ArtFriend

I am just thinking about some of the heavy drinkers I have met over the years and it appears that most suffer from low self-esteem and a good bit of envy or jealousy. My friends and family members who are heavy drinkers are all very small minded and self serving. Didn't see it as much when I was drinking, but now it stands out so clearly.

What are your thoughts on that? Is it the alcohol that makes them become this way or are they naturally predisposed to be this way and they drink on top of it?

trachemys

If I am any indicator, their true nature is unknowable until alcohol is removed for quite a while.

LonelyShadow

I would say that alcohol does tend to make people small minded and self serving, it's terribly malicious in that way, it changes a lot about people's personalities and usually changes it in a way that essentially makes the individual drink more.

dcrr

In my instance I know I became so unhappy with the person I was because of drinking that I became envious of other people's happiness. That was a feeling I tried to remove by drinking more. Which caused it to return, and so on and so forth. A terrible way to live.

Soberwolf

All i know is Alcohol will take anyone down some will disagree but nothing comes good of alcohol it twists minds destroys anything and everything

Alcohol is insidious

SoberHoopsFan

I was a very bitter and envious person while actively drinking. Most of that disappeared when I stopped. I don't know if everyone who drinks heavily feels like that, but I know that everyone who drinks heavily is miserable on some level. I can't think of a single benefit to being a heavy drinker to be honest...

ScottFromWI

I think it's a bit stereotypical to suggest that all heavy drinkers and alcoholics are narrow minded, or that Alcohol somehow causes it. I know plenty of narrow minded people that don't drink or aren't problem drinkers. I also have known alcoholics thar were kind, compassionate people.

Eventually alcohol takes everyting away of course, but I think the person underneath is still an individual.

NHTransplant

I spent a lot of time as a drunk hating myself and everyone around me who showed any kindness to me. Alcohol might not have caused that mentality, but it certainly empowered me to share that negativity with others.

foolsgold66

I have known some heavy drinkers that were always quite jolly. Also some that were very arrogant. Some folks do also perceive what I call pragmatism as pessimism and\or cynicism. I don't think that alcohol consumption always drives personality.

aloneatlast

Alcohol is a depressant. That is a clinical fact, so that bearing in mind, you will never see the best version of someone, if they are drunk. The best version of a person, can only be obtained through sobriety.

This explains why I have never met, so many genuinely nice, warm, welcoming and understanding people as on Sober Recovery. This community is a true testament to the nature that once you make that decision not to start drinking again, you can change for the better.

JanieJ

Hmmm- I' ll have to think about that one. Interesting subject. You post some great discussion topics, ArtFriend.

Real food for thought !

Fly N Buy

My experience is that when you take away the alcohol from the alcoholism you still have the ism....or the ic(k).

For example - I have known many drunks who seemed kind and generous. This, again - in my experience is not the truth. This type will buy affection = me, and appear happy go lucky. Reality of who they are is much different.

Alcoholics are typically full of fear - many kinds. The Ahhhh of alcohol seems to let all that dissipate. But, it is truly a mirage and not real. That fear exists prior to the first drink. I have never met a true alcoholic that simply was a drunk without underlying socialization / relationship issue. I looked at the world simply as black or white - yes or no - right or wrong. By definition I believe this is narrow mindedness. Is there always these absolutes, of course not. But on the average, these traits are not atypical.

Self centered / ego centric, fear driven......Many of the 7 deadly sins are the alcoholics best friend. Greed, lust, gluttony etc.

Do some normal people have these flaws? Of course - but I have never met an alcoholic that was not self centered prior to and during drinking daze and full of fear. Again, to the outsider is may not be apparent. Many are the life of the party......paradoxical.

I am sure others will disagree, but IMO that is the true sober journey people speak of - a development of getting outside ourselves and caring more about others than ourselves. Learning what truly caring and loving another means - honest relationships. Finding out who WE really are and dealing with........

I will exit with this story - I heard a long time sober woman talk recently. She stated that one of her fears was not being accepted by others. So, she was very gregarious - buying things - drinks etc for many of those around her. This lady was an executive in the White House under several presidents. One night she was at bar with friends. There was a homeless person outside cold, winter months. She announced to all she was giving her new coat to the person and walked outside. After all had said goodnight, she got in a cab and had the driver circle the block.......she went back to find the homeless person to get her coat back!

The chicken and the egg dichotomy I suppose is what you've layed out..... ( come on, that's funny !)

That's my take ArtFriend
peace
fly

EndGameNYC

People who are drinking themselves to death, always on the cusp of losing their jobs, their families, friends, homes, savings, self-respect and everything else that's possible to lose have every reason to be envious towards other people.

Nuudawn

I just kept drinking my way through a never ending pity party. EVERYBODY had it better than me.

I implored my wine glass night after night...why am I alone? Why doesn't anyone love me?

Ya ya ya..

We all know that answer to that one.