so2014

Two full weeks sober - longest time in 5 years (longest time ever = one month). Feeling great, sleeping better, nicer to my kids, missing alcohol terribly but I know it's bringing me down. And then I walked right into my bar (in my house) tonight and did 2 shots of rum. Without even thinking about it. Don't even like rum. It's like my body was on auto-pilot. (We still have alcohol in house. Husband said he'd move it, but hasn't yet. He doesn't want to throw it all away because we literally have hundreds of dollars of alcohol and it seems like a waste of $$, especially since he doesn't have a problem and has 1 drink at most. But I'm thinking maybe he's going to need to hide it from me. How sad is that??)

I'm so mad at myself for throwing myself back to day 1. I've been going to AA meetings (although can't go as much this week as the past two, as husband has a business meeting/dinner every night this week . . .) Am going to try to go to a daytime meeting tomorrow. Problem is I don't need or want a drink at 10 a.m. It hits me at 4.

So I'd love to hear from someone who relapsed a time or two in the early weeks and then finally made it long term. I'm beating myself up thinking I'm never going to make it long term, even though I really, really want to. And I was feeling so good!

Don't think I had enough to have a hang-over tomorrow, which is good, except that it will convince my AV that I can have a drink or two without a problem .. . .SHUT UP AV!

luvmygirls

I am NOT one to be giving advice, but I just wanted to chime in and say, don't be too hard on yourself. I was thinking the same thing about having alcohol in the house...it's readily available which is bad, but I can't see pouring it out. However, I can see locking it up, which may be an option for you too?

I'm in the same boat as you, the longest I made it sober was a little over 2 weeks but my "slips" haven't been enough for a hangover or any negative consquences...YET. You can do this. 2 drinks is not the end of the world, you did the right thing by posting here and you can talk it through in AA. I'm sure you will get some actual advice, just wanted to chime in and support you. You can do this.

Soberwolf

As harsh as this sounds i would get rid of all Alcohol in the house even if it cost a million bucks

Your worth more

Having the idea of hiding it in the house is a very bad idea i know you mean well but i really think get rid of all alcohol in the home it will really help not having any in the house

Sorry if my approach seems harsh i have your best interests at heart

leviathan

obviously, this issue is different for everyone. I really believe there is a "hump" to get over. depending on how often your accustomed to drinking, neuro-chemicals take a while to get back in order. I felt everything change radically at the three month point. this was a general feeling of being "stable" as far as depression/anxiety that seemed independent of sobriety work (meetings,etc.).

this is a big old debate, but I recommend that anyone in the early stage they to eat well, sleep, well, reduce caffeine, reduce exposure (the bar), and take time-outs if they find themselves getting upset. a lot of folks limit the sugar, but I could not even think about that in the early stage. im much better with the "candy problem" now at about 8 months.

maybe the booze collection will be something you can deal with at some point. maybe not. you should get it out for the time being.

PurpleKnight

What is wrong? you are addicted to alcohol!!

I went round and round in circles for a long time, and what I learnt was simply taking alcohol out of my life didn't work.

Instead I needed new routines, new activities, a new lifestyle, change up who I hung out with and what places I went to, it was a complete new life I was trying to create to make it work.

Simply removing alcohol, left me with a whole lot of time with nothing to do, I became alone with my own thoughts, and that was a recipe for disaster, it ended only one way!!

. . . and having support was key, something to get me outside of my own mind, my addicted mind that wanted to drink, something to short circuit those habits, those routines!!

You can do this!!

so2014

Good advice guys. Am going to box up the booze and tell hubby to hide it or put it in his trunk or something. I just need it out of the house for now.

Did talk to my sponsor today (new sponsor) so that is good, and I'll go to meetings and just forgive myself for this slip. It was just so dumb.

Soberwolf

The important thing is your trying

well done

least

I think it would be helpful if there were no alcohol in your house.

I did the same thing, over and over, until I finally had enough and quit for good.

ghostdad

It sounds like you have a supportive husband. To demonstrate your control over alcohol and not the opposite you should take pleasure in pouring every single drop of every single bottle down the drain.

MIRecovery

If you had a fatal peanut allergy would you keep peanuts in the house? I see no difference with alcohol.

We have to be willing to go to any lengths

ClubMedGrad

"Without even thinking about it."

Yikes.

You need to remain vigilant. You can't let your sobriety go, not even for a minute. You have to hold one to it for dear life.

I've had two slips since I started in August, and I'm determined, absolutely determined to think about my sobriety every minute, because for me, that's what it is going to take.

Next time you want a drink, log in and read.

FreeOwl

yep.... been there. Except for me it was "EFF IT!!" and drive on autopilot right to the liquor store, cursing my actions even as I did it....

I don't know if I've made it "long term" but I'm almost 10 months into sobriety and feeling better and better about it. I don't have alcohol in the house now, but I would be able to. I have had it in the house from time to time but in the very early days there was no way I'd have taken that risk to make it that easy to succumb to an impulse like what you're describing.

I'd say maybe you could ask your husband to just pack it up and put it away somewhere. If he doesn't drink much then he won't miss it and it will help you get some better foundation under your sobriety.

jryan19982

Hey I tripped up after just under 2 weeks. And now I am on a streak of over 4 weeks... I just had to figure out why I did it and how to fix it. I found my triggers and learned to avoid them.

IOAA2

[QUOTE=so2014;4966438]Problem is I don't need or want a drink at 10 a.m. It hits me at 4.

So I'd love to hear from someone who relapsed a time or two in the early weeks and then finally made it long term. I'm beating myself up thinking I'm never going to make it long term, even though I really, really want to. And I was feeling so good!

[QUOTE]

Hi.
My drinking was usually starting around 4 PM also. When I finally got a few days together I seemed to have my strongest obsession to drink around 4PM. An old timer suggested that perhaps my body had gotten used to fluid intake around that time period and was thirsty. I started drinking water and sweet sugar drinks and that time period got a lot easier.

BE WELL

ghostdad

IOAA2 - that's actually some good advise. My drinking time was after dinner and the kids homework. I still have a drink with me constantly in the evening but its water infused with cucumbers.

serious

two shots is nothing.

you didn't go on a binge and you know what is right and what is wrong.

don't do it again ... and let him hide the liquor .. what do you care? are you planning on drinking it?

Gilmer

.

so2014

Well, I wasn't going to pack away the liquor because hubby has stressful job and likes a drink after work. He sticks to one. And I felt bad about taking that away from him. But now I"m thinking I need to pack it up. Either out of the house altogether, or somewhere hidden I don't know. However, the latter will turn HIM into a secret drinker - he'll be like me drinking in secret in the unfinished basement But he is being supportive. I talked to my sponsor, and she thinks I should get it out, but shouldn't be the one to do it. Should have the hubby do the packing so I"m not even around it.

Am going to go to Trader Joe's and buy myself a whole lot of sparkling cranberry and blueberry juice. Am hoping that will fool my body into thinking I'm having a "fun drink" at 4 p.m. I have never eaten/drank so much sugar in my life as the past two weeks!

SoberLife90

I think you should get it out of the house, especially since the first time you had a slip you weren't even thinking about it. Just remember that it only takes that first drink to bring you straight back to the person you don't want to be. 1 drink will lead to many. Just do whatever works for you.

Serenidad

I agree with Wolf. Good luck. Don't beat yourself up, it won't do any good. Just learn from it and move on.

Question: if that Rum wouldn't have been in the house would you have gone to the store to buy some or to a bar? If not...I would get rid of it all.

Thinking of u!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery