MarathonMan

Feels so hopeless, 46 days gone....not sure i'll win this fight.

least

You can win this fight. Don't let the addict dictate to your rational mind. Stop drinking now and start over again. It doesn't matter if you fall down, as long as you get back up.

Soberwolf

Hi Marathon man you can do this have a look at what went wrong write up a revised plan and take it from there

you can do it 46 days was 46 days

roootin for you good luck

PurpleKnight

The battle may be lost, but the war is far from over!!

You CAN do this!!

Findingtheway

Do NOT give up! Get back up!

We're all here to help you. I'm here to help!

Get back up! Don't say you can't do it!

enfinthechange

Its a 46:1 ratio and now you can make it more! Just keep in with what you were doing, one slip up isnt everything lost....

Aellyce

What happened, MarathonMan? Anything specific triggered it, or you just wanted to drink?

ScottFromWI

For me, acceptance was what made the difference. Acceptance of the simple fact that I cannot drink at all, ever...and being ok with that. I fought with countless different moderation plans and tried to continually convince myself that "this time" I would only have one or two, but it never worked. When you simply accept that drinking is not an option, there is nothing to fight.

MarathonMan

Nothing specific,just cant stay away, Im to weak....no child deserves a dad like me.

luvmygirls

You can do this! Can you explain what happened? We are here for you.

MarathonMan

Scott...i so wish I could accept this, im desperate to learn a way to cope but its like my brain is broken

Findingtheway

I used to think like this. I had 54 days...drank for 2...Disaster followed.
I stopped again for 30 days...drank for 2...Ended up in the HOSPITAL this time.
Now AGAIN I've stopped for 22 days this time.

Those days aren't GONE. They are days I've lived and enjoy sober.
I lived them. They happened. The other days of drinking don't ERASE them.

Your 46 days aren't GONE. You can learn/build from them. What happened to cause you to drink today? What type of thoughts did you have? Was there any resistance/thought of reaching out before the action?

Don't give up!

LizH

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers today!

PurpleKnight

But a child does deserve a dad, and YOU deserve more than where alcohol leads to!!

SR has your back!!

Stevie1

You're not weak, you're an addict. I think everyone here can identify with your feelings. Having a pity party might feel good right now but in the long run it won't do your better self (and yes, you have a better self) any good at all.

One thing that has really helped me identifying triggers and guarding against relapses are the worksheets on SMARTrecovery. There ARE absolutely specific thoughts and circumstances that lead to relapse but it can take some work to identify them.

AA might be another helpful tool for you, have you tried that route?
Getting and staying sober is HARD WORK. I know you can do this!

PS, don't forget to congratulate yourself big time for your 46 days! They're not "gone", you did that and you should take credit for it. Focus on that instead of your relapse. You KNOW you can do it again, and more.

ScottFromWI

Have you tried AA? Or any other meeting based recovery? How about counseling? Desperate times require extraordinary efforts on our parts.

Anyone (which means you too!) can achieve sobriety If they want it enough and take the necessary action.

MarathonMan

Scott, ive been doing 2-3, meetings per week...maybe I need to step it up to 90 in 90.

Gottalife

2-3 meetings a week for a family man seems quite reasonable, as long as it is understood that meetings alone don't always bring about recovery. Maybe some action on the steps would make a difference.

Mrrryah1

Oh goodness.

I feel ya.

I'm not sure if you saw my recent post.

But know you are not alone.

Once we get through the first couple days, it gets alot better.

You can do this.

ScottFromWI

Do you have a sponsor? Are you earnestly working steps? I'm not an regular AA person, but with any plan the bulk of the responsibility lies with us to make sure we are doing everyting we can. Don't answer here, but ask yourself if you are doing everything you can to succeed at sobriety,