Why do I feel that detox clinics are social gatherings 2 meet up with alcoholics?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
Why do I feel that detox clinics are social gatherings 2 meet up with alcoholics?
I don't see the logic or reasoning....My husband is in a detox clinical part of a major hospital. When I attend the family and patient meetings, there seems to me to be spirit of fun, games, and a general lack of seriousness on the members part. It's like they are saying: "I can't wait till this meeting is over so we can talk about what we like best, ALCOHOL AND DRUGS!" And then before their 1 week to a month tenure is over, I feel like they exchange numbers and addresses for the sole purpose of meeting up again to start back drinking and taking drugs.
Am I being unreasonable in my thinking? Is it just my imagination why I'm feeling this way? Please help me to understand. Your insightful advice will be highly appreciated.
Am I being unreasonable in my thinking? Is it just my imagination why I'm feeling this way? Please help me to understand. Your insightful advice will be highly appreciated.
Hi and welcome ssenteews
I've never been in detox or rehab so I have no idea what they're like.
I understand your resentment, but to be honest I think I'd rather see my loved one happy than sick and miserable?
There are sick, unrecovered folks everywhere.
I hope your loved one is there for the right reasons and that he uses this as the chance to turn his life around for good
Best wishes to you both
D
I've never been in detox or rehab so I have no idea what they're like.
I understand your resentment, but to be honest I think I'd rather see my loved one happy than sick and miserable?
There are sick, unrecovered folks everywhere.
I hope your loved one is there for the right reasons and that he uses this as the chance to turn his life around for good
Best wishes to you both
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 155
I got out of rehab a month ago. The work and meetings are very serious. When you're cooped up for a month learning how to be sober, it is only natural to make friends and enjoy some levity. There are some people who are in rehabilitation by force and don't take advantage of the opportunity but plenty are serious. I have 54 days today and a big reason for that are the friends I made in rehab. We talk on the phone or text and encourage each other.
I can understand your fears but don't jump to conclusions. Hopefully these friends will be part of a network of support. You will remain his key supporter. Good luck
I can understand your fears but don't jump to conclusions. Hopefully these friends will be part of a network of support. You will remain his key supporter. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 73
I don't see the logic or reasoning....My husband is in a detox clinical part of a major hospital. When I attend the family and patient meetings, there seems to me to be spirit of fun, games, and a general lack of seriousness on the members part. It's like they are saying: "I can't wait till this meeting is over so we can talk about what we like best, ALCOHOL AND DRUGS!" And then before their 1 week to a month tenure is over, I feel like they exchange numbers and addresses for the sole purpose of meeting up again to start back drinking and taking drugs.
Am I being unreasonable in my thinking? Is it just my imagination why I'm feeling this way? Please help me to understand. Your insightful advice will be highly appreciated.
Am I being unreasonable in my thinking? Is it just my imagination why I'm feeling this way? Please help me to understand. Your insightful advice will be highly appreciated.
Some people are court ordered and/or advised by their lawyer, and some people you meet will have the not serious about recovery vibe to them.
Other people you meet, in group or in general at a treatment center will take their recovery as a life of death situation and approach it with 100% commitment.
I didnt go through detox, but am part of AA. Our meetings are often funny & happy, we spend time outside meetings having fun, and we build friendships that are a balance of a support network & just happy, healthy friendships.
I wonder why you think that the purpose of getting contact info is to use together. I'm sure some folks relapse together, but in many, many years of being involved in sobriety I have NEVER had another member call me to suggest that we take drugs or drink together!
I would suggest that you talk about this discomfort in your support group (Alanon,etc). Your man will need to build sober friendships to stay sober, and you'll have to find some way to feel safe as he does so. In early sobriety, quite a bit of time will be dedicated
to fellowship. Some of it will be fun & joyous for him. You will have to create joy in your own life & build social circles that make you happy so that this doesn't make you feel left out. (equalize the fun!)
I wonder why you think that the purpose of getting contact info is to use together. I'm sure some folks relapse together, but in many, many years of being involved in sobriety I have NEVER had another member call me to suggest that we take drugs or drink together!
