dcrr

I have been debating with myself as to whether or not I should post this. I am very embarrassed about it. How would this situation best be handled?

I am currently in an employment training program at a college. I have been here for a few months and will remain here until just before Christmas.It only took a short time before I began hanging out with the drinkers in my class. 3 days ago, the last time I had a binge, I got angry at my classmate for no reason. I was swearing, calling him every name in the book and picking a fight. Luckily for me he turned the other cheek and there was no physical confrontation. After a few hours sleep, I saw him (we are in the same class, I see him every day of the week). I apologized several times. I have felt nothing but guilt and shame since it happened.

Things are awkward now and I am sure the rest of my classmates know what kind of a drunk I was. I am sure I have lost everyones respect. I know I should forgive myself, but it also feels like that is "sweeping it under the rug". I know I deserve to feel this way, I acted in such a disgusting pathetic way to someone who quite frankly showed tremendous poise and maturity. Yet I really want to move past this.
Tomorrow is Monday and I have this great anxiety and fear of feeling like I will be on day 1 again.

ScottFromWI

The solution is to be true to yourself and not drink today. While you cannot undo what you have done, your actions going forward will say more than any words or apologies will. And while it sounds cliche, it will take time. There is no magic solution to undo what has transpired.

dcrr

Thanks Scott

Elodie

Yeah, that's a tough situation.

There's nothing you can do to fix this situation and make things normal again immediately. Use it as motivation to never pick up a drink again. Be a person of integrity and humility, and maybe over time, this unfortunate incident will fade from people's memories.

Control what you can control. Learn to live with what you can't.

MavisTheFairy13

Only look back to see how far you have come.

I love that quote. You can't change what happened, you've apologised and now all you can do is move forward. Could you organise a night out with them that doesn't involve alcohol? Just focus on doing the best you can today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow never arrives

VikingGF

This too, shall pass. Your behavior will speak for itself, and when you look back on this one day, it will just be a blip. A learning experience for sure, but just a blip.

Stay strong, be yourself and it will all be ok.

Soberwolf

In time with the longer you stay sober things will get a lot better you will regain ppl's confidence in you

i have big faith in that my friend do what you can for the day and let the rest just be we onlyhave now

you can do this

ScooterBoo

I agree with all the posters above. Use this as a starting point. Good luck!

courage2

^^^ ditto. The only way you can handle it is to just be there, be sober, and endure. In the long run a sober you will be able to repair a lot of damage to relationships, but you can only start by not running from them to a drink. Good luck tomorrow, don't drink, and treat yourself to something sweet when the day is done!

Wastinglife

I can relate. As my tolerance for alcohol increased over the years, I needed more and more to get that buzz we all chase. I was drinking to black-out stage a few times a week and when I hit a certain level of intoxication, I am a ticking time-bomb. I will explode in anger at the slightest provocation or perceived slight.

In these drunken rages, I have 'lost it' on friends, girlfriends, family members, and complete strangers. I turn into a monster for no apparent reason. People tell me that one minute I am chilled out and apparently enjoying myself and a split second later I am a raging lunatic. I have spent many a night in jail cells as a result.

I look at as though I have an allergy to alcohol. It affects me in a way it doesn't most people. I can't stop once I start and then I lose control of my thoughts and actions when I cross a certain threshold.

The only way to stop these embarrassing incidents is to cut out the alcohol.

Duffster

I've been there. You can get past this and gain your colleague's respect again - it just takes a little time. But it will happen again, and again, and yet again if you continue to drink.

dcrr

Thank you to all for your advice. I don't feel so alone about this. ( I feel slightly teary eyed). My resolve to never drink again has been strengthened and I will face tomorrow with humility and acceptance. I never want to experience this again as long as I live.

luvmygirls

Good for you..."humility and acceptance" is a great way to approach this. I'm sure it seems completely overwhelming and insurmountable now, but hopefully soon it will be a powerful memory of the event that finally made you change for good. Take care, we are here for you friend!

Dee74

Some great advice here dcrr. I think things will be a lot better than you fear

awuh1

I have one additional idea.

IMO it's one thing to make an apology, and it's another to make things right. Sometimes these are the same thing, but often they are not.

Ask him. Ask him how you can make it right. If he has no idea, then ask him to think about it. Tell him that making it right is what you sincerely want and that he need only tell you what to do. Then DO IT!

Sometimes people who have been wronged say "no that's ok, forget about it". If so, you have done what you can.

If you still feel really bad about it, I have some other suggestions, but do that first.

dcrr

I agree with you 100%. I did ask him twice when I apologized on two separate occasions (once in the morning and a longer version in the evening) if there is anything I can do to make up for my actions. He said 'it is what it is - you don't need to do anything. I'm sure it won't ever happen again'. He was right about the latter but I still feel like I should do something. Feeling the way I do about what happened doesn't help him any.

awuh1

Well my first thought would be to volunteer your time for a program that deals with bullying in the schools. That might be difficult to find. So perhaps some volunteer work on a playground. As you do the work you can consider what you would say to a bully which you might catch in the act. Well crafted words which might stick with him, and perhaps prevent him from doing that same thing in the future.

Life involves give and take. Sometimes you have to give back more than you take, just to make sure the world is a little better place than when you found it.

Take care.

PurpleKnight

We can't rewrite the past, but we hold the pen to write the next chapter to our future!!

The more time that passes and people can see real change, then that will speak volumes.

Don't beat yourself up, focus on another day to be Sober and be the person you want to be moving forward!!

Fly N Buy

Most here aren't bad people we've just done some bad things. Forgive yourself, stay sober and keep truckin. Learn from it!

I found now when I behave poorly - yep, still happens at times - go figure,
Stating I was wrong when I ......

Then I let the other person speak and see if there's a way I can make it up. Some may stay mad wanting the feeling of superiority. That's fine, I am cleared - now it's no longer my issue.

Keep your side if the street cleaned, admit when wrong and live life!

You'll be fine....
Peace
Fly

Hevyn

I'm really glad you wanted to talk it over dcrr.

I put myself in that situation many times - with co-workers & family too. Every time I picked up I became my evil twin - that was one reason I didn't dare keep drinking. As the others have said, over time the memory of what happened will dim. As the 'real' dcrr steps forward and stays straight - everything will fall into place. I think you should hold your head up and allow yourself to rise above this. It sounds like you've apologized enough. You're doing great.