alone and scared in NYC
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1
alone and scared in NYC
I have been lurking for months on this forum, but this last 6 day binge was so extreme I don't remember 5 of the 6 days-- I'm now on the day 2 of sober and it was so bad last night and this morning i thought id have to go to ER. Im currently unemployed, had very successful interviews and got dinged on the 7th, that was my last hope. Im losing my apartment in 13 days, no place to go, no friends or family to speak of my last relatives my mother and grandmother passed away 3 years ago within 4 months of each other.
Been in the hospital for gastritis, esophagitis and pancreatitis 3 times in the last 3 months.
Huge debts, no money, no food in the refrigerator, drinking Oral Rehydration Solution to minimize withdrawal. Things look pretty bleak. Any words of kindness or wisdom?
Been in the hospital for gastritis, esophagitis and pancreatitis 3 times in the last 3 months.
Huge debts, no money, no food in the refrigerator, drinking Oral Rehydration Solution to minimize withdrawal. Things look pretty bleak. Any words of kindness or wisdom?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Hey pdhmme
Welcome to SR. Well done on not drinking ! Its early days and you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms (both physical and mental). So, I would give yourself time to recuperate and be gentle. Dont worry about your finances for now. There will be a solution for that in time. I would recommend that you focus on your health and a recovery plan. Stay close to SR and please do reach out for support at any time. Once the obsession of alcohol withdraws, then you will realise how valuable and worthy an individual you truly are ! Stay strong !
Welcome to SR. Well done on not drinking ! Its early days and you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms (both physical and mental). So, I would give yourself time to recuperate and be gentle. Dont worry about your finances for now. There will be a solution for that in time. I would recommend that you focus on your health and a recovery plan. Stay close to SR and please do reach out for support at any time. Once the obsession of alcohol withdraws, then you will realise how valuable and worthy an individual you truly are ! Stay strong !
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Welcome pdmme. You're dealing with a lot right now, I'm sorry. Stay safe and stay sober and you can address the job, apartment and finance issues in time and with a clear head.
Good work on day 2 - stick with it.
Good work on day 2 - stick with it.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by pdmme 
Any words of kindness or wisdom?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Burien WA.
Posts: 2,893
Going thru alcohol withdrawals by yourself is hard. Stay in touch here, you're not alone, was just going thru it myself last week but I wasn't alone which helped. All I can say is try not to start drinking again and if it gets really bad you might need to get some medical help. Withdrawals can be dangerous. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Aberdeen SD
Posts: 180
If you are desperate call the Salvation Army. Sounds like you need to get into a rehab and halfway house and build from there. I wish you the best.
The Salvation Army Family Stores
The Salvation Army Family Stores
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Shelters, crisis centers, pantries, soup kitchens, long-term housing, outreach and drop-in centers.
Homeless Services - Manhattan Community Board 4
If you're interested in detox, I can recommend St. Luke's Hospital. As much as I hate to post this, it may increase your chances for admission if you go in the morning and after you've been drinking.
With no financial resources, they'll get paid retroactively through Medicaid.
As for longer-term treatment, they'll likely refer you to a state-run ATC (Addiction Treatment Center), though it's unlikely you'll get much treatment there. Ask the detox to contact Nassau University Medical Center in Long Island, a reputable rehab that will also get paid through Medicaid.
If you're interested in sober living, Seafield Resources, also in Long Island, is the way to go, while St. Luke's in Manhattan also offers sober living.
Don't make the mistake of waiting till the last minute to get the care you need.
Homeless Services - Manhattan Community Board 4
If you're interested in detox, I can recommend St. Luke's Hospital. As much as I hate to post this, it may increase your chances for admission if you go in the morning and after you've been drinking.
With no financial resources, they'll get paid retroactively through Medicaid.
As for longer-term treatment, they'll likely refer you to a state-run ATC (Addiction Treatment Center), though it's unlikely you'll get much treatment there. Ask the detox to contact Nassau University Medical Center in Long Island, a reputable rehab that will also get paid through Medicaid.
If you're interested in sober living, Seafield Resources, also in Long Island, is the way to go, while St. Luke's in Manhattan also offers sober living.
Don't make the mistake of waiting till the last minute to get the care you need.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi, pdmme, from another NYC resident 
There is a few of us alcoholics from the city here on SR.
I also feel for you on the family thing - right now I'm in Europe staying with my father who most likely won't have much more time with us in life, and he's pretty much the only relative I have ever had a close relationship with. It's extremely heart wrenching for me right now, and I am stone cold sober, questioning the meaning of my whole life as I can't sleep due to all this and the jet lag... If I'd ever been put to test in my over 8 months of sobriety, it is now... but I'll tell you a secret: IT IS WORTH IT!
I am sorry you are in such a rough place right now, but please know that there is a way out. You need to give up the drink finally and definitively, and then all those troubles you mention can be sorted out, some probably slowly and others pretty quickly. Do go to the ER if you are feeling very uneasy! Have you considered a stint in rehab, and getting help through an inpatient program for many of your problems, including housing? There are great detox and rehab programs in NYC.
Considering what you have written about being alone, I would also recommend trying an AA meeting or a few... so many possible choices of meetings where you are at!
EDIT: The guy above me ^^ beat me at giving specific suggestions
, not sure how we often end up posting simultaneously on many threads before I know, but do listen to his suggestions.
