Thank You and a Question
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Washington D.C.
Posts: 30
Thank You and a Question
First, let me say thank you to everyone who posts on this site. This site and its members have been an amazing help, thank you.
For my question, what do I do now? I am on day 20, and while the cravings are still strong they're lifting. The challenge is that with my desire to drink decreasing, my desire to pass time the old ways (TV, video games, napping) is too. Genuinely, TV is almost unpleasant at this point. Is this normal? What did you learn to do to fill the time? Thanks.
For my question, what do I do now? I am on day 20, and while the cravings are still strong they're lifting. The challenge is that with my desire to drink decreasing, my desire to pass time the old ways (TV, video games, napping) is too. Genuinely, TV is almost unpleasant at this point. Is this normal? What did you learn to do to fill the time? Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Hi, welcome to the posting side.
What have you always wanted to do? Learn to play guitar? Kayak? Explore caves? Learn Japanese? Go to a Star Trek convention? Comedy club? Roller Derby?
Surely there is a bucket list! Write 'em down and start through them.
What have you always wanted to do? Learn to play guitar? Kayak? Explore caves? Learn Japanese? Go to a Star Trek convention? Comedy club? Roller Derby?
Surely there is a bucket list! Write 'em down and start through them.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome to SR!
You are in DC I see, I love that city. In my opinion it is a good city for all kinds of people. If you are an extrovert and enjoy the company of others I think you will easily find a lot of social groups and situations where you can be sober and among other people. I bet they have tons of groups that meet on the mall or in parks for frisbee golf, other athletic actives, maybe a book group or a cooking class/exchange.
It is also a good city for introverts, you could start ticking off the museums, there is everything there from art to history to science. Why not try a little bit of all of them? I've gone through phases in the past where I wanted to improve myself/expand my mind and tried to learn one new thing each day. I would make it a goal to read or study one random thing each day- things like how jellyfish propel themselves through the water, what exactly is PI and how is it relevant to everyday life, how to properly butcher a raw chicken, art rock and how the genre affected music as we know it today, the many symbolic clues found in the "Arnolfini Wedding Portrait" by Jan Van Eyck… you get the picture. HOW COOL to be surrounded by museums and libraries where you could do this in a much more interactive way?!
It sounds a little, uh, I dunno, dumb… But I found it to be quite a pleasant exercise and I did learn a lot. You never know when that kind of stuff is going to show up in a rousing game of trivial pursuit- hey, look at that, another possible sober activity!
You are in DC I see, I love that city. In my opinion it is a good city for all kinds of people. If you are an extrovert and enjoy the company of others I think you will easily find a lot of social groups and situations where you can be sober and among other people. I bet they have tons of groups that meet on the mall or in parks for frisbee golf, other athletic actives, maybe a book group or a cooking class/exchange.
It is also a good city for introverts, you could start ticking off the museums, there is everything there from art to history to science. Why not try a little bit of all of them? I've gone through phases in the past where I wanted to improve myself/expand my mind and tried to learn one new thing each day. I would make it a goal to read or study one random thing each day- things like how jellyfish propel themselves through the water, what exactly is PI and how is it relevant to everyday life, how to properly butcher a raw chicken, art rock and how the genre affected music as we know it today, the many symbolic clues found in the "Arnolfini Wedding Portrait" by Jan Van Eyck… you get the picture. HOW COOL to be surrounded by museums and libraries where you could do this in a much more interactive way?!
It sounds a little, uh, I dunno, dumb… But I found it to be quite a pleasant exercise and I did learn a lot. You never know when that kind of stuff is going to show up in a rousing game of trivial pursuit- hey, look at that, another possible sober activity!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
A very normal thing, I cut out drinking and discovered a whole lot of free time with not much to fill it with, but continuing on with the same routine and lifestyle minus alcohol would have been pretty boring for myself.
