My AV wants to know
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
My AV wants to know
I've been having this argument with my AV for a few days now, but AV keeps coming back and asks again (I think my AV is a two year old sometimes! 
)
AV: Look at all these old timers. After 2-3-even 10 years they are still coming to this forum every day.
Me: They want to help people
AV: No, they post every day FOR YEARS because they still need reassurance. They're still struggling with alcohol cravings.
ME: No! Dee said he likes to give back to the community, it makes him happy.
AV: You don't know him in real life
ME: I think it's like when you read a great book, or watch an awesome movie, you want all your friends to experience the same happiness you've experience.
AV: BS, they still need help and support after all these years. If you quit drinking, you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life. You'll need to be glued to these forums FOREVER.
ME: Go away AV
It's making me depressed. What if AV is right?
Patricia
)AV: Look at all these old timers. After 2-3-even 10 years they are still coming to this forum every day.
Me: They want to help people
AV: No, they post every day FOR YEARS because they still need reassurance. They're still struggling with alcohol cravings.
ME: No! Dee said he likes to give back to the community, it makes him happy.
AV: You don't know him in real life
ME: I think it's like when you read a great book, or watch an awesome movie, you want all your friends to experience the same happiness you've experience.
AV: BS, they still need help and support after all these years. If you quit drinking, you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life. You'll need to be glued to these forums FOREVER.
ME: Go away AV
It's making me depressed. What if AV is right?
Patricia
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey patricia68,
For me it's a little of both.
I read over some of the hardships that some of the people who are just starting on their journey to sobriety have, and it's a reminder of how bad things were for me.
I've been able to refrain from drinking for over 14 months, and I want to let people know that life is still good without alcohol. And for a person whose life was centered around it, that was no small feat, which I want to share with others.
I actually just found this forum, and I do enjoy coming here.
I also don't think that you'll be miserable. However I do feel the key is to reinvent yourself. This means changing, and I don't just mean quitting alcohol. You really have to be a different person in some way, which will be different for everybody.
For me it's a little of both.
I read over some of the hardships that some of the people who are just starting on their journey to sobriety have, and it's a reminder of how bad things were for me.
I've been able to refrain from drinking for over 14 months, and I want to let people know that life is still good without alcohol. And for a person whose life was centered around it, that was no small feat, which I want to share with others.
If you quit drinking, you are going to be miserable for the rest of your life. You'll need to be glued to these forums FOREVER
I also don't think that you'll be miserable. However I do feel the key is to reinvent yourself. This means changing, and I don't just mean quitting alcohol. You really have to be a different person in some way, which will be different for everybody.
Last edited by Lusher; 10-19-2014 at 09:33 AM. Reason: Additional
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
No one does anything for a long time unless it gives them something back. So it's probably 50-50.
I'm pretty sure being on SR has helped me stay sober long-term though. As for miserable? I'm actually chuffed about living a sober life and it's a big consolation when other things make life difficult.
I'm pretty sure being on SR has helped me stay sober long-term though. As for miserable? I'm actually chuffed about living a sober life and it's a big consolation when other things make life difficult.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by Lusher 
However I do feel the key is to reinvent yourself. This means changing, and I don't just mean quitting alcohol. You really have to be a different person in some way, which will be different for everybody.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
The good things i get from being sober Av hasnt got a chance in the early days it tried like hell but i knew the truth and when i was weak i knew id get stronger
being around likeminded folk (sr for 1) helps but its all down on me really
give it time and the Av will not have a chance
sometimes i hold out my hands and have my old life in one hand and my new life in the other
there is no comparison
being around likeminded folk (sr for 1) helps but its all down on me really
give it time and the Av will not have a chance
sometimes i hold out my hands and have my old life in one hand and my new life in the other
there is no comparison
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
I have been coming to SR for many years.
I don't come here because I crave alcohol or because I need reassurance.
This is a labor of love for me, that's it (as it is for Dee). Recovery is a deeply ingrained part of me, part of my day, and coming to SR is part of 'my' recovery.