There is a few of us alcoholics from the city here on SR.
I also feel for you on the family thing - right now I'm in Europe staying with my father who most likely won't have much more time with us in life, and he's pretty much the only relative I have ever had a close relationship with. It's extremely heart wrenching for me right now, and I am stone cold sober, questioning the meaning of my whole life as I can't sleep due to all this and the jet lag... If I'd ever been put to test in my over 8 months of sobriety, it is now... but I'll tell you a secret: IT IS WORTH IT!
I am sorry you are in such a rough place right now, but please know that there is a way out. You need to give up the drink finally and definitively, and then all those troubles you mention can be sorted out, some probably slowly and others pretty quickly. Do go to the ER if you are feeling very uneasy! Have you considered a stint in rehab, and getting help through an inpatient program for many of your problems, including housing? There are great detox and rehab programs in NYC.
Considering what you have written about being alone, I would also recommend trying an AA meeting or a few... so many possible choices of meetings where you are at!
EDIT: The guy above me ^^ beat me at giving specific suggestions
, not sure how we often end up posting simultaneously on many threads before I know, but do listen to his suggestions.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Hello PDM
Sorry things are so hard for you now. I understand your pain, to some extent. I'm sorry about your loss. I'm currently seeking employment as well, its been some time since Ive had a real job. I will send up a prayer for you. Stick with SR, and make use of any resources that are available to you. This is a great place to be, for support, and just putting it all out there.
Sorry things are so hard for you now. I understand your pain, to some extent. I'm sorry about your loss. I'm currently seeking employment as well, its been some time since Ive had a real job. I will send up a prayer for you. Stick with SR, and make use of any resources that are available to you. This is a great place to be, for support, and just putting it all out there.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Another option for help might be Catholic Charities.
Catholic Charities NY: Search for an Agency By Service
I'm sorry you're in such a rough place right now, glad you found your way to SR. And for having the courage to know you have a problem, and well done on your two days.
Catholic Charities NY: Search for an Agency By Service
I'm sorry you're in such a rough place right now, glad you found your way to SR. And for having the courage to know you have a problem, and well done on your two days.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome pdmme
The really great thing about this place is there's people from everywhere -0 I hope some of the links people have provided will help.
You find a lot of support here too
Congrats on day 2
D
The really great thing about this place is there's people from everywhere -0 I hope some of the links people have provided will help.
You find a lot of support here too
Congrats on day 2
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome. First I want to say if in doubt get to an ER, as others have said withdrawals can be dangerous.
I know that you are feeling horrible at the moment, but I can assure you this, the only way out is by going straight through the pain and anxiety and getting out on the other side sober. Drinking will only temporarily mask these things and leave them to come up at another time. There is no avoiding this first phase, no matter how long you put it off it will always be there waiting for you. You CAN get better though, by not drinking.
I bet finding the motivation to get out of the house and do something productive is really difficult right now but you need to dig deep into yourself and do it. Make yourself some coffee, find a bag or a box and pack up the physical possessions that mean the most to you. You don't need to carry this with you right now, but at least you have it ready if you need to get out in 13 days. Next, go visit the places that EndGame mentioned and find out what your options for help are. Before you go make a list of the soup kitchen nearest the hospital you will be visiting and stop there for a meal. I cannot imagine the fear you must be facing or how alone you must feel but you must reach deep inside yourself to take these first steps. There is help out there. Put one foot in front of the other to get to it and then let them carry you for a while. Please check in and let us know how you are doing. With your one post you have opened the door to support. We care and I know I am not alone when I say that I am worried about you and will be thinking of you today and in the days that follow. Please get help, there is hope.
I know that you are feeling horrible at the moment, but I can assure you this, the only way out is by going straight through the pain and anxiety and getting out on the other side sober. Drinking will only temporarily mask these things and leave them to come up at another time. There is no avoiding this first phase, no matter how long you put it off it will always be there waiting for you. You CAN get better though, by not drinking.
I bet finding the motivation to get out of the house and do something productive is really difficult right now but you need to dig deep into yourself and do it. Make yourself some coffee, find a bag or a box and pack up the physical possessions that mean the most to you. You don't need to carry this with you right now, but at least you have it ready if you need to get out in 13 days. Next, go visit the places that EndGame mentioned and find out what your options for help are. Before you go make a list of the soup kitchen nearest the hospital you will be visiting and stop there for a meal. I cannot imagine the fear you must be facing or how alone you must feel but you must reach deep inside yourself to take these first steps. There is help out there. Put one foot in front of the other to get to it and then let them carry you for a while. Please check in and let us know how you are doing. With your one post you have opened the door to support. We care and I know I am not alone when I say that I am worried about you and will be thinking of you today and in the days that follow. Please get help, there is hope.
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
Welcome Pdmme. By all means seek medical attention. The links posted above are all good places to start.
I'm also in NYC and help is available. Your circumstances appear bleak but please know that none of us began this journey on winning streak. I was dragged into sobriety off a park bench and sleeping on the subway and in abandoned buildings. PM me if you want to talk or go to a meeting.
-allan
I'm also in NYC and help is available. Your circumstances appear bleak but please know that none of us began this journey on winning streak. I was dragged into sobriety off a park bench and sleeping on the subway and in abandoned buildings. PM me if you want to talk or go to a meeting.
-allan
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