jodigrind11

Why cant i stop thinking about him? How do people do it? You would think as much as i have to do ....taking care of my paralized son , 2 grand children, driving a school bus, and all the things i have to do, i wouldnt have time. Im driving myself crazy about meth addiction. I need to let go but i cant. I want to text n call my AH just to talk. We have no family r friends here where we moved n i feel so alone. Even with my grown kids living here. Cant talk to them. My daughter says she hates him to her soul. Im so lost without him. My heart is broken in so many many pieces. I thought at my age this would be the easy time in my life but it turned out the hardest. Never thought id still be dealig with meth addiction from AH still.

zoso77

Sometimes we don't stop thinking about the addict. I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking about the addict. And I'll be honest: I think about my AXGF quite a bit and she's been gone almost 3 years.

But when I think about her, the context is always, Thank God she's gone, because I wouldn't be doing anywhere as well or anywhere as happy as I am now. The life lessons I learned from dealing with my AXGF are ones that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life, and that's a good thing.

So, don't worry about thinking about your AH. That's OK. What you do have to be on guard about is allowing those thoughts to hijack your reason. And let's be frank: you cannot reason with someone in active meth addiction. Just because we think about something doesn't mean we should act on those thoughts.

If you need to feel sorry for yourself, put a time limit on it. You've got a lot on your plate with your son, your grandchildren, and your other responsibilities. You can't afford to do it for long.

You joined in September 2012, but you only have 15 posts. I encourage you to stick around and allow us to support you while you're going through this. No one is an island. Keep us posted.

jodigrind11

I will be here. Feeling a little bit better every time i get on. A little stronger. Thank u

mistyeye

jodigrind11
I am in such a similar situation. I understand the pain and the what happened. All you can think about is them. Tears roll down your face and just wish you could hold them and it all go away. My ABF left without a word almost three weeks ago. When I met him he was a rma. I loved that man he was all i needed especially getting out of a stagnant 18 year marriage. Well I went to visit my children for a month and that is when he started using again. He told me it was his doc. He tried to convince me meth wasnt as bad as everyone says. It gives u endorphins and your body already produces that blah blah blah. Well after a month of struggling with this addiction I have never faced before he promised to quit. We moved into his bosses house with our 10 month old son. 3 weeks later he said he was going to get cigarettes and never came back. He wouldn't answer my calls or texts. I started blaming me. What did I do to make him leave. Then it hit me he was on meth again. He would also go to the cig shop and never wanted us to come. I felt if I could just talk to him I could make it better. His mom and sister have seen him. They do not like me because my AB would rather spend time with me than them. They were jealous and tried to sabotage our relationship. If they have seen him since the last time, I wont know they wont tell me. I am always praying that he is somewhere warm. I think these forums help us. We are with people who have gone through it, people who are going through it and we will be here for the ones who are going to go through it.

gabriel01

Jodigring, I have been there. I was so sorry for myself , I felt so angry, so stupid. It was last year Christmas holiday. But it was just to a point that I knew I was repeating the cycle and I couldn't do it anymore. So I changed and cut contact. I did think about him everyday, every hour. I cried few times a day. Yet I told myself that's enough, I need to focus on myself. I kept reading, posting, and go to meetings. I cried, I then read. I cried and then I come here. I then cried again, but I kept go to meetings. Slowly and slowly, I cried less. I didn't cry every hour. Then I didn't cried every day anymore. Then I found myself I haven't cried for a week. It takes time to heal. But if you want to do it, I have faith that you can do it too

I wanted to text him so bad too. But I decided to close my fb account, not block him. I closed mine, so I won't able to search him too. I turned off my cell phone most of the time. (I took 3 weeks off from work) I only turned it on when I felt better. If he messaged me, I deleted it when I turned it on. I don't have many family from where I live too. I only have my dad and my 8 years old daughter here. My dad was on vacation last Christmas. Even he was not, I would not tell him about it too. I felt so alone. But I opened myself up to one of my friends. I told him everything. I was lucky, he was willing to listen to me everytime I called him (anytime of the day). Try to talk to someone, it does help. They can't help you to solve your problems and sadness, but they can help and let you know you are not alone. Or come here

jodigrind11

I told him yesterday im done texting n talking to him until he gets some help. Its hard because our youngest son works with him. Hes our sons boss. Our son is 22 n this is really hurting knowing what his dad has become. Its really hard not to question him about his dad. He justt gets so angry. Our son doesnt do drugs,drink not even cig. Not only is he letting me down but is hurting our son. I hate him for that. Why oh why cant he see what hes doing to his family? Are does he not even care?