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My sister's on a downward spiral... help?

Old 10-09-2014, 04:16 PM
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My sister's on a downward spiral... help?

Hi everyone.

I'm very worried about my sister. I would say she drinks a bottle of wine a day, some days combined with hard liquor. This has probably gone on for 10 months or more.

In addition, she smokes around 2 packs of cigarettes a day. She drinks Coca Cola like it was water. She's also on antidepressants.

She has diabetes and she eats enough to keep her glucose in check, but otherwise she won't eat for a whole day "because I drank too much to eat". She always has cigarettes and alcohol in the house, but food is never a priority.

The minute something upsets her, she'll start drinking. A few weeks ago she asked me to bring her wine to work because she got in a fight with a coworker. She's not drinking while driving yet, but she's showing no signs of improvement so I'm scared that's coming next. A few weeks ago she fell down the stairs and hit her face quite badly after she had a few.

We've tried talking to her about it (myself and a couple close friends) but she only got mad at us for "nagging her about her habits". She doesn't want to do anything about it and I don't know how to handle it.

I understand that I can't help somebody forcefully if they refuse to help themselves, but it's my sister and I can't just stand back. It's been keeping me up for quite a few nights now and I was hoping I could get a few words of wisdom on how to cope with this situation.

Thank you
S
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Old 10-09-2014, 04:26 PM
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Unfortunatly your sister is the deciding factor in this its her choice

maybe when she is sober show her this print it hope it helps nice to meet you

50 Essential Tips To Help You Stay Clean And Sober
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Old 10-09-2014, 04:42 PM
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I hope your sister decides to seek support for her addiction.

For you, you could check out AlAnon in your area and there is a forum on this board for Friends & Families of Alcoholics.
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Old 10-10-2014, 01:47 AM
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Hi and welcome to SR littlesister

Like others have said I believe the drive for recovery needs to be an internal one.
I know it's hard to watch our loved ones fall apart tho.

I think Anna's suggestion of al anon is a good one. You'll find support and understanding there for you, as well as the experience of others who've been in similar situations.

We also have a Family and Friends section you may want to check out.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 10-10-2014, 09:02 AM
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She doesn't want to do anything about it

Unfortunately, if she doesn't want to do anything about it, all you can do is to not enable her (I assume you didn't bring wine to her office) and be there if and when she decides to seek help. I'm sure it's really painful for you to watch, I'm sorry.
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Old 10-10-2014, 10:44 AM
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To add to everyone else's suggestions, cut out all enabling of her drinking, you didn't say whether you brought that wine to her, but cutting out all that is a positive thing you can do!!

Welcome to the Forum!!
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Old 10-11-2014, 01:17 PM
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Thank you everyone! I'm still very frustrated about not being able to do anything but it was helpful getting your opinions and support...

I didn't bring her wine to the office and I try not to enable her habits, but I've never told her directly that I refuse to do it. I'm scared of how she might react. I usually say that I don't have any money or that there were no shops on the way; sometimes I won't come home for the night just to avoid buying her alcohol and cigarettes (we've been living together for the past two months but I'm moving out in a week).

I'm thinking about asking all of our close friends to stop enabling her behaviour as well, but as I said before, I'm scared of how she'll react, especially because she's depressed and has had suicidal tendencies in the past...
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