotten passwords - etc....

I am sure it's like life. Some are still sober and do not feel the need for SR any longer and some have gone off to do what we alcoholics have a tendency to do - drink, again. Some probably read post occasional but don't post I guess as well.

So, I suppose I am a little selfish in that I look at this forum as a solution based add - on for the newly sober. Frankly, I give credit to those who post a lot for a long period of time. I don't not think I have the constitution necessary - at least at this point to do that for a long period. Who knows though....

I read many of the stories of recovery and most of those folks are gone as well - or silent I should say, without any posts in a long time.

Seems to me it's no different than what I have seen in the meeting rooms 3D. They come and go. Overall sobriety at 5 + years, based on what little information we can digest - hard to really know though - is less than 10% and may be as low as 5%.

I don't concern myself with that, work on my program - turn my problems over to God and keep on truckin!!!

Yes, motivation to stay the course
Fly

PurpleKnight

It's the nature of a resource like SR, hopefully everyone is doing alright wherever they may be!!

Magellan

I'm not sure how things will go for me. But in church today, actually it was a bible study after, and one topic that came up was...what is our purpose and our peace in life. As I look around my office at home (actually just a converted alcove with a computer I built into the wall) I have stuff my daughters have drawn me, with hearts and smiles and XOXOX and I thought about what I told my daughter when the cradle care worker (we adopted her at 3 days old - second one adopted at 24 hours +-) handed her to me...I said, I can't promise you I will be the best Dad in the world but I can promise you I will love and protect you always, so I need to make "always" last as long as possible and I need to try to be the best Dad possible, they are my purpose and my peace (although sometimes it doesn't feel peaceful..hahaha) and I have decided that one component of this is to eliminate alcohol forever, nothing good can come from it. With that said, whether it is with SR (which has helped me out an incredible amount - BTW I'm not sure how I even found this site, I wasn't even looking, I was actually searching for a bottle of wine my Mom wanted me to get for her B'Day...go figure) or something else, I hope to be in the 5%-10% who make it
Sorry for the rambling, but I promised myself that I would log on AND post somewhat frequently towards the end of week-end days, as those tend to be my weakest.

biminiblue

I don't think I'll stay here long-term. I have been on other forums for other life issues and after a while all the threads start to look the same.

In the beginning it was great for me to read all the information posts, the success stories and to be involved in some group threads to keep me accountable and on-task. Now I spend way too much time here and really don't need to, it's just a replacement addiction at this point. It's starting to feel compulsive. I don't like that.

I've been thinking about it a lot this week and I'm going to cut back on time spent here pretty soon. It's becoming a hindrance to my real life

CAPTAINZING2000

I've been on here for 10 years.
Sadly, some members have died in the 10 years I've been on here.
Some times, personality conflicts causes people to leave .
Some people, get busy living life and no longer post.

I continue to stop in here daily and offer encouragement.
Life is a lot better living it clean and sober.

Fly N Buy

Magellan,

Take it like we all do - one day at a time! Again, recovery numbers are very difficult to really prove one way or the other. Alcoholics, both recovering (ed ) and active using don't exactly stand around to be counted!!

Keep doing the right thing for yourself and Family. That's all any of us can do!!

You'll be fine!

fly

Fandy

I don't worry so much about others, people come and go all the time for VARIOUS reasons, like living and having good things happen too. Supposing the worst doesn't do anything for my sobriety.

Aellyce

It's like life, or most things in the Universe. Ever changing.

I personally can see myself staying on here and coming back regularly long-term because I've been getting so much out of this experience and I've made some valuable connections that I don't want to leave behind for a while (if it's my choice). It's also a great exercise for me in the area of commitment and loyalty. It's also very easy to use SR, can do it in parallel with other activities, from almost anywhere. Well this is how I feel now, but who knows really? Nothing in life is ever stable or easily predictable.

Stevie1

I feel the same way - SR has been tremendously helpful to me and to so many others. I was recently looking through some old messages and PMs and hoped that the people who had left SR did so because they'd gotten what they needed from here and had moved on sober. I'd rather think that than the alternative.

I spend time here and on another message board and on news sites - and it's a great way to unwind/get support/get answers/connect with lots of different people. (I don't have a TV so I justify my computer use that way.) But I don't feel real good about myself when I spend too much time parked on my butt in front of the computer. I feel much better about myself when I've spent the day being out and about and generally doing stuff.

That said, I've been on and off here for over four years and mostly when I've been off the wagon, I don't post here. It's tremendously helpful in early sobriety, though. Hopefully this time is the charm and I'll continue to visit (just not TOO much!)

MythOfSisyphus

This is a common theme and one that I think about too. I would like to think everyone that has left is doing great but realistically some have probably relapsed and/or died. I'm sure though that some just reach the point where they can "take off the training wheels" and get on with their lives, no need of SR.

I think that's okay. SR is an open door. People can come and go; they can give according to their abilities and take according to their needs.

There are some forums I used to be a fixture on that I couldn't imagine ever leaving. But I have drifted away from some of them over time. The forums change and we change. It's good to know that SR will be here, though.

Dee74

As CarolD (a long time Mod) used to say people come and people go - we wish them all well on their journey.

The door will always swing open both ways here at SR

D

hypochondriac

I used to worry about them too until I became one of them! I don't post here as often anymore but am still sober and happy. Really this site is better for newcomers and sometimes we move onto other things further down the line. I spend a lot of my time volunteering these days so I get my recovery fix that way.

So don't worry too much, it may be that they are just enjoying their sober life too much to check in here x

Chiffon

Imagine though, if people kept joining and no-one ever left. Poor Dee would be spinning like that cartoon Tazmanian Devil

Dee74

what makes you think I don't do that already Chiffon? LOL.

I think this place is for newcomers sure, but there are a lot of long term members who like to give back too.

Generally it's a pretty good mix

D

Croissant

I think the same could be said for many online forums, people come and go - it's not a reason to think the worst.

FreeOwl

All the threads looking the same is one of the more powerful reasons I'm here.

I NEED that sameness. I need to be reminded - everytime a newcomer walks in that door telling my own story - that all I need to do is take my head out of the game and I could be right back in hell tomorrow.

Chiffon

I agree Freeowl. It's when we get complacent or arrogant or think we've 'nailed it', that the problem re-surfaces x