Redheadsusie

Has been going on over 2 weeks- told me last week- he realized he was an a- said he was going to get help. Said he was sorry for all he has put me through. I honestly thought he sounded different - said his body felt weird. Said he was not drinking. I had dinner with him ..........quack quack....... he was lying about it - went 2 days and then drank- went 1 more and then drank. How is that sober? Called me judgmental and strict and told me I was no help and maybe I am not. I am messed up enough- I need people to not hate me - it bothers me. I need to concentrate on myself and leave him to be who he wants to be. My life is calm and happy without his drinking ass here - then why do I start to freak out when I say I need to move on? My parents both died in the past 4 years - my youngest is a senior in college so will be done soon- Ah reminded me of that - that I will be all alone- knows that freaks me out- thanks for saying things that hurt . He can be so mean and then he says one nice thing and I question myself. I am bat sh1t crazy! Smart thing to do is nc for a long time and only e mail about his few bills he pays me for like is car insurance. I do everything else. What kind of person thinks this is a marriage ? I had no support - financially and hardly emotionally? I am a good person- my kids love me - my sisters are there for me and my friends. I need to get this out of my life. Why am I holding myself up? I am my own worst enemy. Thanks for letting me vent. One day at a time.

lillamy

Someone here said once, "It's better to be alone than to wish you were."

Take good care of yourself!!! (((Hugs)))

hopeful4

Sounds to me like you are already managing without him. He clearly makes you feel worse about things. You have the power not to listen to that and participate in it.

One day at a time indeed my friend.

Tight Hugs!

lizatola

Agreeing with the other ladies.....you are doing well, don't listen to him. A friend of mine in program calls what they do 'going fishing'. He's throwing out lines trying to get you to take a bite and see if you'll engage. Listen to the people who love you and take it one day at a time!

Eauchiche

Reminds me of a friend of mine, whose late ex-husband was an alcoholic. She told me she used to imagine selecting which skillet to use to bash his head in.

I don't live with mine any more, and rarely communicate with him. I e-mailed him early this week to ask if he wanted me to take him out to dinner for his birthday, which is next Monday. He told me he already had other plans- a meeting for a state board he sits on. We still could have done dinner later in the weekend, but I get the feeling he is avoiding me.

As much as I miss him, stories like yours show me just how blessed I am to not be living there.

Florence

Going fishing! Yes! He's tugging on the line to see if you're still there. If you don't bite, he'll find another pond.