FreeOwl

Sometimes my social media feeds throw up photo after photo on a Sunday morning of all the events I wasn't part of on a Saturday night.

It can engender a bit of melancholy, seeing friends out at get togethers I wasn't a part of. Part of it is being sober and avoiding those situations. Part of it is not even being invited because I've not shown up or am not part of the drinking / partying circles.

But mostly this morning it is reminding me that I need to bolster my social interactions outside of my relationship and family.

We need a 'tribe'. We are social creatures, even those of us prone to a need for solitude.

So today and this week I will take some actions to increase my connections. Get out and be with friends.

Fishcakes4

I was a slave to social media as well as alcohol, to make sure I stay sober, I deleted my facebook, twitter, etc. the only social media outlets I'm on now are this and a hysterectomy board, thats it. I deleted my fb so I don't see that stuff until I am sober long enough and ready to, if people are truly concerned about me or my friend there are other ways to get in contact with me. For myself, I feel that fb and the like are hindrances to my sobriety, being overally social was my downfall.

ETA also, me being sober has shown me who my real friends are and who were just my social drinking buddies. I do not miss going out with all those people who didn't give one sh*t that I was in the hospital for a week and starting rehab.

ArtFriend

If you have a addictive personality to begin with, social media can also become addictive. I quit FB on Oct 1 and don't miss it at all. I had a love/hate relationship with it anyway. And I am still in touch with people who are my "true" friends, not the sister of a friend's cousin. LOL!

Yay for REAL people and REAL interaction!! Woot!

Lusher

Hey FreeOwl-
This has been the toughest part of my battle, so I know exactly where you're coming from. Part of me feels as if I'm missing out on so much.

I was a pretty outgoing, social 'party guy', not too long ago. I noticed that after I stopped drinking, the calls that I use to get to go out diminished quickly, however I understood why. When I drank, I'd never really wanted to hang around the non-drinkers either, if it was a 'night on the town.' They're <we're> sort of boring, if everybody else is buzzed and acting silly. I've come to realize that it's just the price I have to pay for being the way that I am.

As more time went on, I did, and still do, find other non-booze fun stuff. However, as a person who only stopped 14 months ago and as a a person whose life pretty revolved around alcohol, it is still a challenge.

Ythill

FB is the only one I still hold on to because it's the only way people can get a hold of me most of the time. I agree, though. It's just another excuse to treat loneliness with isolation. I haven't deleted it for more than a few weeks at a time, but it's making me resentful. I tend to compare rather than identify, and as an alcoholic, that's poison.

PurpleKnight

Yeah can be tough seeing all of those things over the weekend.

But then I think at least I'm not apart of those hangover announcements people also make in the mornings too!!

herradura

Ditto to what Lusher wrote. I have found that I dont go to as many "social functions" anymore, and I am good with that. I always wondered what normal people do, people who don't drink too much. The longer I stay away from booze the more I am finding out that often these people who don't get drunk all the time are pretty dang happy. They do crazy things like go for walks n parks, have friends over to visit instead of getting face down. They take their kids to movies, watch their kids games and sports without wanting to get away after the game to get hammered. They read books, and go to seminars on history, all sorts of wild and crazy stuff. I have a long way to go, but the journey is well worth the time and effort.

I too had no social contacts who did not drink, and drink a lot. I did not want to hang out with boring people who never let loose. I have found you can let loose doing many things that don't hurt your body and soul. Best part is there is no remorse, no self loathing, and no waking in the night calling for the old,,,, "I have to stop drinking". Instead you just get up and get on with your day.

Wastinglife

While I spent a good 5-6 years in throes of alcoholism, most of my friends got married, had children, and moved to suburbia. FB is all about baby pics and kids soccer games now. I am not missing out on social gatherings amongst my old circles but I missing out on life in general in comparison.

I deactivated my FB acct a few months ago mainly because it was a constant reminder of how alcohol derailed my life and it forces me to endlessly compare my life to others.
Now, I know FB is just the good stuff people want you to see, but I was left with nothing but 2 suitcases of clothes so everyone's life seems better in comparison haha.

That was the old me. FB represented the old me. I now only focus on my future and the new person I am.

heartcore

Because I had unhealthy tendencies with internet romance, when I returned to AA after my relapse, someone I respect in the program suggested I go sober from my cyber world for the first year. It was dangerous for me not so much because of regretting the past or feeling different, but because of my future creating and how easy it was to actualize that with men who didn't know me & who drank heavily.

It was almost physically uncomfortable at first, my withdrawal from my Internet addiction. I was lonely, and had to accept & build upon the reality of my life. I made friends in sobriety, I have friends in sobriety, I went to many meetings, I didn't drift away from sobriety into the easy arms of a stranger who knew a false me.

It was some of the best advice I've gotten. Changed everything. I allow myself SR & work. That's it. Now I'm left with simply me & my sober life. It helped me work toward an actual contentment.