Newbie, go easy ...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Belgium
Posts: 2
Newbie, go easy ...
Hello,
Not sure where to start really. Have never done this before, being a strong, independent woman & all that. It's been over 5 years now & am emotionally strung out. What happened to the sensitive, creative, beautiful man I married 16 years ago & have been with for 25 years? That's half my life.
We lost our firstborn son shortly after birth, Jan 6th, 2001. The grief we endured then is only matched by the loss & grief am feeling now. He was so strong then, he carried me through. Now it's blame, hate, distance, sexual acting out with other women & everything that he never was.
Our living children are 10 & 12. They have seen everything, including my daughter seeing him drinking his naggin of brandy in bed in the morning & quickly hiding it under his pillow. The stories are many. Maybe get to them later, too upset right now. Sorry.
Not sure where to start really. Have never done this before, being a strong, independent woman & all that. It's been over 5 years now & am emotionally strung out. What happened to the sensitive, creative, beautiful man I married 16 years ago & have been with for 25 years? That's half my life.
We lost our firstborn son shortly after birth, Jan 6th, 2001. The grief we endured then is only matched by the loss & grief am feeling now. He was so strong then, he carried me through. Now it's blame, hate, distance, sexual acting out with other women & everything that he never was.
Our living children are 10 & 12. They have seen everything, including my daughter seeing him drinking his naggin of brandy in bed in the morning & quickly hiding it under his pillow. The stories are many. Maybe get to them later, too upset right now. Sorry.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 577
Welcome, Han. Lots of support here, it can help you loads.
Check the Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
section especially.
You're not alone!
Check the Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
section especially.
You're not alone!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I'm sorry for the pain you've endured and are going through... as is he.
I hope you will find some support and comfort here, some insight and some guidance too.
And I hope that your husband sees the light of hope at some point soon, and chooses sobriety instead of the merry-go-round to the seven hells he is on.
One thought I will offer.... you said;
"What happened to the sensitive, creative, beautiful man I married 16 years ago & have been with for 25 years? That's half my life."
It sounds from your post like what happened to that man is he became overpowered by alcohol. Within the shell of the man you see waking to a bottle is the beautiful man you married, crouching in grief and shame and hopelessness, wanting desperately to step back into the light but being beaten into his corner by the addicted, addled mind of the man caught in his alcoholic cycle.
I hope you will find some support and comfort here, some insight and some guidance too.
And I hope that your husband sees the light of hope at some point soon, and chooses sobriety instead of the merry-go-round to the seven hells he is on.
One thought I will offer.... you said;
"What happened to the sensitive, creative, beautiful man I married 16 years ago & have been with for 25 years? That's half my life."
It sounds from your post like what happened to that man is he became overpowered by alcohol. Within the shell of the man you see waking to a bottle is the beautiful man you married, crouching in grief and shame and hopelessness, wanting desperately to step back into the light but being beaten into his corner by the addicted, addled mind of the man caught in his alcoholic cycle.
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