Stewy84

Just been to some works event and there was a guy there that I interviewed for a job a few weeks back. I didn't really let on to him properly and felt like I should of done.

For some reason though I felt a bit threatened by him, a couple of people were going on saying he was the new flavour of the month at work and with the ladies etc. I can't work it out to be honest, normally I'm just placid. He's a bit younger than me maybe that's it. I'm 30 now

Anyone been in a situation like this?

What is the feeling experienced?

Soberwolf

What do you mean let on to him ?

sounds like the green eyed monster and thats no good stewy maybe he reminds you of a younger version of yourself and you possibly dont like that ?

Stewy84

Let on = say hello / greet somebody

(I live near Liverpool / UK it's a slang term)

Yes I think you're right, he does remind me of a younger version. I was going through in my head- " I used to be the favourite, the lad, the one everyone gets excited about"

Oh dear, very rarely had that feeling and it's not nice at all!!!

Stewy84

It's actually stressed me out to the point I'm still ruminating over it now!!

Soberwolf

I wouldnt let it get to you this is ego and my ego wants to kill me in a horrific manner so i stay away from feelings such as this i have to my ego will get me into trouble etc

i do realise it bothers you but what can you do ? compete for affection ? isnt there a film called this means war have you seen it ? it sounds like this

in all honesty if you compete for affection it isnt real so to speak if theres a girl you like then take it slow things blossom like that when thier meant to

remember you interviewed him so hel get the attention for a bit (new kid on the block)

like in toy story and woody was devastated at buzz lightyears arrival

dont let it get to you your doing great stewy

trachemys

You're just feeling threatened.

Dee74

Hi Stewy
I spent years being threatened by every newcomer on the scene.

Years of drinking had left me with no real idea of who I was - my value was defined by how others treated me - when someone else was made a fuss of, I felt threatened.

After I stopped drinking I got a far better perspective on who I was and my worth, a worth not dependent on outside validation, but an internal one

Stick with it

JanieJ

Hey, Stewy, it's not worth getting het up about.

Where is your sense of self worth ? He may be the new kid on the block ,but you are the one who's been around it and knows it better than he does.

Dee and SoberW have some words of wisdom there.

Anna

Stewy, you can use this as an experience that you can learn from and grow. There is a lesson to be learned, something that you can take with you from this experience. What do you think life is trying to tell you here?

liv1ce

I was about to write and Dee took the words right out of my mouth.

Seeing someone else in an exalted position emphasizes how small you feel about yourself and experience remorse over what you have lost.

I stay out of social circles as a matter of course and tend to be a lone wolf so don't run into this in the same situation.

However, I have found a different way to experience the same thing. I am getting older and really am at retirement age but like what I do and could use a few years of making money. In my profession I used to be THE MAN. Everyone came to me for my experience and advice and I was generally considered to be quite expert if not the best at what I do. I held a similar opinion of myself but managed to chip away at this self image with my despicable behavior.

Now, I have noticed, as I have reached the "golden age" that younger, newer minds have passed me by and I feel somewhat set aside. I find this hurtful and offensive but it may well be time for me to step aside and accept it as a normal rite of passage.

Dee74

I dunno - I think there is always a place for old dogs Liv1ce - or there should be
D

Soberwolf

Well said D

MelindaFlowers

Stewy,

Do you really want to be the "flavor of the month" with "the ladies?" I am getting images in my mind of the new guy with a gold chain, spray tan, diamond stud earrings, fake Rolex, and way too much cologne. Who wants those ladies who are interested in the "flavor of the month" anyways? 32 here. We're in our 30's now. Let's leave the "flavor of the month" to the under 25's.

Soberwolf

Out to my 32 crew im 32 woop woop lol

Stewy84

Thanks guys, I think as sober wolf initially said its a hint of jealousy however there is no need to be.

Dee I think it's what you said about celebrating what's within yourself and embracing the uniqueness. I can still play guitar, football and I'm a dad. Nothing has changed.

I have been toying with the notion that it may actually be time to grow up although I have this petulance about me that I'm trying to iron out

He's been mentioned again at the team meeting today and I now seem to be reacting negatively even to that. Need to sort that

Dee74

I like being a grown up now LOL. I think you will too Stewy

D

DoubleDragons

We'll never be satisfied getting our approval and appreciation outside of ourselves. A member here recommended the book Awareness by Anthony DeMello. It has been a life changer for me. Demello's premise is, "I'm an ass. You're an ass." Hilarious, but so true, the games that we play! I think your level of introspection is excellent and it will help you move past this quickly.

Soberwolf

Stewy i think your awesome i can imagine your face at the team meeting LOL

start poking pins in dolls LOL

Hang in there bud like you said you play guitar that makes you a hero instantly lol and your a dad your your son/daughter hero

and your fit and healthy enough to play football

Stewy my friend you sound awesome to me and to many others