poorlouis

Hi all,

I've been here a few times wanting to get and remain sober. I started with a feeble attempt resulting in a few consecutive days of sobriety. This summer I went a record 5 weeks straight without a drink, started getting bored of the sober life, gently tip-toed off of the wagon and basically started rolling down the hill at top spin, essentially winding up exactly where I had been before I stopped within a few days. Now for the first time in about 5 years, I have a really good job. This has been keeping me out of trouble... except for on the weekends! Three weekends in a row I have basically spent 2 days recovering from my Friday night binge. This weekend, since it was a long one, I managed to fit two binges in. And man am I paying the price! My wife is terribly concerned because I am a Type 1 Diabetic, and am supposed to limit my drinking to 2 a day max. Two for me turns into 12 in a hurry. I have a three-year-old son, a beautiful wife, a good job, but I can screw it all up if I get drunk, forget to look after my blood sugars or something, pass out and never wake up! My wife actually cried about it last night as I stumbled into the house after having "a few" out back with my brother... more like a dozen or so.

I need to stop. Period. Thanks for listening.

Pups

Thanks for your post poorlouis. I've been a chronic relapser and had periods of recovery but never happiness and never long lasting. I'm having to look real deep. I can say I'm an alcoholic. I'm powerless. I need help. I'm screwed. I destroying my life. But I have to ask do I really believe all that because if i don't words are cheap. I'm realising I have one choice drink and be miserable and destroy and lose even more than I already have. Because it, they and them always eventually get fed up and leave or do I want to look honestly at my life and my alcoholism and change and be happy. I'm early days and I just don't want to destroy my life any more with booze. Maybe its the same for you?? I try never to give advice or tell someone what to do because well meaning people did that with me and it wasn't the right advice. I just try to share my experience and honesty is what I'm looking at daily and I'm getting quite a shock. Honesty. Hope that helps or was it just a ramble. Lol. Not too sure. I'm doing two things at once. . Anyways all the best.

Dee74

welcome back louis

Now's a great time to build a foolproof plan for next weekend - any ideas?

D

poorlouis

No, not really. I mean, I love my job but it is very stressful... so usually around 2 PM of my last shift I start thinking about what to drink. I can't exercise because of health problems, so I can't beat stress that way. Hmmm... Maybe I'll duct tape myself to the couch and watch Netflix all weekend! When I quit for 5 weeks this summer, I watched the first two seasons of The Killing in three days... that's 26 episodes. Nothing to be proud of, but it kept me out of trouble.

It's so tough. I live in a little ski/golf town. Everyone drinks and/or gets crazy into outdoor sports here. When I don't drink, I essentially turn into a hermit.

Any suggestions?

brickthrowing

Nothing wrong with Netflix…I did that when I had to keep occupied.

I also got a used Playstation cuz it was blue ray player too and then tried video games.

It worked to keep me busy when I needed it, and as a by product helped my eye hand coordination.

It kept me from drinking

poorlouis

I'm not much of a gamer but we do have an old xbox and some decent games. Maybe I'll drop a few hours doing that. Good idea, thanks.

Anna

If Netflix works, go for it.

How about reading something new? Maybe go to a music concert or just listen to some music at home? Or how about volunteering in your town and doing something to give back? Maybe you could spend some extra time with your 3year old? Kids that age are like sponges, ready to soak up any information you pass their way.

Soberwolf

50 Essential Tips To Help You Stay Clean And Sober

hope this helps

fini

something that keeps the hands busy and needs a new focus.

learn to knit.
oh? why not???

cook.

hang up a shelf.

clean out a closet.

get out the guitar.

that kind of thing.

Lusher

It's tough to make this change. It's tough to know when you 'had enough.' I know it's impossible for me to put the brakes on.

I won't allow myself to be put in the situation that's too tempting. It sucks sometimes, but as time goes on and as I begin to reinvent myself, I'm finding myself not quite as bored. I'm still growing myself, in this new change. From the short time that I've been part of this forum, it sounds as if many of us share your same feelings

You have a good job and that's huge. That's something to be very proud of and something that might not be worth risking for getting a drunk on.

It does get boring, I know, but hang in there. There's little doubt that as time goes by, and as you yourself change, so will these feelings of boredom.

pupkin

Wishing you the best, louis. I'm a big reader but nothing's better than Netflix for getting through early days. . .fire it up I say Do more when you can do more. Meantime hang in there.

doggonecarl

Show your brother this post, and reiterate your decision to quit. And if he can't support you by not encouraging you drink, you need to put up some bounderies to ensure you and your brother aren't "having a few" anymore.

zeppodog

Hang in there, working on day four myself again. I'm 62 and am sure I will be dead soon if I don't stop. I always thought if I'm an alcoholic I'm functioning well, always had a good job, raised my kids to be good adults, have a great wife, well I'm not functioning anymore. Hang in there. There are many people here going thru the same thing, many of them after many try's.

halfvictory

welcome poorlouis! I am only on day 2 but like you, my weekends were/are the worst. I can "handle" drinks during the week; rarely going past 3 but weekends hit and the floodgates open.

Stay strong

rvrnbch4

Your story is just like mine. I was sober for 5 weeks over the summer, then I started to slowly slip back into it. I'm on day 1 again, but I have to stop before something bad happens. You got this, good luck.

Arbor

All you can do is try. It's hard I know. We all know. Why do we continue to poison ourselves when we know how it will make us feel later? I think it's fear of change. We can't let it go even though it's not working anymore. The romantic vision in your head is a lie. Time to move forward. That's what life is all about. Moving forward. You've made the right step in posting here. Good luck.

jryan19982

No better time than today to do it again. I felt helpless at first. I felt like trash at first, and felt like I could do no good. I knew what I was doing was wrong... At the same time I knew that if I stuck with it, times would get better. And they really have. Sure bad days here and there, but normal people have bad days from time to time. Just do what you have to do to make your life better for you, your wife, and your kid. Your kid is going to want a father that is present and not just there/buzzed. It is really amazing, that I just lived my life buzzed in one way or another, and didnt pay attention to my family, what they were doing, how they felt, and the small joys my kids have. I now feel really happy that I am noticing the small things, being present while they are experiencing those joys, and being happy that I can take part in them. Anything from going outside for a walk (and picking flowers), to riding a bike, to playing a board game, or just talking about their day. We never know how much time we have left with the people you care about, so I try and live in the moment with them.

poorlouis

Thanks. I read like crazy, too. And I have quite a few books in queue!

poorlouis

In my bro's defense, he was around when my wife expressed how upset she was. He felt terrible and left immediately. The boundaries are tough, though, because we play in a band together. Funny, the five weeks I was sober, our band got way more accomplished! When I am trying to be sober, my brother (a daily heavy drinker) just stops coming around. He supports my being sober because of my health, and knows I'm much better for it, but when I am off the booze, aside from our playing music together once a week, I'd probably never see him. And he lives half a block away.

Soberwolf

i recomend the tao of pooh