sad#3

I'm not relieved. I'm heart broken. I had to call the police, this makes the 4th time for a domestic disturbance. The Officer told me that she was telling lies on me that could have gotten me in serious trouble, but he knew she was crazy and not telling the truth. He advised me to never be alone with her for the rest of my life for even 1 minute. I could lose my career and more. She's calling me all day and night telling me how much she loves me (and she does) she's sick. I'm afraid she'll kill herself now and I can only pray that doesn't happen.

killerinstinct

Oh no what happened this time around?? Where are you know where is she now?

lillamy

Hey,

Two things:

One: Just because she chooses to call doesn't mean you have to choose to take the calls. You can block her number and just not have to know that she's calling you. At this point, when you're raw and hurt and in a lot of heartbreak, it may be a good thing to not have to tear the scab off every time she decides to call -- and I believe that's what you're doing when you're talking to her. You have the right to take care of yourself.

Two: If she calls and threatens suicide, and this is advice -- even though we're not supposed to give that -- tell her you're calling 911, hang up, and call 911, give them her address, and tell them she threatened suicide. Chances are she's using suicide threats to manipulate you into letting her back into your life (my AXH did that) -- and when the police and EMTs show up to her house, she'll realize it's not working. If she really is suicidal, you calling 911 will give her the help she needs.

You have a right to protect yourself.
You have a right to protect yourself.
You have a right to protect yourself.

I'm saying that repeatedly because it's a hard concept to get when YOU have been the strong one in a relationship and you feel guilty for not taking care of the crazy disruptive alcoholic. But you do. You have a right. To protect. Yourself.

You have no obligation to her.

FeelingGreat

Sorry Sad. What are your domestic arrangements at the moment? We last heard from you when you were staying in an apartment with her while your daughter was at the house.

biminiblue

Exactly what lillamy said ^^

I would add - that is not love. Love is two healthy people who respect and trust one another. If it is a marriage, that trust is absolute.

Love doesn't get drunk and disrupt.

Love doesn't strike out.



Just don't confuse love with neediness, dependency, insecurity, and mental weakness/illness.

hopeful4

You have gotten good input. I am so sorry. Please take the advise you have been given both here and by the police.

sad#3

Thank you all for the support. Sometimes we need to vent. I have the apartment and she is out so that is good. Next step is filing for divorce. So much fun.

sad#3

Stuck to my guns this time. It's finally over for good. A crazy 8 years it was.

Brindie

Time now to focus on you. Follow the advice above and from the police, get some rest and respite, and block the calls. Get support for yourself, therapist, friends, family - wrap yourself up in as many supportive hugs as you can. Don't be afraid to talk about what you've been through, even though you may have tried to keep it private. A burden shared, as they say ..... Peace to you x

sad#3

God is good. My wife has been set free the bondage of 20 years of alcoholism. She's been free for 3 years now.