seaside

Hi, everyone.....o.k. a hopefully short background...
did a 30 day inpatient in 1988....sober 11 yrs....did a 30 day inpatient in 1999. 13 years sober....been drinking off and on for 2 yrs....I'm 51 yrs old, own my own business, have a wonderful supportive family. Everything exploded on Friday night. My mother, who lives in the same neighborhood as I came over to visit and found me falling down drunk....crying, help me, blah blah blah the whole ball of wax..I don't remember it all....Soooo called the rehab place I was at 15 yrs ago...no bed available. Next my sister who is a recovering alcoholic for quite awhile now called and said the last time she detoxed she did it at home with her family. A tapering/step down. I decided since there was no room at the rehab I would give it a try. Now on day 2/3 it seems to be working and I am working. Journaling, talking with supportive people, surfing. Everything I remember from rehab....Finally, here is my request for advice. I did not tell my mother the plan for detox. Probably should have, but she called and has decided that Tough Love is the way to go....Calling...When are you going to the doctor. You know your actions affect the whole family, not just you. How is your husband? Is he going to leave you? You could cause your business to go under...I was so upset I just wanted off the phone...Ok is she right?? yes. but could there be a better approach...I don't even want to talk to her anymore as of now...or am I being a jerk...

PurpleKnight

There's always a different approach when it comes to outsiders looking in on our drinking, the problem is we can't expect them to understand, they do what they think is right the only way they know how, and that's from the eyes of a non alcoholic, so it can come across harsher than we'd prefer.

Your mum is the least of your worries at the moment to be honest, how you're going to rebuild longterm Sobriety and managing this tapering approach should be top of the list, other people will have their opinions and views, and as it's your mum, it's coming from a place of good intentions, concerned for her daughter.

But you need to now focus on how to get Sober and make that your priority!!

You can do this!!

trachemys

Sounds like two people on the raw emotional edge to me. Both of you justifiably so. Maybe get your sister to run a little interference for you. Don't develop grudges to hold while you're going through this.

Aiko

Sorry Seaside you fell back...

Go to a doctor feel sick, if you can not go in rehab, ask for help If someone can stay with you, just keep busy on the web, go walking, swimming, try AA meetings ,they are not so scary when you go...But stay away from bars, situations, etc...

When you are sober for a while every thing is clear and you will be able to solve your family problems and have a better relationship with your wife...
but first you need to get straight! with time it gets better

Hope you decide you have had enough and stand to it.
You got out before you get out again, and learn from it!

Anna

I hope that the tapering down works for you. It's really, really difficult for alcoholics to manage that.

I don't think you should worry about talking to your mother at this time. Focus on what you need to do and have people around you who support you.