Briar

You know, I sobered up one week ago to the hour. I'm still having a hard time feeling any kind of pleasure. Just kind of blank and dead. I talked about that in a LifeRing meeting today, and they told me to really focus on the things I know I enjoy sober. That was good advice, but it's weird because I've kind of forgotten a lot of that. Having to re-learn my sober life is hard. I don't really feel like I know who I am.

Dee74

I think we can underestimate the damage we do, not only physical but emotional too.
The way you're feeling now is very very common.

8 days ago you were caught up in the madness of addiction...things can, do, and will get better

D

FeelingGreat

Thanks for teaching me a new word. I hope you're feeling more pleasure in life soon, but do give your brain a chance to adjust.

least

It will get better, I promise. Give yourself more sober time. Your brain is healing and it takes time.

Conquest

I hear ya, Briar. There's a feeling that after this first week's internal battle with new sobriety, that my life should be totally different. Wouldn't it be nice if it was that easy? Haha
It's helping me to focus on finding joy in everyday happenings and small personal victories. At the end of the day, I can easily list a handful of daily accomplishments that would not have been achieved otherwise. It's little things like folded laundry, a genuine laugh, the freedom to drive anytime, etc. When added up, I can see big change is happening. Big joy must be right around the corner. We've just got to keep moving forward. Best wishes for continued success.

pupkin

I agree, give yourself more time, Briar. Don't worry or put pressure on yourself about feeling things a different way again, hard as it is. It'll come back as you heal up and stabilize.

Hawks

Hi Briar

Metaphorically .... Just put one foot in front of the other & keep walking through to the other side.

My first 3-4 weeks, literally I felt like a zombie physically & mentally, it was like all the hum, buzz & movement of a bee hive . Stuff flying around & off all the time.

Polar opposites ... I think the body gets so tired because the brain is so busy.

Its very normal ... just look at all the posts here reporting exactly the same thing.

Still ... its quite a shock when it happens.

Things improved around the 40 day mark for me ... again, reading posts, this seems typical, but each person is different & each persons "Fog" lifts in different time frames.

Its quite apt to think of it like fog. Settles in, grows thicker, when it lifts, it doesn't all vanish at once ... but as the sun warms things up, eventually, its all gone

That isn't to say it won't come back ... but generally, it doesn't come back as thick & fast as the first ever fog.

Take it easy & take care

Mags1

Hi Briar, our body and mind goes through that many changes when we stop poisoning it, it takes time to adjust.

Brilliant on one week sober.

Soberwolf

It takes time for the mind body & soul to recover

give it time good luck

bookmaven

You can't heal a broken leg in one week. Be gentle with yourself. Our disease is invisible. It will get better.

PurpleKnight

Sobriety in itself didn't create pleasure for me, it simply created a whole lot of free time and similarly I had no interests or activities to do.

Instead I needed to re learn what to do, new activities, rekindle old interests, but it's going to take time, it took years to push everything out of our lives and replace it with alcohol, so it'll take time to fill life again with things other than drinking!!

Anna

Briar, it does take time and patience but you can slowly get back to enjoying things. Hang in there.

Briar

Thank you all for the great advice. I will take it slow and try not to pressure myself. One of the ladies yesterday told me to just look into my daughter's eyes and feel the joy that brings me. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that even that doesn't make me happy right now. That makes me feel like the worst mother ever, but I have to believe it will come back and I'll be able to enjoy her so much more sober.

Hawks

I have four little ones under ten.

I fondly call them my little "serenity busters"

Very early days of sobriety......

I would have these mornings where I'm lying in bed, at 7am, no hangover, thinking ain't life grand, I'm so glad I'm sober, Woohoo I'm going to have such a marvellous day.

By 8.30 am, I'm like a cat on a hot tin roof.

Two of em go to school, my wife takes the little two off to visit Grandma's and I collapse, just fried,...... On the sofa and post on SR till I feel better.

The serenity busters strike again.

It's getting better, I got to 2pm yesterday before seeking shelter in SR and it was all four of them and just me till 1pm.

Progress, not perfection

Actually I forgot my main point in all that, I love my kids again at 90 days sober.

I nearly ran out on them, literally, I was buying a one way ticket to new zealand a month ago. I canned it last minute.

Love will come back Briar. Was what I was long windedly trying to say.

Briar

Thanks for being real, Hawks. Of course we love our kids more than anything, but parenthood is brutal, and probably more so for those of us who are perfectionistic and idealistic. It's so much easier to see our failures here and there than the big picture of we are raising great kids and they are alive, fed, clothed, getting educated, and they are loved even when we want to flee the country to get away from them. So overall, we are doing just fine. Progress over perfection, just like you said.

Nuudawn

Boy do I understand those last couple sentences (I will still have to look up the word anhedonic though).

Sobriety is one hell of an adventure in the discovery of living and learning who you are. I'm days away from 4 months of sobriety. And I am constantly learning who I am...AND who I am not. The latter makes my head spin some times.

I really thought I was quite the extroverted pull no punches kind of broad.

Ya...not so much.

I imagine this all feels overwhelming right now. But stick with it. It truly is AMAZING. Not every moment...but oh my there are magical revelations within your sober interiors.

You become a life manager...and you start becoming a bit more of an expert on yourself...which is probably one of the greatest things to be an expert on. I have miles and miles to go...but I'm waaaaaaay wiser already.

Steve123123

Hey Briar. I am in my fourth day of sobriety and how you've described your emotions are so incredibly applicable to me. I spent so many years of my life essentially training myself to have my addiction be my most powerful source of happiness.

Even if the emotional effect isn't nearly as strong as the happiness promised by the voice of my addiction, I do feel happier knowing that these feelings are not abnormal, and that you're right there with me.

P.s. A thank you from me as well for teaching me a word that I did not previously know.