I would suggest that you talk about this discomfort in your support group (Alanon,etc). Your man will need to build sober friendships to stay sober, and you'll have to find some way to feel safe as he does so. In early sobriety, quite a bit of time will be dedicated
to fellowship. Some of it will be fun & joyous for him. You will have to create joy in your own life & build social circles that make you happy so that this doesn't make you feel left out. (equalize the fun!)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
Hi and welcome ssenteews
I've never been in detox or rehab so I have no idea what they're like.
I understand your resentment, but to be honest I think I'd rather see my loved one happy than sick and miserable?
There are sick, unrecovered folks everywhere.
I hope your loved one is there for the right reasons and that he uses this as the chance to turn his life around for good
Best wishes to you both
D
I've never been in detox or rehab so I have no idea what they're like.
I understand your resentment, but to be honest I think I'd rather see my loved one happy than sick and miserable?
There are sick, unrecovered folks everywhere.
I hope your loved one is there for the right reasons and that he uses this as the chance to turn his life around for good
Best wishes to you both
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
Thank you Taking5 for asking that question. When my father and I visited my husband today at the detox clinic for lunch, I overheard a group at the table next to ours talking about how alcohol and drugs made them feel good and took away the pain in their life. I just figured they are working up on waiting to be released from the clinic to start back on their bad habit of drinking and using drugs. My husband does not need to be around such conversations....It is very disheartening to me Taking5.
The reality is drugs and alcohol DO take away the pain of life. Until they become the pain itself. Part of treatment is learning how to deal with painful situations and emotions without the drug/drink. Addicts have to learn tools to cope - they've always used something outside themselves.
We cannot control what our loved one hears or says or to whom he speaks.
You would find Al Anon very helpful for yourself - learn about the problem and what you can do to make this easier for you.
We cannot control what our loved one hears or says or to whom he speaks.
You would find Al Anon very helpful for yourself - learn about the problem and what you can do to make this easier for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 58
I've been in detox twice, a 30 day and then a decade later a 60 day. In both cases the daily course work was usually very serious. However during breaks and at the end of the day people would hang out and cut loose a bit. It was pretty normal for people to exchange "war stories" about their addiction. It's just something that everyone there has in common and when a group of strangers get together in close quarters it's pretty normal to speak about shared experiences. As an addict it was always taboo to talk about my extensive use around people that didn't understand. In a detox environment everyone there, well most everyone, can understand, listen, and not judge. Sometimes it takes the edge off a bit in a detox environment to joke around a bit about the ridiculous life you have been living. You can't spend all day every day for 30 days beating yourself up constantly. Rehab is about healing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
I didnt go through detox, but am part of AA. Our meetings are often funny & happy, we spend time outside meetings having fun, and we build friendships that are a balance of a support network & just happy, healthy friendships.
I wonder why you think that the purpose of getting contact info is to use together. I'm sure some folks relapse together, but in many, many years of being involved in sobriety I have NEVER had another member call me to suggest that we take drugs or drink together!
I would suggest that you talk about this discomfort in your support group (Alanon,etc). Your man will need to build sober friendships to stay sober, and you'll have to find some way to feel safe as he does so. In early sobriety, quite a bit of time will be dedicated
to fellowship. Some of it will be fun & joyous for him. You will have to create joy in your own life & build social circles that make you happy so that this doesn't make you feel left out. (equalize the fun!)
I wonder why you think that the purpose of getting contact info is to use together. I'm sure some folks relapse together, but in many, many years of being involved in sobriety I have NEVER had another member call me to suggest that we take drugs or drink together!
I would suggest that you talk about this discomfort in your support group (Alanon,etc). Your man will need to build sober friendships to stay sober, and you'll have to find some way to feel safe as he does so. In early sobriety, quite a bit of time will be dedicated
to fellowship. Some of it will be fun & joyous for him. You will have to create joy in your own life & build social circles that make you happy so that this doesn't make you feel left out. (equalize the fun!)
My sponsor is a director at a rehab. Strictly forbidden for members of the opposite sex to be fraternizing . Patients are encouraged to get temporary sponsors while they are in treatment.