I had to sit down and work out with this second chance I'd been given, what did I now want to do in life? what did I get Sober for, if it was only to prolong my boring life? I had to figure out what I enjoyed, new activities, rekindle old hobbies/interests, think about new projects, things I wanted to do and achieve.
It'll take time to reshape a whole life, but with small steps it can be done, for example after my withdrawals faded away and I got some energy back I went out for a walk on a Sunday morning, it felt great, but I now do it every Sunday morning.
There's a big world out there, full of potential, and without alcohol, we can do whatever we want to do with our time!!
A very normal thing, I cut out drinking and discovered a whole lot of free time with not much to fill it with, but continuing on with the same routine and lifestyle minus alcohol would have been pretty boring for myself.
I had to sit down and work out with this second chance I'd been given, what did I now want to do in life? what did I get Sober for, if it was only to prolong my boring life? I had to figure out what I enjoyed, new activities, rekindle old hobbies/interests, think about new projects, things I wanted to do and achieve.
It'll take time to reshape a whole life, but with small steps it can be done, for example after my withdrawals faded away and I got some energy back I went out for a walk on a Sunday morning, it felt great, but I now do it every Sunday morning.
There's a big world out there, full of potential, and without alcohol, we can do whatever we want to do with our time!!
Living Sober
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 555
Hey NHTransplant, welcome! Nice job hitting the 20 day mark!
This can be one of the more difficult parts of refraining from drinking, especially if you're life more or less revolved around it, like mine did.
What I found to fill the void was exercise. I have the free time, so rather than lounging around with a cocktail all day, I re-discovered a popular trail near me and started running it almost daily. The hard cardio really helps me to relax and somewhat quashes the desire to drink.
I also discovered that the local library offers free DVDs to check out, so I spend some time watching movies and documentaries.
Once you find your new 'groove,' then I think the desire to drink will diminish as time goes on. When I first stopped, I was up-side-down. I had no idea what I wanted to do with the free time, but things started to fall into place.
Hope to see you in here often!
What did you learn to do to fill the time?
What I found to fill the void was exercise. I have the free time, so rather than lounging around with a cocktail all day, I re-discovered a popular trail near me and started running it almost daily. The hard cardio really helps me to relax and somewhat quashes the desire to drink.
I also discovered that the local library offers free DVDs to check out, so I spend some time watching movies and documentaries.
Once you find your new 'groove,' then I think the desire to drink will diminish as time goes on. When I first stopped, I was up-side-down. I had no idea what I wanted to do with the free time, but things started to fall into place.
Hope to see you in here often!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Today there is the Adams Morgan PorchFest. Different music groups set up and perform on porches in the historic neighborhood. They list Jazz, Brazilian, Folk, Irish, Indie Rock and Egyptian Nubian (like, what?!). It is also listed as "family friendly" which is generally a good indicator of low alcohol content.
There are a couple of sporting events tonight, the Capitals are playing. What do they play? Baseball? Basketball? Who knows? Who CARES?! It's supporting the local team, right?
Not your thing? How about some art? At the Convention Center today they are offering free, curator-led tours of over 130 works of art, the largest public collection in DC. Free? Say no more!
There is an Spooky Movie International Horror Film Festival in Silver Spring tonight, just a short ride away, the subway (what do you call it there?) goes right there if I recall correctly.
Or, OR! An evening of Indian Dance! So random, bound to be so amazing too! It's at Wolf Trap though. A great thing about going to events far off that you have to drive to is that you can now safely return without risking your life, the lives of others or jail time. You are sober after all!
Or you could order chinese delivery, but shake it up a bit. Order the egg rolls from one place, the sesame chicken from another, the beef and broccoli from another and the fried rice from another. Then have a tasting and decide which place will be your new "go to" The only problem I foresee with that is if they have a minimum order for delivery….
You could do the same with pizza, order a pie form three different places and do a taste test. Save the leftovers for a lazy lunch tomorrow, or of course you could invite some friends so that you don't have leftovers.
