Briar

Yesterday I was so tore up and had so much to do around the house (cook, clean, laundry, etc.), I decided to have a drink. Just a little to take the edge off, give me a little energy, clear my head a bit. It worked, I got everything done. I also got roaring drunk, so today I'm at work and hung over again. I feel so stupid. I'm trying to eat little bits of food and drink water, but I really can't get any work done when I'm trying not to throw up. I'm all out of sick time, so I don't want to draw attention to the situation by asking for more time off, but I feel horrible. I can't believe I did this. Why did I do this?! I'm not trying to make excuses or elicit pity, this is my fault. I did this. I'm trying to scrape together the strength to get back on top of it. I just...I don't even know.

least

I had many failures on the road to recovery. Pick yourself up and resolve not to do it again. Use this horrible feeling as incentive not to drink again.

Coldfusion

Why not post here before you drink? Commit to staying sober for the next 24 hours by signing in to the "24-Hour Recovery Connections" thread!

The support you need is all there--you just need to use it.

Barnumb

I feel terrible for you. I hope you can get some help before you get too far out of control. You have a family, a career, a home, kids...all can be gone if you can't get this under control. You are aware of the problem, that is why you have been a member for so long. It is time to commit and quit changing your sobriety date. Have you gone to AA? seek counseling? medical help? Looks like you have too much to lose not to get additional help. We are all here with similar issues to addiction, sometimes the direct approach works. We are all for you and wish you well.

Soberwolf

You said it worked i got everything sorted yet you feel like this ? did it work really ?

Furthermore you dont need alcohol to do housework or any task for that matter

i would reread your post again but focus on the first 6 words ..yesterday I was so tore up

Your going to need a plan for when its on you like that

read this and print it off so you always have it http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

have you tried Aa

Anna

So, what can you do next time you feel like having a drink? Can you a good and realistic plan in order?

Good for you for coming back and working on your recovery again.

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back. Fall down 100 times, get up 101.

So you ask why you did this, you might be able to answer your own question. What is ( or was ) your sobriety plan going into yesterday? Do you have local support? Do you have a scheduled daily routine to either go to a meeting or do something to further your sobriety? If not, re-think and add/adjust as necessary.

Nonsensical

Aaaaahhhh, the old I have so much to do, booze will soothe me and make it easier ploy. I fell for that one a few times myself. It's a lie my addiction to alcohol likes to tell me.

Hope you feel better soon.

PurpleKnight

For me I had to cut out that 1st drink, myself and controlling my drinking were simply incompatible.

Life has been looking up ever since I parted ways with alcohol on a permanent basis and accepted it was all in!!

Hawks

I know that feeling... A couple of drinks to get my head together worked beautifully... I could plow through the yard work on a Saturday afternoon.... Then a couple more drinks as a reward for my good work.

Physical craving / allergy kicks and I'm off... 12-15 beers later, pass out on the couch, come to and Sunday morning isn't shaping up too well... In fact Sunday is completely written off.

It's a crappy cycle.

I hope you can break your cycle soon.

Notmyrealname

Did you think it was going to end differently? Or did you not consider the endgame at all?

It's sort of like a truck parked on a hill. Taking the block out from under the wheel is a bad idea, that truck will start accelerating under the influence of gravity, slowly at first, but by the time it gets to the bottom it's going like a bat out of hell, and watch out below.

That first drink isn't just one drink, it's a small act with a chain of big consequences attached. You're not buying a $7 scotch and soda or whatever, you're buying 6-7 other drinks to follow that one, plus a massive hangover, and whatever other collateral consequences occur.

dcrr

It is a vicious, snowball-effect cycle. Come on here and talk to the good people at SR when the AV starts driving you nuts again. It's awesome you are ready to try again. You can do it!

pivotalplains

What a perfect way to look at it. I'm new to recovery, and the way you put it is such a great (and completely honest) way to talk yourself down from the 'but it's just one drink' rationalization that we all find ourselves falling into at one point or another.

Thank you, I think we can all benefit from keeping your point in mind when the AV starts whispering in our ear.

Ellay

This could be the last time you ever feel like this.

ZeldaFan

I had seven months sober and decided one little drink couldn't hurt. That was in June. The chain of events that followed lasted months. Finally, I'm back in a mental place where I'm reevaluating my plan to get back on track. Those seven months sober were amazing and full of so much productivity and positivity. Keep at it and try to have some plan in place before the next time that one drink idea starts to gain traction.

Yssa

I think you just need time, it takes time for every thing. But you might need to have a plan about your routine. And I suggest you might want not to give or provide reasons for yourself to have a drink, so you can prevent drinking and having hung over again. So good luck and have a nice day/night without getting drunk. Cheers!

MavisTheFairy13

I've messed up too. Let's start again. We can do this!