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and then there was light

Old 10-14-2014, 12:23 PM
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and then there was light

I am at work on a rainy dreary Fort Wayne , Indiana day. Today we have beautiful trees with vibrantly colored leaves and the air has an earthy scent. Dirt and decaying leaves .The next six months will be predominantly overcast and I always feel like the sky has lowered and rested on the treetops. I get something like claustrophobia when summer ends and the plants begin to die. It is depressing for me.
In October of 2009 I broke my sober run of five years. I started with mouthwash. Yep, it is gross. I learned about alcohol in mouthwash from alcohol classes I had to take as part of my sentence for an arrest for drunk driving. I blew a 2.25 the day I was hauled off to jail. I think the limit is .08. So , I was pretty hammered.
Anyway, I had managed to get and stay sober as a result of that conviction until that October day in 09. The next 3 or so years I spent in a drunken hell. I was in bad shape.
On a Monday in morning in October 2012, I was sitting at the computer suffering from a hangover and I typed something like , "I have been sober for half a day". I hit enter and I found SoberRecovery.

There is a healing energy that comes from interacting with the people here.
I believe that the moderators and are truly heaven sent. I made a couple friends here that became personal supports for me.

I went through a tough time. I spent 9 days in my bathrobe. I posted and read. I ate whenever I felt a need to drink. I think I took Advil pm so I could sleep. I was afraid to leave the house. I ordered and read books from the suggested reading list. They were empowering. This place is empowering.
I have two words for SR . Healing and Empowering.

My Awesome:
I have not had a single sip of alcohol since I came here October 14, 2012.

The other day while I was driving home I thought about a drink. Something about this season always torments me. I thought about the tatse and feel of a shot of whiskey. Take off the chill.
How sneaky addiction can be, hmmm.
"I will never drink alcohol again" I said out loud. Over and over until my mind stops responding with a ," Really, never?"" Never.
Second year sober today. Thank you SoberRecovery. I am so grateful for you .
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:51 PM
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2 Years is Fantastic!! Happy anniversary!!
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:54 PM
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2 years is fantastic well done
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:08 PM
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2 years...HELL YEA!!!
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:14 PM
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Oh how your post made me smile!

How wonderful! Well done, and you give hope with your story.
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:23 PM
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I think your post just made my day! So happy for you.
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:35 PM
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Great post escapist!

I also quit drinking for the thousandth time in 2009.

Lasted until Christmas 2009.

Took me until March of 2013 to quit again.

I will soon be at 19 months.

Thanks to SR and posts like yours this is the longest I have been sober in over 43 years.
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:38 PM
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I can hardly fail to respond to a thread involving light. In quick succession I have run across two threads that have referred to winter weather and its relationship to drinking, so I will post this in both. I suffer from this.

If you find yourself feeling unpleasantly different, or depressed during the winter months, it could be due to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This can be brought about by inadequate exposure to sunlight. In the winter months (or even with prolonged cloudy weather) some people find that their mood changes and that they can become more moody. Often this takes the form of some degree of depression. Sometimes it can be brought on by just the anticipation of a winter season.

My fix for it involved moving to a tropical climate (and its much longer winter days), exercise and food supplements.

Learn about it. There's lots that can be done to combat it.
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:45 PM
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Awesome job on the two years!

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Old 10-14-2014, 01:50 PM
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That's wonderful, 2 years is fantastic!
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Old 10-14-2014, 02:34 PM
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Old 10-14-2014, 02:35 PM
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I agree with your sentiments.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:06 PM
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Escapist, we are so proud of you. Thanks for a heartfelt post. Two years is huge.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:32 PM
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Big hugs and congrats on reaching two years sober!
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:35 PM
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Congratulations escapist

D
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:37 PM
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Fabulous post. I'm so grateful you're here & you shared your story.

Keep blazing a trail!
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:38 PM
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Thank you for posting today.

Congratulations. Winter will not win, nor will the drink!

I can relate to the loss of the sky being depressing. I'm in Seattle - same/same. No mountains till April.
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Old 10-14-2014, 04:39 PM
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This is SO GREAT! Congratulations to you!!!
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Old 10-14-2014, 06:11 PM
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I think you are truly amazing! Always nice to read a post from you! Much love xo
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Old 10-14-2014, 07:04 PM
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Thank you for this post, escapist. And, congratulations on this amazing accomplishment!
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