Waterfalls2014

Ugh I fell off the wagon last night. I drank a 6 pack. I woke up today feeling horrible. This evening my vision got really blurred. All I could see was flashing lights for about 45 mins. I called the squad because I thought I was having a stroke. I'm fine now but this has been a big scare. I need to keep you all really close because my plan isn't working.

PurpleKnight

Glad you're alright!!

Are you getting enough support? willpower only got me so far, and if online support isn't enough, maybe some face to face options may be needed!!

Tweaking your plan is paramount if it isn't working, change things up to create new results!!

You can do this!!

huntingtontx

In my early days I stayed here a lot. The chat room, posting, just hanging out. You can do this. We are all here for you. I am glad you are doing better.

courage2

I'm with Purpleknight -- if you want to get sober and you're not making it, seek help! Stay close here, too --

Dee74

Glad you're ok.
some great advice here waterfalls - what else can you add?

D

Waterfalls2014

Thanks guys.

I have support from family and a few close friends. It's not enough.

My thinking gets flawed. The rational part of me knows it's my AV. But the scared part of me doesn't know how to deal with it all.

Clearly my body's rejecting alcohol. I'm going to check into a local support group in my area. I feel so bad, this can't happen again.

Overit23

Sorry waterfalls~hang in there take it slow one day at a time. find someone that can be a good support for you~

bigsombrero

Glad you're okay and posting. Many of us had to get help from the outside world when quitting, no shame in it. Welcome back.

Anna

I'm glad you're alright and that you are ready to stop drinking for good.

Hevyn

Waterfalls, I'm glad you posted about what happened. We all understand, and most of us have been there. You're back and ready to try harder - we know you can do this.

Waterfalls2014

Thanks. Yes I'm ready to go at it 1 million times harder now. This disease wants me dead.

freshstart57

Waterfalls, recognizing the drinking thoughts as AV has put you in the driver's seat, you are half the way to success already. The other half, what to do, is hard to describe and different for each of us. We have found a way and you can find one that is yours too.

What I do is to step back from the thought, that AV, and observe it, try to look at my situation like I am reading a book or watching a movie. Then, I just focus on my breathing, just get all focused on it. What it feels like when I breathe, what it sounds like, what my muscles are doing, how the air is cool going in, warmer going out. In a few seconds or maybe longer, the AV goes Hey Buddy, I'm talking to you, Pay attention to me dammit!, and I go through that routine again. I recognize what it is, step back from it, observe it, and then sit with my breath. In a minute, or two, that urge leaves you and you return to your rational mind again.

This works. Period. Every time, guaranteed. And each time it works, you begin to see that no matter how loud the screaming inside, this STILL always works. Then the day comes when you finally get that you don't have to do anything at all about your AV. Just stare at it, and it is gone. You are still there, sober, and stronger each time.

Waterfall, you can do this. When I say this, it is because I know you can do this. Fact. Make that decision to quit, make a plan about ever drinking again, and then get busy doing fun stuff, whatever you find satisfying. You are going to be OK. Onward!

Waterfalls2014

Thank you much Freshstart. I copied your advice and put it on my phone. I'm going to do that for sure next time it's needed

Steve123123

Great post, freshstart. You got this, Waterfalls!

Waterfalls2014

Thanks for this. I've been thinking about this for the past hour. Maybe it is a pride thing, thanks for reminding me it's ok to ask for help. That's exactly what I need reminded of.