day 5 again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: London
Posts: 32
day 5 again.
I have know about my alcoholism for about 4 years via unheeded warnings, arguements trial separations but have not been able to stop. This is now my very last chance which to be fair may not save my marriage as the toll of my staggering around and passing out together with the paranoia and mood swings have become too much. BUT, if there is the slightest chance that I can become the man i once was I will grasp it with both hands.
I am on day 5 i live in a country where people main line beer and red wine, and its cheap, very cheap and a way of life I just no longer want it as my way of life. My daily routine was to finish what ever i was doing on our land at what ever time and then have a glass of wine, then another until pass out. Self medication for low self esteem.
I cannot bear tothink of what i have put the ones i love through but that is making me more determined especially as they still drink infront of me. But i now drink tea, i just need some help as my wife has heard it all before but cannot feel the resolve that it present in my mind. As i say day 5, temptation all around and i'm just not interested although i have ben at his point before and the "just one wont hurt demon came through" and i failed.
Sorry this is my first go at this I hope someone can make dense of it.
I am on day 5 i live in a country where people main line beer and red wine, and its cheap, very cheap and a way of life I just no longer want it as my way of life. My daily routine was to finish what ever i was doing on our land at what ever time and then have a glass of wine, then another until pass out. Self medication for low self esteem.
I cannot bear tothink of what i have put the ones i love through but that is making me more determined especially as they still drink infront of me. But i now drink tea, i just need some help as my wife has heard it all before but cannot feel the resolve that it present in my mind. As i say day 5, temptation all around and i'm just not interested although i have ben at his point before and the "just one wont hurt demon came through" and i failed.
Sorry this is my first go at this I hope someone can make dense of it.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
The culture I live in is also one that revolves around the pub and drinking in the evenings, but when I was drinking understandably that's all I could see, but there is a whole other world out there, other things to fill our time with, other people to hang out with, the reality is alcohol is not the centre of the universe.
You can turn this around, put a plan in place, change up your daily routine, SR is full of support to get you through those tough times!!
Great to have you onboard!!
The culture I live in is also one that revolves around the pub and drinking in the evenings, but when I was drinking understandably that's all I could see, but there is a whole other world out there, other things to fill our time with, other people to hang out with, the reality is alcohol is not the centre of the universe.
You can turn this around, put a plan in place, change up your daily routine, SR is full of support to get you through those tough times!!
Great to have you onboard!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Welcome to SR, gottostop, and congratulations on Day 5.
I have found the drinking culture to be rather strong wherever I have gone. I was in your country 5 years ago (on a pilgrimage to Fatima for my dying sister) and really enjoyed your beautiful country. I have to say that your port wine was amazing but that and any other kind of wine (which was my poison) is now history for me. I have found that there is a non-drinking life to be enjoyed - who knew?! - and it is truly very, very good. You can put the damage behind you, rebuild and move on.
SR is a wonderful place for support, encouragement and understanding. There is also an abundance of information on alcoholism on the site; take a look around.
Again, welcome.
I have found the drinking culture to be rather strong wherever I have gone. I was in your country 5 years ago (on a pilgrimage to Fatima for my dying sister) and really enjoyed your beautiful country. I have to say that your port wine was amazing but that and any other kind of wine (which was my poison) is now history for me. I have found that there is a non-drinking life to be enjoyed - who knew?! - and it is truly very, very good. You can put the damage behind you, rebuild and move on.
SR is a wonderful place for support, encouragement and understanding. There is also an abundance of information on alcoholism on the site; take a look around.
Again, welcome.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,867
Originally Posted by gottostop38 
is it possible to do this without AA, family support is limited as well as i also have bipolar
It appears that effective support systems and methods are unique to each person; keep trying until you find one that is a good fit for you - AA, AVRT, Celebrate Recovery, therapy, etc.
Are you in treatment/therapy for your bipolar condition?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: London
Posts: 32
Thanks guys, i am in treatment for the Bipolar although it would seem the two coexist quite frequently, i have spoken to my phsychatrist about my excessive drinking but she had already guessed i think.
My wife drinks wine in the same room as me, and at the moment the smell is making me want to vomit and i 've never really been a beer drinker so can only be good signs from a craving respect.
well here goes for day 7. But i have i have been here before,although i personally feel its a milestone. Thanks for all the support and good luck to everyone.
My wife drinks wine in the same room as me, and at the moment the smell is making me want to vomit and i 've never really been a beer drinker so can only be good signs from a craving respect.
well here goes for day 7. But i have i have been here before,although i personally feel its a milestone. Thanks for all the support and good luck to everyone.
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