Needtoheal

My worst nightmare came true, in late August 2014, after 16 months of sobriety, I chose to drink while travelling for work. Since I got back home things have just been getting worse by the week and I keep drinking more and more. Other addictions are back, full swing, and I sense myself growing darker by the day as opposed to the light hearted individual I was becoming.

My AA sponsor and some AA friends are aware and are encouraging me back into the rooms but I am just too scared to go back because I have to start from scratch and I think I will fail again. I am isolating from most of the people who know my struggle and might be able to help.

I am really confused and feel helpless even though I know what I need to do.

Please help me out...I am now two days sober.

biminiblue

Have you fully examined what went wrong? Did you already get through the Steps in AA?


I'm sorry you're struggling, but happy you're on Day Two! You know what to do.

((hug)) keep checking in with us here, there are a lot of people who can relate.

heath480

Sorry to read you are struggling.

Please get back to the rooms,no reason at all for you to fail,you did it before you can do it again.

Wishing you well.

FreeOwl

First things First; get back to the tables.

ACTION begets action and that is the single simplest, most powerful action you can take.

Too scared to go back - that's your AV talking. You know there's nothing 'scary' about it. You're not the first and you're not gonna be the last who found themselves in this place..... I've been there myself.

Get back in there, and let's take this one step at a time.

Barnumb

Congratulations on two days sober. You are further along then some, and those first few days are the worst for physical withdraws. In addition, you are posting here, seems to me you are ready to get back on the wagon. We saved you a spot.

least

Go back to AA. They don't shoot their wounded.

afloatsober

Back to the rooms friend.
There will be a seat there for you and a warm welcome.
Always was for me when i returned, beaten again.
Wishing you well.
Things may have a different 'ring' to them this time.
G

Needtoheal

I have been putting off the examination...basically I have been evading any positive action. I was struggling through the steps but had just made a great breakthrough with Step 4 then I travelled and....

Thanks, will definitely come back here as I work towards getting back to the rooms!

FreeOwl

there is no 'work' needed.

all you have to do is get to the next available meeting. Simple.

Anna

I hope you do whatever it takes to stay sober.

Please know there is lots of support here.

Needtoheal

Honestly, the thought of going to a meeting makes me just want to pick up again...and that's not good because there's still some alcohol in the house.

jakec

The word "nightmare" stood out to me, because thats exactly what a relapse feels like.

I just came back to the rooms almost two weeks ago and things are already looking better than they were. I think this because I got a sponsor right away and got right into the steps.

You can do this. Don't let the fear of another relapse keep you from trying to recover today.

Soberwolf

As your name suggests take all the time you need big hugs glad your here posting about it getting it off your chest

Good luck

MemphisBlues

I can think of no one more welcome in the rooms of AA than someone crawling back from a relapse.

It humbles us all and gives us an opportunity to treat you as we were treated when we first walked into a meeting.

Go. Period. Today. Do it for me.

Aiko

Sorry you are struggling!

You have to knock in the head is not a way of life.
This will get worse each time!!!
You will end up loosing friends, job, damage your body, depression, might have an accident or worse...
all will start crumbling around you!!!
and then you will regret...too late.
So get out whilst you can.

It is ok you have tripped over, we all have, no need to be ashamed...!!!
I had many falls until I ended in a clinic, lost my friends, and a miracle I did not crash or lost my job...

You know your problem
Knock in your head: YOU CAN NOT DO IT!!!
Once you accept it is so much easier!

Wish you the best in your recovery

FreeOwl

Listen.... you asked for help.

You said in your post "NEED HELP TO GET OUT OF A RELAPSE".

So here it is;

step one - pour out that alcohol that is in the house
step two - look up the next available meeting
step three - call your sponsor (this can be put ahead of step one or two)
step four - get to the meeting
step five - work the steps

I hope you won't take this as not being supportive, but what I'm reading in your words above is "I don't WANT to get out of this relapse". If you really want to get out of it - then pick up the phone, find out the meeting time, and start getting out of it.

We're here to help too, but your post tells me you're gonna need more than an Internet forum.

Help is there.... you're reading it, it's reaching out to you. Through this forum, through my words, through your sponsor and AA friends' encouragement.

It's your move.

PurpleKnight

Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith and do what we need to do to be Sober, because what really is the alternative? where is that going to lead us?

Get a plan in place, tap into all the support here on SR and make it happen!!

When I had nowhere else to go and was feeling pretty hopeless, there was only one thing to do, and that was try something different, what do we have to loose?!!

You can do this!!

biminiblue

I'm going to take the opposite tack here.

If meetings and the Steps are making you want to pick up - ask yourself why that is.

I stopped going to meetings for a lot of reasons, they weren't helping me. So - to each their own. There are other methods for quitting, including AVRT, Smart Recovery, and others listed here in the forums. AA is not the only way - but it does work for some. I think if you had a breakthrough on step four, that is a good sign that you are learning something there. Can you at least talk to your sponsor?

luvmygirls

I'm not in a position to give advice, but I just wanted to say that you were doing something right for 16 months. That's an amazing achievement. You'll get back on track...hang in there and keep posting.

tomsteve

Daily reflections April 17 and 24 hours a day January 6.good readings that come to mind.

You know what ya need to do, now I hope you want to do it. Yer not helpless. Maybe call yer sponsor and ask for a ride to a meeting?