My First post - Relieved to be sober today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 24
My First post - Relieved to be sober today
HI everyone this is my first post on a forum site where i talk openly about me.
A quick bit about me.
I have been drinking for 20 years, and from the start it was almost immediately at dangerous levels of binge drinking through to full blown alcoholism in the last i guess 5 - 10 of those years till now.
My rock bottom was yet another drink driving charge (this time i really did a dandy) and i was nearly 3 times over the limit in black-out.. and i came a hairs breadth from going to jail and loosing the lot.
That is my career, house, my life and my own inner strength... I know that jail would have been.... well i dare not think about what could have been.
Im just simply grateful that no car accident happened. No one was hurt or maimed.. or perish the thought even worse... so an extreme sense of relief to say that i have definitely learnt my lesson finally.
Ive had 2 serious (6 month) attempts at sobriety in the past - through relationship failures etc and many many times i have stopped for short periods of time just hating the cycle of work/drunk/sickness/recover, only because i had to organize my drinking around life
I found SR very recently, quite by accident while doing a Dr Google on night sweats of all things .. and ive spent literally hours reading all the wonderful posts here and feel really blessed to have been a part of what is here.
So im very grateful for that as well.
I had a bit of an Ah-Ha moment recently reading about AVRT and it really got me thinking about what can i learn from that.
So my topic is in loose terms Decision Vs Desire.
For me the decision to stop has been made and i will not drink as i dont want to go to jail, as i know i will if i have one more drink.. that is soo blindingly clear to me know as im a classic alcoholic who every time i relapse it just gets worse and worse .. no question there.
Im 41 and my body cant handle the shock either each time i reintroduce that poison to it in such large quantities.
Then there is the desire.. that damn AV constantly urging me on with that lizard brain temptation.
and for me it's in-powering to be able to have that kind of self talk and say to that voice.. BS you have had your say... my mind is made up, now go away !
That's not to say im going to white knuckle it on my own.. oh no i definitely need my friends and family and the fellowship of AA and of course here at SR and everything i can do to take care of my self. - Gosh i do like to have that wonderful sober sleep..
anyway i do ramble on and i would love to hear others thoughts
Thanks for reading my post
A quick bit about me.
I have been drinking for 20 years, and from the start it was almost immediately at dangerous levels of binge drinking through to full blown alcoholism in the last i guess 5 - 10 of those years till now.
My rock bottom was yet another drink driving charge (this time i really did a dandy) and i was nearly 3 times over the limit in black-out.. and i came a hairs breadth from going to jail and loosing the lot.
That is my career, house, my life and my own inner strength... I know that jail would have been.... well i dare not think about what could have been.
Im just simply grateful that no car accident happened. No one was hurt or maimed.. or perish the thought even worse... so an extreme sense of relief to say that i have definitely learnt my lesson finally.
Ive had 2 serious (6 month) attempts at sobriety in the past - through relationship failures etc and many many times i have stopped for short periods of time just hating the cycle of work/drunk/sickness/recover, only because i had to organize my drinking around life
I found SR very recently, quite by accident while doing a Dr Google on night sweats of all things .. and ive spent literally hours reading all the wonderful posts here and feel really blessed to have been a part of what is here.
So im very grateful for that as well.
I had a bit of an Ah-Ha moment recently reading about AVRT and it really got me thinking about what can i learn from that.
So my topic is in loose terms Decision Vs Desire.
For me the decision to stop has been made and i will not drink as i dont want to go to jail, as i know i will if i have one more drink.. that is soo blindingly clear to me know as im a classic alcoholic who every time i relapse it just gets worse and worse .. no question there.
Im 41 and my body cant handle the shock either each time i reintroduce that poison to it in such large quantities.
Then there is the desire.. that damn AV constantly urging me on with that lizard brain temptation.
and for me it's in-powering to be able to have that kind of self talk and say to that voice.. BS you have had your say... my mind is made up, now go away !
That's not to say im going to white knuckle it on my own.. oh no i definitely need my friends and family and the fellowship of AA and of course here at SR and everything i can do to take care of my self. - Gosh i do like to have that wonderful sober sleep..
anyway i do ramble on and i would love to hear others thoughts
Thanks for reading my post
Just another day...
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 274
Welcome! I found SR by accident too. It was a good accident! I look forward to reading more of your posts!
I gave an actual voice and image for my AV and then one for my SV(sober voice) that battles my AV. SV is my zena warrior princess that has an irish accent and is tough as nails but still girly. AV is just one hot sweaty drunken mess and speaks slur. lol
I gave an actual voice and image for my AV and then one for my SV(sober voice) that battles my AV. SV is my zena warrior princess that has an irish accent and is tough as nails but still girly. AV is just one hot sweaty drunken mess and speaks slur. lol
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,644
Hi lifenlove, and welcome. Lots of help and experiences here as you mentioned you've read some.
On the AV , I'd like to mention it can be beat. I had a very loud one I gave into for years.
Now, I know how to deal with it if, on occasion, it rears its ugly head.
How about turning it around from ' I' will not drink because I don't want to go to jail'. To
' I do not drink' everything else will fall into place.
On the AV , I'd like to mention it can be beat. I had a very loud one I gave into for years.
Now, I know how to deal with it if, on occasion, it rears its ugly head.
How about turning it around from ' I' will not drink because I don't want to go to jail'. To
' I do not drink' everything else will fall into place.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 831
Originally Posted by Fiona630 
Welcome! I found SR by accident too. It was a good accident! I look forward to reading more of your posts! I gave an actual voice and image for my AV and then one for my SV(sober voice) that battles my AV. SV is my zena warrior princess that has an irish accent and is tough as nails but still girly. AV is just one hot sweaty drunken mess and speaks slur. lol
image-2597362492.jpg
My SR looks just like me only she has a pristine halo, unlike my own dented halo.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 24
Thanks jshep for the welcome, really appreciated.
It does give me strength as well.
Especially to be able to say 'I will never drink again and I will never change my mind'
makes me wonder what's next.. with all this spare time and energy .. the options are boundless
It does give me strength as well.
Especially to be able to say 'I will never drink again and I will never change my mind'
makes me wonder what's next.. with all this spare time and energy .. the options are boundless
Life is an unlikely miracle.
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: England
Posts: 1,859
Welcome lifenlove, I'm new here too, 8 days sober now !! When you feel like a drink ,get on here and post. These people are amazing. I found this site by accident too, so glad I did . Look forward to your posts.
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