What Sort Of Manipulation Do You See?
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What Sort Of Manipulation Do You See?
What sort of manipulation do you see from an addict when they want something? A crafty sales pitch, lies, some kind of power through control of a conversation or situation, threats, intimidation, degradation or even abuse?
We've cut off the addict but give them an inch they will attempt to take 10 miles. They learned not to directly ask for money so they try to sell their idea or plans and/or drum up sympathy with "shocking" replies. They talk about they had to go to a food bank or shelter. Yet recreational activity, alcohol and what ever else seem to flow. When they do hunt for money they always say things like my lawyer said I should pay this bill or "I should have this" etc. They also talk about how getting or doing something for another party would be good for all-um how is that big screen going to benefit everyone again. they also talk poorly of others a lot I guess to deflect from their life.
What sort of tricks or manipulation have you seen from an addict?
We've cut off the addict but give them an inch they will attempt to take 10 miles. They learned not to directly ask for money so they try to sell their idea or plans and/or drum up sympathy with "shocking" replies. They talk about they had to go to a food bank or shelter. Yet recreational activity, alcohol and what ever else seem to flow. When they do hunt for money they always say things like my lawyer said I should pay this bill or "I should have this" etc. They also talk about how getting or doing something for another party would be good for all-um how is that big screen going to benefit everyone again. they also talk poorly of others a lot I guess to deflect from their life.
What sort of tricks or manipulation have you seen from an addict?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
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My son would "try out" various approaches to see what would work. He "needed" prescriptions for his migraines, tools for the new job he can start if he has his own tools, money to pay the people who would hurt him if he didn't, rent for the landlord who is about to evict him, food because he hadn't eaten in 4 days and was getting weak and hated to ask but didn't know what else to do.
Oh boo hoo, what he "wanted" was money for drugs and lying to his mother to get it didn't bother him one bit...and it worked for a very long time until one day I realized that every nickle I gave him was paying for his drugs.
I reminded myself that there are shelters, food banks, detox's, job assistance services, Salvation Army help and people at meetings everywhere who would help him find his way...if he asked and tried.
It's only manipulation until WE realize it is a cry for drugs. From then on it's on us to get wise and send them to the people who have really help them.
Hugs
Oh boo hoo, what he "wanted" was money for drugs and lying to his mother to get it didn't bother him one bit...and it worked for a very long time until one day I realized that every nickle I gave him was paying for his drugs.
I reminded myself that there are shelters, food banks, detox's, job assistance services, Salvation Army help and people at meetings everywhere who would help him find his way...if he asked and tried.
It's only manipulation until WE realize it is a cry for drugs. From then on it's on us to get wise and send them to the people who have really help them.
Hugs
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Exton pa
Posts: 153
I got the " if you don't send me the money now they are not going to let me go and will force me to perform sexual favors" - like an idiot, I fell for it until I sent her a text " any further request for assistance whether financially or otherwise as a result of your continued and chosen lifestyle choice, will be regarded with the utmost concern and turned over to the police immediately regardless of the potential repercussions for drug charges or possession charges". After I sent that, I never got a request again. What an idiot I am for not doing it sooner!
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Originally Posted by thequest 
What sort of manipulation do you see from an addict when they want something? A crafty sales pitch, lies, some kind of power through control of a conversation or situation, threats, intimidation, degradation or even abuse?
We've cut off the addict but give them an inch they will attempt to take 10 miles. They learned not to directly ask for money so they try to sell their idea or plans and/or drum up sympathy with "shocking" replies. They talk about they had to go to a food bank or shelter. Yet recreational activity, alcohol and what ever else seem to flow. When they do hunt for money they always say things like my lawyer said I should pay this bill or "I should have this" etc. They also talk about how getting or doing something for another party would be good for all-um how is that big screen going to benefit everyone again. they also talk poorly of others a lot I guess to deflect from their life.
What sort of tricks or manipulation have you seen from an addict?
