Returning to recovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2
Returning to recovery
Greetings.
Im a alcoholic. I been drinking since I was 14 years old. It got bad over the years. I got my first DUI in 2010. I tried AA for the first time, for support for my time of need, and want to quit drinking. I wasn't welcome by many. I got critise so bad because I never believe in "god" and I got fed by the hounds by fellow AA people because they always told me "aa is Christian bound, and you need to love jesus Christ" even though it does say "a higher power and understand god as I understand". And most AA places I went to had their little cliques and small groups and would go after the so call "outcast". I had a sponsor but after a week or two I never heard from him. I was always told at AA "one sponsor only" you can't have two sponsors and if your sponsor doesn't answer keep calling him. ok Em I suppose to keep calling when he hangs up most of the time or tell his daughter "Tell him Im not here" I got stress and quit AA after 4 months. I manage to stay sober for 2 years.
Then I relapse one night and starting drinking again. I got another DUI in august and after I got bailed out, I check into rehab for a month. During the time in rehab, a fellow person in my therapy session with the same story as me took me to AA again. I happen to meet my sponsor that day. I told him my back story and he was shock to hear the experience I had. He took me under his wing and showed me what AA is really about and I found new hope for it.
I got done with my first step today. My sponsor told me to find a higher power for myself. I told him "I don't believe in god, Im atheist" he kept saying but theres gotta be something that makes you get up in the morning, a reason why things happen.
So that's why Im here now. Im an atheist and I want to work the steps without god or any religion so any tips on seeking a higher power that's greater than myself but without "god"? I need this spiritual awakening and I went through a few websites about atheism in AA but still confussed.
Im a alcoholic. I been drinking since I was 14 years old. It got bad over the years. I got my first DUI in 2010. I tried AA for the first time, for support for my time of need, and want to quit drinking. I wasn't welcome by many. I got critise so bad because I never believe in "god" and I got fed by the hounds by fellow AA people because they always told me "aa is Christian bound, and you need to love jesus Christ" even though it does say "a higher power and understand god as I understand". And most AA places I went to had their little cliques and small groups and would go after the so call "outcast". I had a sponsor but after a week or two I never heard from him. I was always told at AA "one sponsor only" you can't have two sponsors and if your sponsor doesn't answer keep calling him. ok Em I suppose to keep calling when he hangs up most of the time or tell his daughter "Tell him Im not here" I got stress and quit AA after 4 months. I manage to stay sober for 2 years.
Then I relapse one night and starting drinking again. I got another DUI in august and after I got bailed out, I check into rehab for a month. During the time in rehab, a fellow person in my therapy session with the same story as me took me to AA again. I happen to meet my sponsor that day. I told him my back story and he was shock to hear the experience I had. He took me under his wing and showed me what AA is really about and I found new hope for it.
I got done with my first step today. My sponsor told me to find a higher power for myself. I told him "I don't believe in god, Im atheist" he kept saying but theres gotta be something that makes you get up in the morning, a reason why things happen.
So that's why Im here now. Im an atheist and I want to work the steps without god or any religion so any tips on seeking a higher power that's greater than myself but without "god"? I need this spiritual awakening and I went through a few websites about atheism in AA but still confussed.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Your question is what brought me to SoberRecovery also. There's threads about this in the "Secular Twelve Step Recovery" section. Stick around, it gets better!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
I'm sorry to hear about your experience with AA so far. That has not been my experience. I don't know how many meetings are in your area. Each group is different. There are even some atheist AA meetings. I feel sorry for the people who treated you badly, that is not what AA is about. It's not Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, or any other religion. It's only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
Oh yeah, some people say their higher power is G.O.D. - Group Of Drunks - sharing their experience, strength, and hope.
Do a little experiment. Let's pretend that you do have something that is your higher power. How would you want your HP to make you feel? Loved? Accepted? Forgiven? Would it be kind? Healing? Peaceful?
Your god doesn't have to look like an old bearded dude who sits up in the sky on a cloud.
When I see a cute animal or smell a pretty flower - I am in the presence of MY higher power.
Do a little experiment. Let's pretend that you do have something that is your higher power. How would you want your HP to make you feel? Loved? Accepted? Forgiven? Would it be kind? Healing? Peaceful?
Your god doesn't have to look like an old bearded dude who sits up in the sky on a cloud.
When I see a cute animal or smell a pretty flower - I am in the presence of MY higher power.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by bookmaven 
Oh yeah, some people say their higher power is G.O.D. - Group Of Drunks - sharing their experience, strength, and hope.
Do a little experiment. Let's pretend that you do have something that is your higher power. How would you want your HP to make you feel? Loved? Accepted? Forgiven? Would it be kind? Healing? Peaceful?
Your god doesn't have to look like an old bearded dude who sits up in the sky on a cloud.
When I see a cute animal or smell a pretty flower - I am in the presence of MY higher power.
