Fiona630

Ok, despite all the wonderful advice I got from you all on here, I am going to go stop in to the party. The party starts in 10 minutes. She lives 5 minutes from me. I got my hair trimmed today, feel pretty good..bit tired, and am sooo bored. My son and I went out for lunch around 3pm, late lunch. Then did some shopping. I am going to the party for a little bit then going home and bringing pizza for a late dinner with the kid.

After reading the post about the member going to the wedding and then to be careful about a relapse afterwards I will not get cocky thinking I can accomplish anything by getting through this party. I will not stay for the entire thing, I am stopping at the store on the way there to get an Arizona Half n half. lol Love that tea/lemonade stuff. I will eat what does not have alcohol in it there..knowing this party even her teen daughters will be drinking wine coolers while she will have im sure at least 2 cases of beer for herself. I will say my hellos and then make my escape. Depending on what kind of vibe I get I will either tell her I made an appearance but cant handle being around the alcohol or I will tell her my kid is sick, has no money and needs some cold meds. Which he is coming down with a cold. He took the last cold pill and used up the last of the throat spray then did not tell me while we were at the store. nice. anywho..I will be back on to report my evening adventure and I will be sober with not one bit of alcohol in me! SV is going with me, she tied up AV with duck tape to the tree in the backyard. Since my AV doesnt wear shoes and is always drunk, IF she gets herself loose, it will take a bit to walk there barefoot.

PurpleKnight

Be careful Fiona, some of your previous threads have mentioned parties leading you to drinking, so best being aware of your limits this time around!!

If it was me, I would give it a miss, but if you are going keep us posted on how it goes!!

livingnow

?

Soberwolf

Good luck and good on you for having exit plan

Fiona630

Well I left to go and like I mentioned it is only a 5 minute drive from my house if that..I got to the house, saw all the cars felt like I was cheating on myself and kept driving. I got maybe 3 houses from her house and my husband calls to do his nightly check in and I just burst into tears. I told him my sobriety is very important to me. And I thought I could do this but Im not ready. Plus going it alone was even harder. I want more out of my life and I will not get it if I drink. I do not want to be like the person that is throwing the party. They are always so broke, they are losing their house, no intentions of bettering themselves..even tho the husband doesn't drink, he collects disability, the friend had a great job but she quit as soon as he got his disability and her drinking got worse. They have 4 kids and cant afford to help with college for any of them. I don't want that. That will not be me. So he told me go get pizza, go home, get in my jammies and watch a movie. We don't need any of those people over there. If the "friend" chooses to bad mouth me to our mutual friends then so be it. We will see those mutual friends eventually and if it comes up we will explain why I didn't go. If they don't understand then to hell with them too. So I got pizza from little ceasers and I am home. Im trying that new pretzel pizza and it is very yummy. So Im off for a bit to do what my husband suggested. I did buy myself a new hot coco mug today so I might try that out later.

PurpleKnight

That took courage Fiona, you made a very brave decision, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Sobriety comes with some tough decisions, and you made one this evening.

Enjoy your pizza, your coco, and feel very proud tomorrow waking up hangover free!!

Stevie1

Wise decision that took courage, Fiona!
Your husband sounds like a keeper, too.

livingnow

AWESOME!!
Good for you

Fiona630

Livingnow I had talked about this party in another thread and the majority suggested not going. I felt I was going to be ok and prepared to go but I was not...so home it is.

Fiona630

Thank u everyone! It means more to read your kind words then it does to go to that party and save face from a person that I know will try to tarnish what little dignity I have left because she is petty and an alcoholic and probably feels threatened that I quit. Now she is the only really big drinker in the group. I need to be strong and then I can go redeem myself with others. I do feel sad letting this person go tho...I guess she is a habit like drinking was. We shared many moments over the years but I want to move forward and she wants to stay where she is.

Stevie1

Fiona, although I mostly have been drinking alone these last 5+ years, I have two friends who I like quite a lot....but they are also alcoholics and we sometimes drink together. I also feel a bit sad that I'm not going to be seeing much of this couple because pretty much all of our time together has centered around drinking.

It is sad, but inevitable if one wants to move forward and change, and some don't. I know I can't be around them much, going forward.

bunnezjp

Gurl, to Thine ownself be True. Proud of ya. Enjoy your pizza

Bunnez

MIRecovery

Congrats! Plus I have never heard of a pizza hangover

Briar

Yes! Awesome!

heartcore

Yee-hah. Well done! Good listening to yourself at the last moment, instead of forcing yourself to move through it! Your fella sounds like a great support; that's a gift. The evening you chose sounds much more fun to me. Congratulations!

MyTime86

I can relate to the feeling of terror you had when you got there an couldn't do it.. It has happen to me in my early soberity, I just want you to know it does get better an you do start to feel more comfortable just give it time.

Fiona630

Thank you! The love I feel from all of you makes my heart and mind soar!

MIRecovery...No pizza hangover

Stevie1 and heartcore, my hubby is an alright guy. lol We have our moments like most couples do and I have been mean and ornery and picking fights the past couple weeks. But whatever I want to do, that does not hurt me, he is behind me 100%. What gets my goat is that I know he will still have drinks. He can stop, I can't. Once a week drinking is good for him, if it goes to twice a week he gets all "well, that was way too much this week, time to slow it down. no drinking next week" lol Plus he likes to keep busy when he has drinks, play poker, pool, darts, something. I like to concentrate on my drink. Pisses me off sometimes to think that he can still have a few drinks to relax and I have to go run a marathon to be exhausted enough to relax. lolol Ahhh, but so it goes. And thank you for your kind words.

Stevie1, I am sorry your going to be losing 2 people. That sucks. Maybe they will want to go see a movie or something like that instead of drinking. Course these days the movie theaters now have bars. I really don't like that.

Purpleknight...Thank you. It is amazing that just the simple decision of going to a party or not is such a huge thing with sobriety. For normal people its not a big deal. But for us it is and it will be a big deal for a long time for me. Oh Im going to get sooo bored sitting at home. lol

Soberwolf, how was that for an exit plan..I didn't even enter. lol

Livingnow, Briar and Bunnez, thank you.

Thank you to all those that clicked thank you on the posts, it means a lot to have such wonderful support. Makes it easier to go to bed sober

My son mentioned wanting to get up early tomorrow and go have breakfast..I think that sounds like a good idea. And I won't be hungover, telling him we will do it another day.

Fiona630

Thank you MyTime, I wish I could just fast forward through all this but I know I can't. Most days its one day at a time but today it was like one minute at a time. Home is safe. There is no alcohol at home. There is only warmth and love.

Dee74

I can absolutely assure you there will be other parties and you will enjoy yourself Fiona.

I think it's good to pace yourself tho - work on those 'sober muscles' a little

D

LadyinBC

Just this alone says a lot. Good for you Fiona, you should be very proud of yourself for thinking this and also following thru on doing what is best for your sobriety. Well Done!