Yurt

After a nasty evening, a couple of weeks ago, I told separated AH that I would be contacting a para legal to initiate our divorce, and so today was the day. I invited AH, and he arrived at the meeting place with all of the info that I asked for. It went well, and AH was very reasonable. When I excused myself to the restroom and came back, AH was explaining to the para that the reason we were divorcing was because he has Lupus and I was not able to tolerate his mood swings. I just gave him a look, and he shut up. I didn't take it any further because it would not accomplish anything. But he really thinks that he is taking the high road and making me look like a heartless skank. My former neighbor called me this afternoon to tell me that AH has suddenly started to be pleasant to her. Says he told her the same thing regarding the split.
Well, apparently I only have to wait about 60 to 90 days for this to be over. We will still have a youngster in college to co-parent, but it will be on a different level than we are at now.

lillamy

Yurt, my friend, you need to go shopping.
You need yourself one of these:

Amazon.com: Fox House M.D. It's Not Lupus Navy T-Shirt Tee: Movie And Tv Fan T Shirts: Clothing

And I hope this is over as soon as possible. (((hugs)))

Yurt

Last night, I went to the HS football game to watch DD play in the band and met up with a woman that used to work at the school where I now teach. I had been feeling a bit sorry for AH and his diagnosis (not sorry enough to return, BTW), and discovered that the friend had gone through similar circumstances 10 years prior. We sat and compared AH notes, completing each other's sentences throughout the conversation.
I find it to be amazing that the person that I needed to talk to was there, just when I needed her.
I am feeling very thankful for my higher power for bringing just the right people into my life at just the right times.

Yurt

Maybe I will get one of those t-shirts after all. STBXAH went to see a specialist and was told...that it is NOT Lupus!

FireSprite

I love when those serendipitous moments happen. The right person at the right time can make all the difference in the world.

So glad to hear things are going well for you!

lillamy

It's NEVER lupus!!! Trust Dr. House!!

(I'm glad you're able to keep a sense of humor about this. If we don't laugh, we'll cry.)

hopeful4

HA!!!!

I would have loved to hear the Paralegal's thoughts as he was spewing that out.....


Karma....our dear friend....

lizatola

Yurt, you are a step ahead of me. I have a feeling my AH will be playing on people's heartstrings and making me look like a bad guy. I am so glad that I don't care anymore, LOL! Good for you, and so glad that you found someone who could understand what you are dealing with. It's always nice to have someone to talk to!

Missus

I know lupus is a real thing, and no fun to have, but thanks to Dr House it's just hard to take it seriously - buy the t shirt, consider it a souvenir

SoloMio

When AH was doing coke, back in the 80s, I was doing all the heavy lifting with the 3 kids, plus our home was being foreclosed on. So I found the most adorable little house we could afford to rent on a lake in a nice town, but I needed AHs paycheck to make it happen. I told him that I expected to see him home that night with his paycheck (I was young (32) and foolish--but then again, now I'm 62 and still foolish). Of course he never showed up, and every moment that went by the cute little lake house turned into nothing but a dream. There was no Plan C. This was Plan B, and it, like Plan A, had evaporated into thin air.

I was despondent, and I remember just lying on my bed, devoid of any feeling except despair.

Then came a knock on the door. I roused myself and answered, and it was the mother of one of my son's friends, asking if he could come over (our phone had been disconnected, so people had to stop by if they wanted to talk to me).

I don't know why or how I hinted at what was going on in my life, but as soon as this stranger caught my drift, she started telling me about her ex-husband with similar issues. She said, "I'll be right back," and in short order she had gotten someone to watch both my son and hers, and she came with a bottle of wine and we sat and talked, and saved me from myself.

I never got over how God sent that angel to me, just when I needed her. It was the first time I felt I wasn't alone.

Yurt

The Paralegal finally finished the paperwork and I signed it all yesterday. He had to come into my classroom and wait about 10 minutes since he arrived just as I was having my kiddos transition to our afternoon of pumpkin activities. He seemed to be entertained, at least. He said he would file on Monday, serve my STBXAH, and then I wait 62 days.
Finally....
I went to DD's final marching band football game performance, and sat in the stands with AH. 4 years of marching band and football games, and this was the 2nd one that he has seen. This was because.....the games interfered with his drinking (of course, it was either his bad back or, lately, his "Lupus"). Last night was Senior Night, which meant that we both got to escort her across the field as she was introduced. Seemed a bit surreal, but we managed to sit together afterwards and have some light conversation. As we were getting ready to leave after half-time, I observed him as he gave me an angry glance. Not sure why, but makes me realize that I am moving in the right direction.

LexieCat

Hey, even if he IS acting all reasonable for the sake of impressing others (and, by implication, making you look bad), take it and run with it. It won't hurt you in the long run, but having him bring the necessary paperwork and be cooperative (to whatever extent) will only benefit you. You might even smile at him and say, "Thanks for not making this unnecessarily difficult."

Congrats on what you've managed to accomplish!

CodeJob

Senior year. So many last things. Very exciting and nerve wracking time! Enjoy!