Brother who is alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1
Brother who is alcoholic
Hi all,
I have a brother (Dwight) who I believe is entering end-stage alcoholism. He is 54 and drinks during the day and night - sometimes getting up at night because he needs a drink. He has tremors (that go away when he drinks) and his drink of choice is Jack Daniels chased down with beer.
Dwight is financially secure so he doesn't work (retiring 4 years ago). He is divorced and doesn't have children. He has had a life with no responsibilities and, obviously, now has too much time on his hands.
Dwight had mild diabetes (which runs in our family) but did not take care of his health. After a car accident where he blacked out at the wheel, he was 'medivac'ed to the hospital with broken ribs and a broken shoulder plus he then found out his (unattended) diabetes now meant he was insulin dependent. Dwight stayed dry for a couple of months but went back to drinking.
He has lost some weight and now avoids family and friends, having hooked up with a woman who drinks as much as he does. The two of them are together at all times (its hard to get him alone or on the phone because she is so possessive) and they plan to marry next year. His girlfriend, Doris, supposedly drinks a fifth of vodka a day.
Doris drove Dwight to the emergency room two weeks ago when he had high blood pressure of over 235. At the hospital a doctor prescribed a medication (Trexan) to help my brother stop drinking and wanted to keep him in the hospital a second night. Doris insisted that Dwight check out, drove him home, and told family that Dwight was doing a new form of "at home treatment". Two days later, she was tapering him off of this medication. Now they have announced they will be drinking beer.
I guess I am just venting more than anything else. This is a hard and painful story to share with anyone. I had been attending Al-Anon last year and I will be going back this weekend.
I love Dwight and all of his family/friends believe Doris is using him for his money. How long can a couple of people continue to drink like this?
Thanks,
BKS
I have a brother (Dwight) who I believe is entering end-stage alcoholism. He is 54 and drinks during the day and night - sometimes getting up at night because he needs a drink. He has tremors (that go away when he drinks) and his drink of choice is Jack Daniels chased down with beer.
Dwight is financially secure so he doesn't work (retiring 4 years ago). He is divorced and doesn't have children. He has had a life with no responsibilities and, obviously, now has too much time on his hands.
Dwight had mild diabetes (which runs in our family) but did not take care of his health. After a car accident where he blacked out at the wheel, he was 'medivac'ed to the hospital with broken ribs and a broken shoulder plus he then found out his (unattended) diabetes now meant he was insulin dependent. Dwight stayed dry for a couple of months but went back to drinking.
He has lost some weight and now avoids family and friends, having hooked up with a woman who drinks as much as he does. The two of them are together at all times (its hard to get him alone or on the phone because she is so possessive) and they plan to marry next year. His girlfriend, Doris, supposedly drinks a fifth of vodka a day.
Doris drove Dwight to the emergency room two weeks ago when he had high blood pressure of over 235. At the hospital a doctor prescribed a medication (Trexan) to help my brother stop drinking and wanted to keep him in the hospital a second night. Doris insisted that Dwight check out, drove him home, and told family that Dwight was doing a new form of "at home treatment". Two days later, she was tapering him off of this medication. Now they have announced they will be drinking beer.
I guess I am just venting more than anything else. This is a hard and painful story to share with anyone. I had been attending Al-Anon last year and I will be going back this weekend.
I love Dwight and all of his family/friends believe Doris is using him for his money. How long can a couple of people continue to drink like this?
Thanks,
BKS
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Welcome to the family. 
There's really not much you can do for Dwight. As an adult, he can do as he wants. Sounds like Doris is using him. 
Has anyone spoken to her about their worries about Dwight? Will she speak to anyone in your family?
I hope Dwight gets smart and quits drinking soon.
There's really not much you can do for Dwight. As an adult, he can do as he wants. Sounds like Doris is using him. 
Has anyone spoken to her about their worries about Dwight? Will she speak to anyone in your family? I hope Dwight gets smart and quits drinking soon.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome BKS. I'm sorry for what you're going through with your brother.
I once drank that way too - had to get up at night for a fix. I know I wouldn't be sitting here now if I hadn't stopped. I was in my early 50's when I really crashed & burned. I hope you'll check out our Friends & Family Forum too. We care!
I once drank that way too - had to get up at night for a fix. I know I wouldn't be sitting here now if I hadn't stopped. I was in my early 50's when I really crashed & burned. I hope you'll check out our Friends & Family Forum too. We care!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Unfortunatly its got to be Dwight that sees this hopefully speak with him when hes sober
there is also a friends and family section that will help Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
for what its worth i hope it works out Welcome to SR
there is also a friends and family section that will help Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
for what its worth i hope it works out Welcome to SR
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
wow, I really get where you are coming from. My brother is also an end-stage alcoholic who is involved with a woman who enables him. I sense the pain in your posting. I know it is incredibly hard to watch someone self-destruct. I am learning (and with the help of SR) that you MUST let go and take care of yourself. It sounds selfish, but you cannot help someone bent on self destruction. They will take you down with them, no ifs ands or buts. I feel for you! This is a great source of support however.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
I'm sorry about your brother. I have one like that but he is 45. It scares me what will happen to him if he doesn't stop. There really isn't much I can do for him. I'm not financially supporting him and he has the time and his own money to do it. I expressed my concerns to him and told him I loved him no matter what. He knows I will help him however I can when he wants to. My brother's girlfriend doesn't drink so she is the only one that could put some pressure on him but I doubt that would even be enough.
I completely understand the feeling that you are watching someone kill themselves and feeling like there should be something you can do. It's rough.
I completely understand the feeling that you are watching someone kill themselves and feeling like there should be something you can do. It's rough.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 301
Originally Posted by BKSWV 
Hi all,
How long can a couple of people continue to drink like this?
How long can a couple of people continue to drink like this?
It's the luck of the draw I'm afraid.
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