razor15

The last 2 days I have seen a drastic dip in optimism and a significant increase in cravings. I'm not sure why or what is driving this. I just seem to have a heightened awareness of any reference to alcohol. A vodka commercial I saw on TV several times this evening more than turned my head.
I am almost 60 days in and I don't want to slip.
I suppose that is why I'm posting this.
So I am accountable to you fine people as well.
Thank you for reading.

least

Do as your heart wants you to do: stay sober. You don't want to throw away your sober time for a feeling, do you? Stay strong. Come here often. Do you have any support in real life? Anyone you can talk to or be with?

If nothing else, stay here and post instead of giving in.

I know it's hard, but you can do it!

HeartsAfire

So proud of you for coming here 1st. You're a great example of, "Keep coming back. It works when you work it & you're worth it!"

Stay close, Razor. We got you but better than that, YOU got you!

Hugs!

pupkin

Good job getting out in front and posting, razor. These moments are tough as hell. Hope you're hanging in there. I like the way I've heard other members describe these storms of cravings and exhaustion as a monster or beast that knows it's losing the battle and is getting desperate, trying everything to manipulate you into feeding it again. Don't give in! You're winning the battle--the terrible cravings are evidence of that. Press on, give no ground. Choke that beast out.

Chiffon

In my experience, any 'milestone', seem to bring with it an increase in cravings. You're about to reach 60 days - please try and get through to 61 and i am convinced, things will level out for you

Dee74

60 days is hard cos it's long enough to forget the bad stuff and too soon to really enjoy the benefits of recovery...it's a very common hurdle, razor...

There are no answers back the way we came...stick with us

D

MavisTheFairy13

Wow you are doing amazing! You want to get to day 60, imagine how you would feel if you ended up at day 1 again. I'm still on day 1 and I could have been nearly on day 40 since I started! The alcohol isn't worth it. Keep at it, keep posting

Briar

It's not worth it. Don't let it romance you.

MyTime86

You'll have those days/weeks were it's really hard. But let me tell you, it's not worth it, I've slipped already two months in and it's such a bummer.

The drunk I though I was going to get never came it was just the same old feelings I hated, then the next morning is even worse realizing I made a huge mistake an have to start over.

Don't give in your doing a great job!

Hefner

You've got 60 days in. I KNOW that means that you've been at this point already. You beat it then you can beat it again. Remember how great it feels waking up victorious. These battles will start to waign and become easier. If you see a Monster out in your driveway doing push ups you don't open the door and let him in do you ? Hang tough friend. YOU'VE GOT THIS !

heartcore

Razor - I read a post Somewhere on here a while back (could never find it again, but maybe someone else will recognize it so you can find the original) - it explained that they did studies with alcoholics/addicts in comas (so super-monitored, no outside influence, totally clean & sober), & discovered that the endorphins dropped all the way down to almost zero on cycles which corresponded with traditional AA milestones (30 d, 60d, 90d, 6m, 9m, 1y) for around 48 hours then surged forward to a higher level than previous.

If this is so, we can anticipate a physical discomfort & craving for a few days at each of those cycles, followed by healing & growth. Plus, it is a strange intuition that the cycles would match AA's, but, heck, those original men were God-inspired, so maybe they tapped onto some universal body chemistry wisdom.

I always get through things more easily if I understand WHY they're happening.

This explanation is from memory, but I was very fascinated by it, so I'm close to accurate...

Hang in there, Razor. I had a off day today too (& I'm not in that endorphin cycle)...

Marcher13

Hour by hour, day by day, a step at a time Razor. Come on to SR when you get cravings and post like you did today, deal with hunger by eating good foods and get plenty of sleep. It really does get better before much longer.

MythOfSisyphus

You can always fail later! Keep pushing ahead. That voice whispering in your ear to drink is a liar- it doesn't have your best interest at heart. Dee is right. It's too early in sobriety to feel the whole benefit yet but long enough in to have forgetting the agony of being powerless. Maybe go back and read some old posts over again to remind yourself why you're here?

Soberwolf

Hi Razor hope this helps

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

goose333

Razor,
Make a list of all the stupid things you did when you were drinking.
Make a list of all the horrible side effects you had to deal with.
Then make a list of all the wonderful changes you've begun to enjoy over the last 60 days.
Then tell you AV, you're not interested.
Stay Busy.

ccam1973

Hang in there razor. I've been having those thoughts too, but keep reminding myself of what drinking brought me in the past and would be waiting for me if I have that first drink... Nothing but pain, mysery, lost memories, wasted money, fights with my wife, giving about 13% effort towards my kids anfd family...

you know the drill. 60 days is fantastic. Please hang in there. So much better on the sober side of life's roller coaster.

Lola23

Hang in there! I will be honest and say I was pretty much exactly where you are. Instead of coming and posting, I made the decision to drink for just that night, and then I would just go back to sobriety like it never happened. Uh...nope.

Please don't make that mistake, a lot of good advice is here. Let us know how you are!

razor15

Thank you all for helping and supporting. I feel even worse this morning but I have no intention to drink today. In fact I know I will not. I need to make it to the gym today. Thanks again, friends. I'll follow up later.

ArtFriend

Working out at the gym always helps. We are here to help you Razor!

nmd

Hey Razor- You are doing awesome with almost 60 days! The gym is a good call. I just find sometimes my mood swings into a more melancholy direction and I need a distraction.