Hope this helps, have a great weekend.
There are a couple of sporting events tonight, the Capitals are playing. What do they play? Baseball? Basketball? Who knows? Who CARES?! It's supporting the local team, right?
Not your thing? How about some art? At the Convention Center today they are offering free, curator-led tours of over 130 works of art, the largest public collection in DC. Free? Say no more!
There is an Spooky Movie International Horror Film Festival in Silver Spring tonight, just a short ride away, the subway (what do you call it there?) goes right there if I recall correctly.
Or, OR! An evening of Indian Dance! So random, bound to be so amazing too! It's at Wolf Trap though. A great thing about going to events far off that you have to drive to is that you can now safely return without risking your life, the lives of others or jail time. You are sober after all!
Or you could order chinese delivery, but shake it up a bit. Order the egg rolls from one place, the sesame chicken from another, the beef and broccoli from another and the fried rice from another. Then have a tasting and decide which place will be your new "go to" The only problem I foresee with that is if they have a minimum order for delivery….
You could do the same with pizza, order a pie form three different places and do a taste test. Save the leftovers for a lazy lunch tomorrow, or of course you could invite some friends so that you don't have leftovers.
Hope this helps, have a great weekend.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to the family. Congrats on nearly three weeks sober!
I use my spare time to walk my dogs or just care for my cats and dogs. I have to stay sober to take good care of them.
I use my spare time to walk my dogs or just care for my cats and dogs.
I have to stay sober to take good care of them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 24
Hi NHTransplant
" What did you learn to do to fill the time? "
Ive had several serious attempts in the past at quiting.
one thing ive learnt above all else is its a great time to concentrate on my 'new' self while these thoughts are fresh for me during that new phase.
Water will always find its own level, and i think 'we' do too in life..
years ago i had lots of spare time while caring for a family member...
So i decided to learn how to touch type as a way of passing the time.
I downloaded a typing tutor, 30 day trial, promising myself i would do it for at least 5 times a day. Its was loads of fun trying to beat my own score
Needles to say i did it, and now ive got a cool skill to carry with me for the rest of my life.
I agree with all the other post's here as well. Try some new things
" What did you learn to do to fill the time? "
Ive had several serious attempts in the past at quiting.
one thing ive learnt above all else is its a great time to concentrate on my 'new' self while these thoughts are fresh for me during that new phase.
Water will always find its own level, and i think 'we' do too in life..
years ago i had lots of spare time while caring for a family member...
So i decided to learn how to touch type as a way of passing the time.
I downloaded a typing tutor, 30 day trial, promising myself i would do it for at least 5 times a day. Its was loads of fun trying to beat my own score
Needles to say i did it, and now ive got a cool skill to carry with me for the rest of my life.
I agree with all the other post's here as well. Try some new things
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 24
HI again NHTransplant
Mum once said to me
'It doesn't really matter what you do, so long as you have something to look forward to'
and she was right.. for me it doesn't have to be exploring the antartic or re-inventing the wheel.. just the simplest things work for me.. and creates positive thoughts
Mum once said to me
'It doesn't really matter what you do, so long as you have something to look forward to'
and she was right.. for me it doesn't have to be exploring the antartic or re-inventing the wheel.. just the simplest things work for me.. and creates positive thoughts
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
I read when I can, but otherwise I am focused on my family and being the best father and husband I can be.
I quit TV news and newspapers... Ignorance is bliss, that old saying never applied more accurately than to this recovered Alcoholic.
I drank to escape all the doom of the news. I can't help but think I watched it to justify a drink sometimes.
"Oh well, seems it war, famine and plague... I might as well die happy...... Glug Glug Glug "
Anyhoo... This question comes up on SR regularly and I know there are plenty of people who have solved their "what to do sober" stuff much better and more imaginatively than me.
I just wanted to chuck my 2 cents in about what I don't watch and read.