We've cut off the addict but give them an inch they will attempt to take 10 miles. They learned not to directly ask for money so they try to sell their idea or plans and/or drum up sympathy with "shocking" replies. They talk about they had to go to a food bank or shelter. Yet recreational activity, alcohol and what ever else seem to flow. When they do hunt for money they always say things like my lawyer said I should pay this bill or "I should have this" etc. They also talk about how getting or doing something for another party would be good for all-um how is that big screen going to benefit everyone again. they also talk poorly of others a lot I guess to deflect from their life.
What sort of tricks or manipulation have you seen from an addict?
It's only now that I can look back at it and recognize it for what it was. When you're in the thick of it, the flood of emotions we experience as the loved one of an addict tend to cloud our wise mind.
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Originally Posted by Ann
My son would "try out" various approaches to see what would work. He "needed" prescriptions for his migraines, tools for the new job he can start if he has his own tools, money to pay the people who would hurt him if he didn't, rent for the landlord who is about to evict him, food because he hadn't eaten in 4 days and was getting weak and hated to ask but didn't know what else to do.
Oh boo hoo, what he "wanted" was money for drugs and lying to his mother to get it didn't bother him one bit...and it worked for a very long time until one day I realized that every nickle I gave him was paying for his drugs.
I reminded myself that there are shelters, food banks, detox's, job assistance services, Salvation Army help and people at meetings everywhere who would help him find his way...if he asked and tried.
It's only manipulation until WE realize it is a cry for drugs. From then on it's on us to get wise and send them to the people who have really help them.
Hugs
Oh boo hoo, what he "wanted" was money for drugs and lying to his mother to get it didn't bother him one bit...and it worked for a very long time until one day I realized that every nickle I gave him was paying for his drugs.
I reminded myself that there are shelters, food banks, detox's, job assistance services, Salvation Army help and people at meetings everywhere who would help him find his way...if he asked and tried.
It's only manipulation until WE realize it is a cry for drugs. From then on it's on us to get wise and send them to the people who have really help them.
Hugs
Absolutely but the tricky part is saying no or giving a suggestion to point them in the right direction without them blowing up like a bomb. They still think everything's under control even after a duis, bankruptcy/s and numerous break ups among other things.
It's gotten to the point of subliminal suggestion where they are currently trying to covertly and/or overtly suggest, plant the seed, start a chain of events that will benefit them. Some might call it a long con and others a used car sales pitch. But it is constant. They don't seem to care how obvious they are.
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Originally Posted by thequest
Absolutely but the tricky part is saying no or giving a suggestion to point them in the right direction without them blowing up like a bomb.
Best advice I was ever given by my daughter's rehab.
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New wave of implied "requests" for money, lot's of money.
The addict/alkie now with gray hair has been talking about "his life" as a whole. Basically amateurish suicide threats. Says if he doesn't get enough money soon, not just a job/good job but enough money to get "his" life back on track "his" life is over. He's been hitting people/relatives in the family hard with implied or indirect requests playing up pity party style which he never did in the past. Even relatives who sees on occasion are calling him out on his statements which also never happened. But at the same time the seniors again who finally stopped enabling have swung back into a sentimental mode 'well he can't wind up on the streets' at the same time admitting there's a problem.
I don't like suicide threats implied or direct. I get being depressed but to me it's manipulation attempting to drum up sympathy.
The addict/alkie now with gray hair has been talking about "his life" as a whole. Basically amateurish suicide threats. Says if he doesn't get enough money soon, not just a job/good job but enough money to get "his" life back on track "his" life is over. He's been hitting people/relatives in the family hard with implied or indirect requests playing up pity party style which he never did in the past. Even relatives who sees on occasion are calling him out on his statements which also never happened. But at the same time the seniors again who finally stopped enabling have swung back into a sentimental mode 'well he can't wind up on the streets' at the same time admitting there's a problem.
I don't like suicide threats implied or direct. I get being depressed but to me it's manipulation attempting to drum up sympathy.
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