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Day 1 has started horrible

Old 10-14-2014, 12:17 AM
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Day 1 has started horrible

Well at midnight began my "official" start to sobriety. I started my night last night by going over to my girlfriend's place. When I got there I knew something was wrong. She basically told me she wanted a break. She said she knows I've been using, and she asked me a few weeks back and I lied and said no. I didn't come clean to her because I was scared I'd lose her, and now I have. This drug has taken the biggest part of my life away. I made a promise to her that I quit before, but didn't. I am so ready to make this change. This time I have no choice, I have no friends, I asked my girlfriend for help getting clean, she said sure, but she doesn't really know what she could do. I really didn't know, because I haven't done this before. It's just horrible timing, all this...I don't want to go through this alone. Anyone have any advice on how I can incorporate my girlfriend in to my recovery. I want her to be as much a part of this as possible. I want to show her I can get clean, I want to show myself I can live sober.
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:24 AM
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You may not like this... but...

I think you need to make this recovery for you, not for keeping your girlfriend around or any other external reason.

The reason I say that is because unless you really want this - for you - you may struggle to find the continued motivation.

If your girlfriend wants a break, give her a break. I know that's hard to do, but it really is the right thing to do.

Making your gf in any way responsible for your recovery is, most likely, a disaster waiting to happen. Been there.


If you guys are meant to be together you will be

D
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:31 AM
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I'm sorry
I think you need to start your recovery yourself and then hopefully she will see that you are serious about this and you can see how things go with her. Do the research, get yourself in a group, do everything you can to get clean. But you have to do this for yourself not to keep your girlfriend. You can do this! And just think how much better your life will be in a few weeks and months
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:31 AM
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Hi Slumerican,
I agree with Dee, relationships are fragile they aren't up to pressures of quitting.
Get clean for you and show her you mean what you say.

All the best.
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:34 AM
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Thanks Dee, I know, I need to give her space. I am definitely getting clean for myself before anyone else. I've always wanted to, but could never A)Have a strong enough motivation or B)Stick with it. I'm just in a panic right now I guess. Trying to think of anyway to keep her close to me. Although she is now my main motivation, I am going to stay focused on my overall goal. That is to rid my body of these poisons, and stay clean. To get my health back on track, physically, spiritually, and mentally. That's what I want, that's what I need
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:38 AM
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the good news is...there's amazing support here - 24/7

D
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:29 AM
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The first time I tried to get sober I said I was doing it for me and a part of it was but the other half rested on someone else.

The more I wanted to drink the more I felt resentment for the other person. They were the reason I could not drink. They were controlling. They were keeping tabs on me. They were keeping me from doing what I wanted to do, even in recovery. They, They, They....

I ended the relationship and eventually drank again because I did not have them looking over my shoulder. I blamed them for a long time.

Take it on day at a time. When we get sober we may get our health back on track, along with feeling better physically, spiritually, and mentally but it does not happen overnight. It takes time and that is something we are not used to. I wanted instant gratification. Take it slow and steady.

If you and your GF are meant to be then it will happen but the first step is getting sober.
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Old 10-14-2014, 01:50 AM
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Yeah you can do it. The first few days are hard but only a few days and then you need to use every tool and method you can.
Loads of help here.
Plan to fill time, reading TV series bed early etc.
Count days and be proud of each and everyone, recognise the disappointment of failure and avoid it.
Eat well, and sweet drinks can help.
This is the time to get your life back , no shackles of addiction.
From now on ! Never give up giving up till,ts done.
Good luck with everything.
John.
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Old 10-14-2014, 10:55 AM
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Thanks you guys! Some times seem harder than others, but it will get better. Reading SR is really helping me through all this, and proves it can get better.
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:00 PM
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Good to hear slumerican
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Slumerican View Post
It's just horrible timing, all this...I don't want to go through this alone. Anyone have any advice on how I can incorporate my girlfriend in to my recovery. I want her to be as much a part of this as possible. I want to show her I can get clean, I want to show myself I can live sober.
We have a lot of politicians that are sorry......they got caught!

Horrible timing? Well, maybe not! You're not in jail or dead, so the timing sounds perfect.

Not meaning to be harsh - love your handle btw. But a decision to get sober has to be one of serious, life changing commitment. If you ask tenured folks on SR to speak up if they ever got caught by a loved one and promised in the heat of the moment to quit but didn't there would be a lot of talking.

She can help make you accountable and attend support for addicts, but ultimately you have to own your recovery.

If serious, make a plan - if not sure how, read threads. SoberWolf has a link to sobriety plan and FreeOwl posted some great advice about her program recently. Check those out......

Glad your here, keep posting!
Sobriety is great and YOU are so worth it!!!

peace
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:28 PM
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Good news, You won't go through this alone. You will find many people here who can help you through this. It is so cool. Trust me.
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