Some bad things happened last week
Some bad things happened last week
Hi SR,
I havent posted in awhile because I have just been exhausted. Last week, someone at work blamed something on me and the security cam showed that only me and the person who accused me of it could have done it. However, I know it wasnt me. Even considering possible mistakes, the only way it could have been me is if I was very quick and malicious. BTW, this was nothing really bad at all. The thing that happened only brings my word into question. There were no laws broke or anything like that. Infact, if it were me, I would admit it and wouldn't get in trouble at all.
The problem is.. it wasnt me. Therefore, it had to be her. I also dont like pointing fingers so it put me in a horrible place. I deeply respect the people I work with and don't want them to question my honesty.
Anyway, its all over now and know people still trust me but it put me in such a crazy mental place. I was even feeling guilt but knew it wasnt me. It was nuts.
I am day 73 now and this whole thing was so new to me. The situation as well as being sober to deal with it on my free time. I wasnt tempted to drink because I know where that leads but it was just a horrible experience.
It's amazing how quiting drinking was step one and navigating life is the second. I guess I assumed that if I quit everything would be fine. I think in the past I would have drank in the evenings and eventually it would be forgotten. I am so glad I quit to face all things.. good and bad. It's just, false accusations?!? What kind of curveball was that!
Have any of you had these type of bad things occur during early sobriety?
How did you cope while in early stages of "facing reality"?
I feel okay now but still feel way off-base from my normal happy self.
-SC
I havent posted in awhile because I have just been exhausted. Last week, someone at work blamed something on me and the security cam showed that only me and the person who accused me of it could have done it. However, I know it wasnt me. Even considering possible mistakes, the only way it could have been me is if I was very quick and malicious. BTW, this was nothing really bad at all. The thing that happened only brings my word into question. There were no laws broke or anything like that. Infact, if it were me, I would admit it and wouldn't get in trouble at all.
The problem is.. it wasnt me. Therefore, it had to be her. I also dont like pointing fingers so it put me in a horrible place. I deeply respect the people I work with and don't want them to question my honesty.
Anyway, its all over now and know people still trust me but it put me in such a crazy mental place. I was even feeling guilt but knew it wasnt me. It was nuts.
I am day 73 now and this whole thing was so new to me. The situation as well as being sober to deal with it on my free time. I wasnt tempted to drink because I know where that leads but it was just a horrible experience.
It's amazing how quiting drinking was step one and navigating life is the second. I guess I assumed that if I quit everything would be fine. I think in the past I would have drank in the evenings and eventually it would be forgotten. I am so glad I quit to face all things.. good and bad. It's just, false accusations?!? What kind of curveball was that!
Have any of you had these type of bad things occur during early sobriety?
How did you cope while in early stages of "facing reality"?
I feel okay now but still feel way off-base from my normal happy self.
-SC
Sounds like you did a pretty good job of handling this sober yourself SC, nice job! Doing your best at whatever it is you do, being honest and upfront is usually the best medicine. People notice that long term. It's not comfortable sometimes but the more you do it the better you get at it and the better you feel.
Good Job SC!
I have started to once again trust my instincts - soberly!
Had an issue the other day with 18 year old son. In the past when I talked to him I would have had zero credibility - even when on point. From both him and my wife.
Today, that has changed. A feeling of Dad is back becomes more pervasive. Engaged / not detached - coherent and lucid.
As Scot stated, it becomes cumulative with others seeing the difference. And, I would suggest our instincts become regenerated.
fly
I have started to once again trust my instincts - soberly!
Had an issue the other day with 18 year old son. In the past when I talked to him I would have had zero credibility - even when on point. From both him and my wife.
Today, that has changed. A feeling of Dad is back becomes more pervasive. Engaged / not detached - coherent and lucid.
As Scot stated, it becomes cumulative with others seeing the difference. And, I would suggest our instincts become regenerated.
fly
I'm sorry you had to go through that SC but I'm glad you got through it sober
For me, knowing that I've done my best and I've stuck to my principles is a great comfort when I'm accused of something.
Accusations won't hurt me, but self doubt and resentment might.
I just busy myself in my work and move along
D
For me, knowing that I've done my best and I've stuck to my principles is a great comfort when I'm accused of something.
Accusations won't hurt me, but self doubt and resentment might.
I just busy myself in my work and move along
D
When I was 3 months into recovery, my daughter, 19 at the time, had a stalker. It was not an ex-boyfriend, no one she knew, but a complete and crazy stranger. He had been following her for months, broke into her apartment, stole photos, threatened to kill both her boyfriend and my husband. The police didn't care at all, not a bit. We ended up moving her in the middle of the night. It was a nightmare and I remember thinking many times 'If I can get through this without drinking, I can get through anything'.
Use this experience SoberComposer, as a tool in your recovery.
Use this experience SoberComposer, as a tool in your recovery.
Thanks everyone! I very much enjoyed reading every post. This experience was a big shake-up for me. I read online that when accused of something you didnt do, the best thing is to state your knowledge of the situation and leave it at that. For some reason thoigh it meant everything to me to PROVE to everyone that it wasnt me. This just created more problems. After much thought, I was like WHY was it so important that I prove to everyone I am innocent of the accusation, after all the incident was not that big of a deal. After thinking though, I noticed lifelong patterns of wanting everyone to like me. Then I started noticing in the google search links that child abandonment syndrome had nearly every symptom that are my patterns of behavior. I am always devastated when a breakup ends and in ecstacy while in them. And I perfer not being close to anyone, amoung other things.
Anyway.. it's just amazing that I covered all of this up with alcohol and never understood why my life was so hard and unfullfilling. So, I learned many good lessons from that experience and also have these abandonment issues with my Father and best friend who became a drug addict and junkie. I now look forward to better understanding how I can overcome this and may look for a councilor to assist.
It seems that quiting alcohol is the ultimate adventure in self-discovery for us.
Thank you SoberRecovery for being there for me and supporting me!
Anyway.. it's just amazing that I covered all of this up with alcohol and never understood why my life was so hard and unfullfilling. So, I learned many good lessons from that experience and also have these abandonment issues with my Father and best friend who became a drug addict and junkie. I now look forward to better understanding how I can overcome this and may look for a councilor to assist.
It seems that quiting alcohol is the ultimate adventure in self-discovery for us.
Thank you SoberRecovery for being there for me and supporting me!
For some reason thoigh it meant everything to me to PROVE to everyone that it wasnt me.
If there's one gift recovery has given me, it's some measure of internal validation and my letting go of the need for others approval...and a little faith that the truth will always out
D
I think when I first got sober I wanted it be the magic bullet that would make life perfect so I would never experience any problems again. (I guess that is what we used to think alcohol did, until reality hit us upside the head?!?) Anyway, when I started dealing with emotions and problems sober they were truly overwhelming, but I got used to it. Interestingly, I was reflecting on my year of sobriety and I was thinking to myself, "Well, maybe I was able to get sober because it was an "easy" year." Well, then I reflected about what had happened this past year, and this included an unexpected move to a new house (after having moved less than two years ago), my eldest son applying for college, getting accepted, graduating high school and leaving for college, my other son being diagnosed with epilepsy, among other things that many people would consider stressful. The thing is that I happily realized that being sober changed my perspective. Problems and situations that used to spiral me, I was able to handle in a calmer, more serene manner. You did very well handling this issue and it will only serve to strengthen your sobriety.
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