renee18

Today I was talking to one of my Al-Anon friends and when we were done talking she said I love you. This made me eyes water. That was the first time that someone said i love you to me first out loud. My parents do not tell me that they love me. I have to say I love you then they will say I love you. But i don't think it comes from there heart. This really caught me off guard today. I did not know what to say. I just said bye. That brought up a lot of pain today for me. I am still hurting but do not know how to tell that person that said i love you that she made that the happest day of my life and a sad one too?
Love,
Shana

splendra

Shana-

I wish I could look you in the eye and tell you I love you. Cause I really do. Try to understand that your parents probably were raised around people who never displayed and told one another that they loved eachother.

Baby girl we were created to love one another. I am so sorry that your need for love has not been met by your family. But, the good news is you are loved and you are worthy of being loved. I hope you can let yourself believe that. I bet you are just the girl to teach your family a few things about love. I am hoping that you wil look forward instead of back and know that love is yours and you have love in you that is trying to get out. So let it out.

your friend,
Lisa

journeygal

(((((Shana)))))

My mom is the same way. It hurts, doesn't it? But I know my family loves me and I know yours loves you too. And when they say I love you, even if they don't say it first, it comes from the heart. They just don't know how to show it and probably were never taught. I struggled with this for a long, long time. Ok, I guess I'm still struggling with it.

(((((((Lisa)))))))) Your post made me cry. I know it wasn't meant for me, but I needed to hear it. Thanks so much for writing it.

cwohio

shana - i too grew up in a undemonstrative home and still feel a bit akward when anyone shows affection and says they love me altho i have gotten much better over the years. i feel the pain but let that person know how it made you feel, that will help you - it will feel good to verbalize it i think. human touch is necessary and we that haven't had much need it more than ever now - i'm not an not an expert by any means - we all love ya here - hugs

Magichappens

(((shana)))
My Al-Anon group is my "spirit" family. I think I was given a family that I was born into, and then a family that love brought to me. All the things that I had been missing all my life, I have received since I got to Al-Anon. I understand that happy/sad feeling. I had to grieve my old life and let it go before I could accept the new and wonderful gift that was being offered. New things are uncomfortable and scary, even if they are good new things. Give it time and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. You are right where you are supposed to be. Hugs, Magic

renee18

Thanks guys. It is scarey for me to have new feeling and experience something for the first time. I know that I have to let some of those feelings out before the consume me. Thanks and splendra I do need to start believing that I am worthy of being loved and that i can love someone else.
Love,
Shana

splendra

(((((jg)))))-

It was for you too!!!