Sad_Hazeleyes

Hello I would like to introduce myself. My name is Sad_Hazeleyes, and I am married with two children. Right now I am trying to deal with two issues in my life. I am a daughter of two parents who were alcoholics. My aunt died from alcoholism. I guess I did not see the underlining problems that were happening in my life due to being an acoa. I have suffered from severe depression to the point of being suicidal, I have self esteem problems, low self worth, and I don't have a lot of respect for myself. My therapist feels like the problems I am facing are due to abondonment issues as a child. My parents would drink every evening, as far as I can remember, and I could not really go to them for help, guidance, or love. I know they loved me, but I did not receive the love and attention that I should have received as a child. As an adult, I decided that when I have my own children that I would not do this to them. I would not become an alcoholic, and I have worked very hard not too.

Now I would like to mention my second problem, my addiction. I did not turn to alcohol, but during a severe depression, I turned to someone on the computer and became VERY attached. I have been told I am a love addict. Something that I have kept hidden from the outside world, except for my husband, he does know. This addiction causes me great pain and suffering: however, I have not been able to let go of it yet. I am a memeber of ASTR and SLAA online, but thought I might need to work on the other issue that may have caused this addiction first. I don't know if there is anyone else who has or is going through something similar to this, but I would love to share experiences, gain insight, and most importantly support.

PLEASE, I have been judged already by a supposedly recovered alcoholic, who is a member of this site, and I really could not take another person who is going to be critical or judgemental. I beat myself up enough, as it is. I really don't need that kind of help. Please only respond with support. Thanks.

VERY Sad_Hazeleyes

Anna

Hello Sad Hazeleyes,

Welcome! I'm very sorry that someone on this site has judged you and made you feel bad. This is a very safe place and you can find lots of support and understanding here.

I'm Anna, alcoholic, sober for several years. To my mind, addiction is addiction and you're absolutely right, I think, that you do need to do more than stop the obsessive behavior. Stopping drinking is only the beginning of the journey and I believe that stopping the attachment to the person on the internet is only the beginning. You need to do a voyage of self-discovery and learn more about yourself and begin to build up your self-esteem.

I do hope that you'll keep posting and be kind to yourself. That is something that all addicts need to do!

Love, Anna

Sad_Hazeleyes

Thanks Anna for your encouraging words. I really needed them today.

Chy

Hi and welcome to SR!

I'm sorry for your troubles. But please know help is available. We have several forums that will be of interest to you. Though we don't have one for internet addiction, your free to discuss it here, maybe in the General Recovery forum.

I don't know who has judged you, but I assure you it's just not the norm here. We're accepting of everyone who finds their way here, and offer the best of support. So stick around, keep posting, and continue to seek the solution. *hugs*

3legacy

((((((((Sad Hazeleyes)))))))))

My apologies if you felt judged early today.

Welcome to SoberRecovery and may it be a very enlightening experience for you.

:band

Grab a guitar, violin, or set of drum sticks and start playing with US.

Rowan

Hi SadHazeleyes
I'm glad you're here, and hope you find the support and encouragement that you need. God Bless.
Love, Rowan

vegancat

(((((Sad Hazeleyes)))) Geez....even just your name makes me want to hug you and give you cookies.

I understand not liking yourself much...I, too, have really bad self-esteem which lead to my drinking. Which makes me feel worse, Which leads to more drinking....sigh.

I'm glad you posted and joined, though.....message boards actually make me feel like I'm not so bad (now how pitiful is that, lol? I depend on message boards to boost my self-confidence cuz I can't handle talking to people in real life...). anyway, I hope you will come here and get the benefits that I have been getting; there is just something about finding out you are not alone that is immensely helpful.

lin127

Welcome Sad,
HI my name is Lin and I know the feeling of being down on yourself and depression. Talking to people face to face is difficult for me.. As everyone said look around, there is so much support and caring here. Keep posting.
Hang in there it will get better.
Lin