I didn't know SR existed during the first 3 years of my recovery and I would have benefitted from it. So, it's really, really important to me to make sure this resource is here for any and all who come here.
I don't come here because I crave alcohol or because I need reassurance.
This is a labor of love for me, that's it (as it is for Dee). Recovery is a deeply ingrained part of me, part of my day, and coming to SR is part of 'my' recovery.
I didn't know SR existed during the first 3 years of my recovery and I would have benefitted from it. So, it's really, really important to me to make sure this resource is here for any and all who come here.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by patricia68
It's making me depressed. What if AV is right?
"Oh dear I crashed my car, damn that sucks, $2000 to get it fixed, what am I going to do?? "
AV.. "have a drink, actually have lots of drinks"
"Oh look, my car mended itself overnight, whilst I was passed out drunk, now I can drive it again and I've saved myself $2000 (minus $50 worth of booze) ..... Thanks AV... You're a genius"
Anything like that ever happen?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Originally Posted by Hawks
Would this be the same AV that promotes alcohol as the solution to all your difficulties??
"Oh dear I crashed my car, damn that sucks, $2000 to get it fixed, what am I going to do?? "
AV.. "have a drink, actually have lots of drinks"
"Oh look, my car mended itself overnight, whilst I was passed out drunk, now I can drive it again and I've saved myself $2000 (minus $50 worth of booze) ..... Thanks AV... You're a genius"
Anything like that ever happen?
"Oh dear I crashed my car, damn that sucks, $2000 to get it fixed, what am I going to do?? "
AV.. "have a drink, actually have lots of drinks"
"Oh look, my car mended itself overnight, whilst I was passed out drunk, now I can drive it again and I've saved myself $2000 (minus $50 worth of booze) ..... Thanks AV... You're a genius"
Anything like that ever happen?
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by patricia68
Umm no, When I wake up I would still have the $2000 bill, $50 spent on booze, a massive headache and crippling panic/anxiety 
The reality never did live up to the hype.
Helping others cuts our ties to the AV... AV is the epitome of selfishness... It cares nothing for us or others... But it is not who we really are.
Ever notice how little kids will insist on sharing their food with you.?
They haven't yet learnt to "not give to others"... Somehow we learn that stupid idea as we "grow up"
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 129
I don't think this is just an individual "disease"/problem. I think it is a societal problem too, so when we can come here and talk about it openly, no matter how much time has passed, we are addressing a problem that our experience can speak to.
Society itself has an addictive voice that in my opinion is much stronger than when I was a hippie in the 60's. The addictions to prescription drugs, to heroin, meth are taking out communities of people now. In Hope BC there is a huge meth problem amongst teenagers. In Chilliwack BC there is a huge problem with the Oxy's.
It was like what I read this morning. If there is one grasshopper on the train tracks it won't do much harm, but if there are thousands on the tracks it could de-rail the train.
Maybe if more people who struggled with addiction added their experience, strength and hope we could derail the problem for a few members of our society. I don't know. Maybe I'm just an idealist. But that addictive voice in our culture is driving the train.
Society itself has an addictive voice that in my opinion is much stronger than when I was a hippie in the 60's. The addictions to prescription drugs, to heroin, meth are taking out communities of people now. In Hope BC there is a huge meth problem amongst teenagers. In Chilliwack BC there is a huge problem with the Oxy's.
It was like what I read this morning. If there is one grasshopper on the train tracks it won't do much harm, but if there are thousands on the tracks it could de-rail the train.
Maybe if more people who struggled with addiction added their experience, strength and hope we could derail the problem for a few members of our society. I don't know. Maybe I'm just an idealist. But that addictive voice in our culture is driving the train.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
One of the philosophies of AA is you have to give it away in order to keep it. One alcoholic helping another keeps us both sober. Do I do it for others? Yes. Do I do it for myself? Yes. By giving I am getting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Over the yrs. Ive heard quite a few
old-timers have either gone back out
to drinking or drugging or even have
sadly passed away.