Did your husband volunteer to go? When, people go only to appease loved ones, places of employment, courts etc. often times there is resentments.
The success of maintaining sobriety dramatically increases when, the individual involved recognizes their substance abuse problem.
Did your husband volunteer to go? When, people go only to appease loved ones, places of employment, courts etc. often times there is resentments.
The success of maintaining sobriety dramatically increases when, the individual involved recognizes their substance abuse problem.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
The reality is drugs and alcohol DO take away the pain of life. Until they become the pain itself. Part of treatment is learning how to deal with painful situations and emotions without the drug/drink. Addicts have to learn tools to cope - they've always used something outside themselves.
We cannot control what our loved one hears or says or to whom he speaks.
You would find Al Anon very helpful for yourself - learn about the problem and what you can do to make this easier for you.
We cannot control what our loved one hears or says or to whom he speaks.
You would find Al Anon very helpful for yourself - learn about the problem and what you can do to make this easier for you.
I have not been to rehab but I have heard from countless people here who have and I surely do not have the impression of it that you do.
I also remember my early weeks of recovery and the last thing I was looking for was a social gathering of any kind.
I would however, have greatly appreciated contact phone numbers from people who could offer me support.
Please keep in mind that alcoholism is not a character flaw. It's a disease. And, those of us who recover, work long and hard to do so.
I also remember my early weeks of recovery and the last thing I was looking for was a social gathering of any kind.
I would however, have greatly appreciated contact phone numbers from people who could offer me support.
Please keep in mind that alcoholism is not a character flaw. It's a disease. And, those of us who recover, work long and hard to do so.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
My sponsor is a director at a rehab. Strictly forbidden for members of the opposite sex to be fraternizing . Patients are encouraged to get temporary sponsors while they are in treatment.
Did your husband volunteer to go? When, people go only to appease loved ones, places of employment, courts etc. often times there is resentments.
The success of maintaining sobriety dramatically increases when, the individual involved recognizes their substance abuse problem.
Did your husband volunteer to go? When, people go only to appease loved ones, places of employment, courts etc. often times there is resentments.
The success of maintaining sobriety dramatically increases when, the individual involved recognizes their substance abuse problem.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
I have not been to rehab but I have heard from countless people here who have and I surely do not have the impression of it that you do.
I also remember my early weeks of recovery and the last thing I was looking for was a social gathering of any kind.
I would however, have greatly appreciated contact phone numbers from people who could offer me support.
Please keep in mind that alcoholism is not a character flaw. It's a disease. And, those of us who recover, work long and hard to do so.
I also remember my early weeks of recovery and the last thing I was looking for was a social gathering of any kind.
I would however, have greatly appreciated contact phone numbers from people who could offer me support.
Please keep in mind that alcoholism is not a character flaw. It's a disease. And, those of us who recover, work long and hard to do so.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
I've been in detox twice, a 30 day and then a decade later a 60 day. In both cases the daily course work was usually very serious. However during breaks and at the end of the day people would hang out and cut loose a bit. It was pretty normal for people to exchange "war stories" about their addiction. It's just something that everyone there has in common and when a group of strangers get together in close quarters it's pretty normal to speak about shared experiences. As an addict it was always taboo to talk about my extensive use around people that didn't understand. In a detox environment everyone there, well most everyone, can understand, listen, and not judge. Sometimes it takes the edge off a bit in a detox environment to joke around a bit about the ridiculous life you have been living. You can't spend all day every day for 30 days beating yourself up constantly. Rehab is about healing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 73
As a person who has been in multiple inpatient rehabs in the past, the best way to put it is "every place is different"
Some people are court ordered and/or advised by their lawyer, and some people you meet will have the not serious about recovery vibe to them.
Other people you meet, in group or in general at a treatment center will take their recovery as a life of death situation and approach it with 100% commitment.
Some people are court ordered and/or advised by their lawyer, and some people you meet will have the not serious about recovery vibe to them.
Other people you meet, in group or in general at a treatment center will take their recovery as a life of death situation and approach it with 100% commitment.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)