Friends?
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Hard to say. As much as you can have trust and confide deep things to people, I do it as much here (or more) than I do to people in my real life. Of course, we don't really know anybody here all the way; what we know of one another is our best foot forward, for the most part. True friends see the warts and forgive us anyway.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Airwick,
I share things here that I don't share with anyone. I have 'gotten to know' some folks here, and the way they deal with others decides whether I trust them. there are a lot of compassionate and wise folks here
When times are toughest for me, this is where I run to-to those I consider friends.
I share things here that I don't share with anyone. I have 'gotten to know' some folks here, and the way they deal with others decides whether I trust them. there are a lot of compassionate and wise folks here
When times are toughest for me, this is where I run to-to those I consider friends.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Like Dee, I would say I certainly have friends here. And I know of some members here who have eventually met in person. I've never done that, but I do have phone numbers for a couple of people here and have talked to them on the phone.
I wouldn't say I put my best foot forward here. I'm open about sharing my struggles and character defects yet everyone here is always very supportive no matter what I share.
I wouldn't say I put my best foot forward here. I'm open about sharing my struggles and character defects yet everyone here is always very supportive no matter what I share.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Put it this way: there are definitely people here that I feel tremendous friendship toward and have tremendous respect for. My loyalty toward some people here is greater than my loyalty to many people in "real life." What does that mean?
I'm not sure if the folks count me as their true friends, but I am.
I'm not sure if the folks count me as their true friends, but I am.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
I've definitely "met" some truly interesting, fascinating and helpful people here on SR, and I think I've also developed a pretty high level of mutual respect with a few. Some of these connections were most important and intense in a specific phase of my/our recovery and time here on the boards, others seem to be broader, more general and more stable. Some people I recognized and consider really likeminded people and would recognize them anywhere based on the familiarity, others are interesting for traits that are more different from mine, and usually it's a mix. Just like the diversity of personalities here, there is definitely a wellspring of different kinds of connections and relationships one can find here. In my view, there is no need to label these. It's been very valuable for me in many ways.
One thing I consider important in this context (and also in the 3D world): not to get overly attached to anyone in a way that their potential disappearance could do harm or compromise my well-being and sobriety. People come and go here, in the physical world, everywhere... I think it's important to appreciate these interpersonal connections most in the moment and treasure them as long as they last. We all have had friendships in the past, some of which we carry in ourselves far beyond their practical existence, current ongoing ones, and we never know what potentially wonderful new connections await in the future. For me, friendship is in constant flux, just like life in general, and is best enjoyed as a process with open end.
One thing I consider important in this context (and also in the 3D world): not to get overly attached to anyone in a way that their potential disappearance could do harm or compromise my well-being and sobriety. People come and go here, in the physical world, everywhere... I think it's important to appreciate these interpersonal connections most in the moment and treasure them as long as they last. We all have had friendships in the past, some of which we carry in ourselves far beyond their practical existence, current ongoing ones, and we never know what potentially wonderful new connections await in the future. For me, friendship is in constant flux, just like life in general, and is best enjoyed as a process with open end.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
I have met one SR member and consider her a friend but I have many 'Cyber Friends' that I cherish here too! I can say from my own personal experience though that Haennie is absolutely right and if you develop too much of a bond with someone here and they disappear or ignore you, it can really hurt.
Personal boundaries are a good thing with Cyber Friends....
Personal boundaries are a good thing with Cyber Friends....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Here I meet with all my SR friends. I have been on for a bit and I am starting to recognize names and get to know people (by what they post). I love my SR friends, never sugar coating the tough things, always understanding and always supportive. I really value all my SR friends.
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