Sure, I can delete my SR membership
if I want to. Sure, I can get rid of all
my AA literature. Sure, I can take my
own will into my hands, cut all ties
with recovery, go back to the clubs,
have more than one drink cause one
will never ever be enough to satisfy
my cravings for it. Go to bed with
strangers, drive drunk, kill someone
or better than that, kill myself.
NO THANK YOU.
I choose to be here in SR because I
want to. I enjoy being here. Yes, I
do have a life outside SR. Im happy,
married, comfortable, with a healthy,
honest life and 24 yrs sobriety.
Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful
and can strike at anyone at anytime unless
I have a safe, strong, secured foundation
I have built over the yrs. to hold strong
against the evils of alcohol.
Too many have gone back out over the
yrs. to return or not return to let me
know that alcohol is just as badass then
as it is now and it hasn't changed.
If I was given a choice to stay here in SR
or go live my life on my own, Id quickly
say id stay here. Being here is a hell of a
lot easier than it is to live life with no support,
or fellowship. A hell of a lot easier than
drinking and dieing.
Of course this is my own thoughts.
old-timers have either gone back out
to drinking or drugging or even have
sadly passed away.
Sure, I can delete my SR membership
if I want to. Sure, I can get rid of all
my AA literature. Sure, I can take my
own will into my hands, cut all ties
with recovery, go back to the clubs,
have more than one drink cause one
will never ever be enough to satisfy
my cravings for it. Go to bed with
strangers, drive drunk, kill someone
or better than that, kill myself.
NO THANK YOU.
I choose to be here in SR because I
want to. I enjoy being here. Yes, I
do have a life outside SR. Im happy,
married, comfortable, with a healthy,
honest life and 24 yrs sobriety.
Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful
and can strike at anyone at anytime unless
I have a safe, strong, secured foundation
I have built over the yrs. to hold strong
against the evils of alcohol.
Too many have gone back out over the
yrs. to return or not return to let me
know that alcohol is just as badass then
as it is now and it hasn't changed.
If I was given a choice to stay here in SR
or go live my life on my own, Id quickly
say id stay here. Being here is a hell of a
lot easier than it is to live life with no support,
or fellowship. A hell of a lot easier than
drinking and dieing.
Of course this is my own thoughts.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
If it sounds like a 2 year old that's because it is. I found this link helpful
Character Changes Caused by Alcoholism and Drug Addiction - Understanding The Change
I haven't read any of the RR but when that voice came at me I would meet it at the door. I think it is dangerous to try and reason with it.
As far as why people keep posting here, some don't. I would assume most get better and go on their way. The last year I have been here I have spent unraveling me and it has little to do with drinking.
It's not always going to be this way Patricia. If the last year had been like the first 6 months I would have drank by now.
Character Changes Caused by Alcoholism and Drug Addiction - Understanding The Change
I haven't read any of the RR but when that voice came at me I would meet it at the door. I think it is dangerous to try and reason with it.
As far as why people keep posting here, some don't. I would assume most get better and go on their way. The last year I have been here I have spent unraveling me and it has little to do with drinking.
It's not always going to be this way Patricia. If the last year had been like the first 6 months I would have drank by now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
I don't know why others post here years after stopping drinking. When I was new I hound hope that others on here had years of sobriety. I could it amazing that they would take the time to post to me... Just because they cared. I try to offer hope to the newcomers.
Um Dia de Cada Vez
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Brasil
Posts: 613
I think it all comes down to the individual, some people post a lot on their early recovery, others post only when they reach a new milestone while others really like the community and feel the need to share often, I think whatever the case it is it helps us remind why we are on SR
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
I have another forum I was on about ten years ago, about living with a narcissist. I still go back every few months and post for newcomers, because those guys helped me get on my feet when I was at one of my lowest points. I like to give it back. Long term posters and mods here, in my eyes, are doing just that.
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