hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: uk east yorkshire
Posts: 115
hello
i didn't know where to start so I guessed ill post here
my name is dave, 42, from uk,
ive tried for 5 years to give up drinking, unsucsessfully.
I am now just coming up to 2 months sober,
wow what a difference, from not being able to stop drinking, getting arrested, jail, court, just in a mess, oblivion and blackout.
I don't believe in god, I threw this spanner in the works every single time.
now I have (not completed ill never say ive completed the steps) but ive gone through the steps the best I can with my beleifs.
heres my story from 31/8/2014
of corse I am addicted to alcohol, and I realise the risks I take every time I open a can of beer, my life is a mess, I cant control my drinking, I cant stop, I make a choice to accept I am a small part of a big world and follow some simple guidelines to be part of, instead of me and alcohol fighting against the whole world, (at the age of 7 I remember saying to myself its me against the world now) that's a long time to fight. I write a big long step 4, I share it with a AA member and a burning candle, I then burn the whole written step 4 apart from the list of good things ive done, (this list wasn't as long as the bad things), onto step 6&7 look at my weaknesses, my defects, the way I start to handle situations even without a drink, of corse by this point im ready to have my defects of character removed, humbly asked him to remove our shorcomings, well as ive said I don't believe in god, but im willing to try my best and approach situations in a better manor rather that a negative manor and then end up feeling bad and thinking a drink will help, step 8 I had a list from step 4, step 9, I was advised the best I can do is a living amends, ive done a few amends in person, but advised to now concentrate on making living amends as ive said sorry and promised ill stop drinking and getting in trouble so many times and failed, personal inventory, yes look over my day, apoligise if I need to, see where I could have done better, and a pat on the back for things I did well/ok, prayer and meditation, I speak at AA meetings, and I listen, that's the best I can do as a none believer in god, but prayer is talking/speaking, meditation is to listen, for me, im speaking about me/my recovery, 12 of corse ill try my best to pass this message on and help others.
have I had a spiritual awakening, I don't know, but I do know I feel much better I feel content with what I have instead of want want want, the grass was always greener on the other side until one day I realised its actually just as brown on both sides, money and material things? I would probally be dangerous with loads of money, I get by, im happy and content with what I have, I would like my own house instead of renting, but hey, ive got a roof over my head, im content with that, id like a car of my choice, but hey I have a car a licence I can drive to AA meetings, if I really want another car its practicing my patience and tolerance and save up, (you may guess my hobby is cars, old cars, fords, drag racing), hey a man needs a hobby
good day to you all
may you all stay sober for 24 hours
god bless you
comments and advice welcome, im not new to AA recovery, but I am new to living a sober life and have learnt that AA is a programme to recover, not recover to do a programme, put some work in and whatever your beleifs sobriety will follow
dave
my name is dave, 42, from uk,
ive tried for 5 years to give up drinking, unsucsessfully.
I am now just coming up to 2 months sober,
wow what a difference, from not being able to stop drinking, getting arrested, jail, court, just in a mess, oblivion and blackout.
I don't believe in god, I threw this spanner in the works every single time.
now I have (not completed ill never say ive completed the steps) but ive gone through the steps the best I can with my beleifs.
heres my story from 31/8/2014
of corse I am addicted to alcohol, and I realise the risks I take every time I open a can of beer, my life is a mess, I cant control my drinking, I cant stop, I make a choice to accept I am a small part of a big world and follow some simple guidelines to be part of, instead of me and alcohol fighting against the whole world, (at the age of 7 I remember saying to myself its me against the world now) that's a long time to fight. I write a big long step 4, I share it with a AA member and a burning candle, I then burn the whole written step 4 apart from the list of good things ive done, (this list wasn't as long as the bad things), onto step 6&7 look at my weaknesses, my defects, the way I start to handle situations even without a drink, of corse by this point im ready to have my defects of character removed, humbly asked him to remove our shorcomings, well as ive said I don't believe in god, but im willing to try my best and approach situations in a better manor rather that a negative manor and then end up feeling bad and thinking a drink will help, step 8 I had a list from step 4, step 9, I was advised the best I can do is a living amends, ive done a few amends in person, but advised to now concentrate on making living amends as ive said sorry and promised ill stop drinking and getting in trouble so many times and failed, personal inventory, yes look over my day, apoligise if I need to, see where I could have done better, and a pat on the back for things I did well/ok, prayer and meditation, I speak at AA meetings, and I listen, that's the best I can do as a none believer in god, but prayer is talking/speaking, meditation is to listen, for me, im speaking about me/my recovery, 12 of corse ill try my best to pass this message on and help others.
have I had a spiritual awakening, I don't know, but I do know I feel much better I feel content with what I have instead of want want want, the grass was always greener on the other side until one day I realised its actually just as brown on both sides, money and material things? I would probally be dangerous with loads of money, I get by, im happy and content with what I have, I would like my own house instead of renting, but hey, ive got a roof over my head, im content with that, id like a car of my choice, but hey I have a car a licence I can drive to AA meetings, if I really want another car its practicing my patience and tolerance and save up, (you may guess my hobby is cars, old cars, fords, drag racing), hey a man needs a hobby
good day to you all
may you all stay sober for 24 hours
god bless you
comments and advice welcome, im not new to AA recovery, but I am new to living a sober life and have learnt that AA is a programme to recover, not recover to do a programme, put some work in and whatever your beleifs sobriety will follow
dave
Congratulations on your sober time - you've clearly worked very hard to achieve that. Thank you so much for sharing your story 
You'll find lots of support here. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: uk east yorkshire
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by tommyinphilly 
Congratulations fastfocus, I just hit two months myself. How are you with cravings? I'll be fine for days, then it will hit out of nowhere. Are you getting any of that?
hope you continue your path of sobriety
dave
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
fastfocus, I found your post inspirational. I had a hard time at first understanding why. I had to reread your post to get a sense what inspired me.
Then this jumped out at me. "ive gone through the steps the best I can with my beleifs."
That was it. The best you can with your beliefs.
I don't think I can decide to believe anything either, so I just do the best I can with what I have.
And yes, if you ask me, what you said about the other side of the fence is a bit of a spiritual insight.
However, I have a feeling that with a bit more sobriety, you may see green grass everywhere.
Then this jumped out at me. "ive gone through the steps the best I can with my beleifs."
That was it. The best you can with your beliefs.
I don't think I can decide to believe anything either, so I just do the best I can with what I have.
And yes, if you ask me, what you said about the other side of the fence is a bit of a spiritual insight.
However, I have a feeling that with a bit more sobriety, you may see green grass everywhere.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: uk east yorkshire
Posts: 115
thanks everyone for the warm welcome
its just so different, but of corse im still so much on guard as I don't want to loose what ive gained, I was at a meeting the other night when a friend walked in drunk, it hit me so hard in my stomach, like sh!t that could have been me.
just to be on more of a level, have feelings, all be it sometimes I don't enjoy my feelings.
step 6 meeting last night was excellent, and again I learnt still more.
take care everyone
its just so different, but of corse im still so much on guard as I don't want to loose what ive gained, I was at a meeting the other night when a friend walked in drunk, it hit me so hard in my stomach, like sh!t that could have been me.
just to be on more of a level, have feelings, all be it sometimes I don't enjoy my feelings.
step 6 meeting last night was excellent, and again I learnt still more.
take care everyone
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