It has helped me a lot.
I quit TV news and newspapers... Ignorance is bliss, that old saying never applied more accurately than to this recovered Alcoholic.
I drank to escape all the doom of the news. I can't help but think I watched it to justify a drink sometimes.
"Oh well, seems it war, famine and plague... I might as well die happy...... Glug Glug Glug "
Anyhoo... This question comes up on SR regularly and I know there are plenty of people who have solved their "what to do sober" stuff much better and more imaginatively than me.
I just wanted to chuck my 2 cents in about what I don't watch and read.
It has helped me a lot.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Welcome NHTransplant! It's so nice to have you join us. 20 days is wonderful.
I felt very odd for a month or so after I got sober. You're learning to live in a whole new way. You'll adjust as you heal and mend from being foggy.
20 days is wonderful.I felt very odd for a month or so after I got sober. You're learning to live in a whole new way. You'll adjust as you heal and mend from being foggy.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
What you are finding was what I found too.
In the first days and weeks I had to be active and busy when not drinking, especially the evening.
In the past I would slob on the sofa, watch the soaps, be on my computer, generally just laze around while drinking.
When I stopped I either had to be working, sleeping or busy.
I also wanted to be out of the house too.
It didn't feel right watching Corrie without a drink of alcohol.
I felt uncomfortable, like I wanted to pace the floor.
Now I am better.
I can relax and watch television, read a magazine and drink tea and I'm okay with it.
It did make me realise how much time I wasted by drinking though.
As soon as I had my first drink, it was like game over for the day, No more jobs or anything got done.
It took me a few months to be able to sit and relax and do normal stuff without a drink.
Maybe take the time to get any jobs done that needs doing or go the gym or work on a project.
You won't always feel like this, it gets better.
I wish you the best xx
In the first days and weeks I had to be active and busy when not drinking, especially the evening.
In the past I would slob on the sofa, watch the soaps, be on my computer, generally just laze around while drinking.
When I stopped I either had to be working, sleeping or busy.
I also wanted to be out of the house too.
It didn't feel right watching Corrie without a drink of alcohol.
I felt uncomfortable, like I wanted to pace the floor.
Now I am better.
I can relax and watch television, read a magazine and drink tea and I'm okay with it.
It did make me realise how much time I wasted by drinking though.
As soon as I had my first drink, it was like game over for the day, No more jobs or anything got done.
It took me a few months to be able to sit and relax and do normal stuff without a drink.
Maybe take the time to get any jobs done that needs doing or go the gym or work on a project.
You won't always feel like this, it gets better.
I wish you the best xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
it starts wiht staying sober today
Originally Posted by NHTransplant 
The challenge is that with my desire to drink decreasing, my desire to pass time the old ways (TV, video games, napping) is too. Genuinely, TV is almost unpleasant at this point. Is this normal?
MM
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
I know the feeling. Right now I'm making a list of the things I think I like to do sober, things I've done in the past when my drinking wasn't so heavy. Cooking was one, yoga, reading, hiking, it takes some real thinking to remember. And there are many new possibilities too. Just think what you can do with all that muscle coordination you have now.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 315
TV is unpleasant? YUP sober or drunk!!
Can relate to your struggle.
I "forced" myself to attend the gym on a schedule....this formed a new habit during this time you speak of.
Now, Since Im an addict- this is a good one!
Use this time to recreate the new you
Can relate to your struggle.
I "forced" myself to attend the gym on a schedule....this formed a new habit during this time you speak of.
Now, Since Im an addict- this is a good one!
Use this time to recreate the new you
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi and welcome NHT
I definitely found that what was ok for drinking me was not enough for sober me.
Like others have said I used my imagination a little and found a whole lot of things to do and try
The worlds your oyster really
D
I definitely found that what was ok for drinking me was not enough for sober me.
Like others have said I used my imagination a little and found a whole lot of things to do and try
The worlds your oyster really
D
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