jjj77

Thank you to all of you out there who post to this Forum. Reading about others' experiences, advice, etc. is invaluable to me.

I had posted a while back about being torn about whether or not to "allow" my AM come to a family event. There was a lot of angst about this, which at the end of the day was wasted energy as she didn't show up (she's in full-on drinking mode).

Net net, I've decided to go NC with her. I told her I don't wan't to talk unless she's in some type of recovery program for 30 days.

And only now do I understand why this is RECOVERY for us. It's hard. It hurts. I have a stomachache about it.

But I know it's the right thing.

I read something in one of the stickies that provided a light-bulb moment for me -- the active alcoholic will basically pull out all the stops to keep things status quo, whatever it takes to allow them to keep drinking - lie, sob, throw serious guilt trips (I mean SERIOUS, right?!?), etc. etc.

And I don't want to be on that bus anymore.

I've finally absorbed the fact that words are meaningless from an active alcoholic -- not because they're a "bad" person, but because they're addicted to alcohol and that is their #1 priority. And, yes, it's hard. It hurts. I have a stomachache about it.

But I'm starting my recovery journey anyway. For me. For my family.

THANK YOU for all the support you offer here. It's so helpful to share with people who've been there.

hopeful4

Good for you. I am sorry it hurts. I recognize that pit in the stomach. However you are right, you need this for your recovery. And by giving her a consequence, you are giving her a chance to truly ponder it all over and the opportunity to reach out.

XXX

airwick

You will be alright, it will all work itself out

Yssa

Life continues.

TheWho

i know it hurts, and sucks sometimes, but i know all we'll be better soon. goodluck to you!

maia1234

JJJ you are right. Not a stinking thing we can do about it, as we all have tried. Good for you with the NC. I blocked my XAH phone number from my phone on the 7th of October. He still leaves me messages that I can see under blocked call messages. I guess he has no clue why I email him instead of calling.

I will not take his verbal abuse anymore from him. Don't have too.. Heal yourself with NC.

Happy Halloween!!

NWGRITS

I haven't talked to my AM in over two years now. I didn't have the pain over it, but she had just nearly caused me to lose my children to the state. I was past being ready to cut the cord. Has it been easy? Not always. There have been moments where I should've been able to call and share things, but I didn't. Has it been blissfully quiet and peaceful in my head? YES. Would I do it again? YES, ONLY SOONER! I find the guilt now comes from others who don't understand how one could possibly cut their mother out of their lives. Well, if you grew up with her, you'd understand. Here, maybe this will help you a little: Motherless by ChoiceÂ*|Â*Katie Naum