Do a little experiment. Let's pretend that you do have something that is your higher power. How would you want your HP to make you feel? Loved? Accepted? Forgiven? Would it be kind? Healing? Peaceful?
Your god doesn't have to look like an old bearded dude who sits up in the sky on a cloud.
When I see a cute animal or smell a pretty flower - I am in the presence of MY higher power.
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
There are some other options out there that don't involve religion. Do a little research. I've been going to LifeRing meetings where they don't discuss religion at all, and that has been good for me. Keep looking for something that suits you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 59
I am an atheist as well and also on Step 1.
I am struggling with the idea of HP too, although I don't believe in a certain deity/creator, I do believe in something like energy of the universe. Like, if you think positively and hope and work hard for good/positive things to happen in your life, and you are a good person who does not purposefully try to harm/hurt other people, then you are more likely to get what you want? So I guess I believe in happy, positive thoughts and feelings...
I just don't understand how I am supposed to surrender my will power (which is pretty much all I have right now to stay sober) to some "person/thing" that I don't think exists? I hope this post does not offend anyone, I don't think I was able to express my thoughts well...I am just trying to say that I don't know how I am supposed to achieve lasting sobriety if I have surrender control over my life to this HP concept?
I am struggling with the idea of HP too, although I don't believe in a certain deity/creator, I do believe in something like energy of the universe. Like, if you think positively and hope and work hard for good/positive things to happen in your life, and you are a good person who does not purposefully try to harm/hurt other people, then you are more likely to get what you want? So I guess I believe in happy, positive thoughts and feelings...
I just don't understand how I am supposed to surrender my will power (which is pretty much all I have right now to stay sober) to some "person/thing" that I don't think exists? I hope this post does not offend anyone, I don't think I was able to express my thoughts well...I am just trying to say that I don't know how I am supposed to achieve lasting sobriety if I have surrender control over my life to this HP concept?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
Originally Posted by margherita
I am an atheist as well and also on Step 1. I am struggling with the idea of HP too, although I don't believe in a certain deity/creator, I do believe in something like energy of the universe. Like, if you think positively and hope and work hard for good/positive things to happen in your life, and you are a good person who does not purposefully try to harm/hurt other people, then you are more likely to get what you want? So I guess I believe in happy, positive thoughts and feelings... I just don't understand how I am supposed to surrender my will power (which is pretty much all I have right now to stay sober) to some "person/thing" that I don't think exists? I hope this post does not offend anyone, I don't think I was able to express my thoughts well...I am just trying to say that I don't know how I am supposed to achieve lasting sobriety if I have surrender control over my life to this HP concept?
I have the power to not take the first sip of alcohol. The choice is mine. God or the universe or whatever you call it does not compel me to drink or not drink. I choose not to because I have enough experience to know that once I put even the smallest amount of alcohol in my system, the physiological or biochemical reaction to the highly addictive substance in my brain takes control and I have no idea what will happen then. I know that I make the choice to stay sober every day. I don't ask god to choose for me. If there is a god, my god isn't sitting around waiting for requests or to do lists. It works much better for me in my recovery to not tell god what to do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
I had a problem with the word God also when I came around but the dude in the robes wasn’t pushed just my “Higher Power” was and is around here spoken of. I know other areas perhaps push “god” more.
My higher power is all around me when I look out the window and see so many things man can’t make themselves like weeds, flowers , clouds, rain, trees, the oceans, and life in general.
I try to KISS.
BE WELL
I had a problem with the word God also when I came around but the dude in the robes wasn’t pushed just my “Higher Power” was and is around here spoken of. I know other areas perhaps push “god” more.
My higher power is all around me when I look out the window and see so many things man can’t make themselves like weeds, flowers , clouds, rain, trees, the oceans, and life in general.
I try to KISS.
BE WELL
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Welcome,Sulphur. I hope you find the support and friendship to help you through.
If you can find the thing that puts you in awe of just being alive, you have found your higher power.
I'm an atheist but I do believe that this planet itself is my higher power- the beauty, the abundance, the way everything is perfect for survival, the flora and fauna. It is awesome to me, and mysterious too. And then that leads to, why is it here? What put it here ? Is it just a freak accident ? That mystery gets me every time, all those questions. I'm still working on it, but just to be alive on this Earth, to me, is something I can surrender to.
If you can find the thing that puts you in awe of just being alive, you have found your higher power.
I'm an atheist but I do believe that this planet itself is my higher power- the beauty, the abundance, the way everything is perfect for survival, the flora and fauna. It is awesome to me, and mysterious too. And then that leads to, why is it here? What put it here ? Is it just a freak accident ? That mystery gets me every time, all those questions. I'm still working on it, but just to be alive on this Earth, to me, is something I can surrender to.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
I told my sponsor I would do all the steps referring to HP or god if I could replace with "common sense". He agreed. If he had not I would have fired him and found one that would. Drinking is not an option whether I have a "spiritual" experience or not. I do feel more a part of humanity for giving up the booze. I can't sit in a corner and feel special anymore.
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