Forgiveness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 129
Forgiveness
Well, it's been 43 days since my dear wife passed. Just found out that the cause was acute alcohol poisoning... she had a blood alcohol of 0.468, in a 98lb frame. Feel free to pass the message to your alcoholics that you don't need other drugs, liver failure, falling down a flight of stairs to succumb to this disease... their liquid "friend" can do it all by itself.
The grieving continues, but so does the living. Interestingly, all of my anger, resentment, and frustration of the past 5 years has disappeared (except that directed towards alcoholism itself). For all the pain she caused us then, and now after passing, I forgive her- my emotions simply replaced by the love of my wife of 24 yrs, and reflections on all the good she brought to this world, and especially to the kids and myself. I miss her beyond words... still cry every day... but also find time to laugh with family and friends- she would have encouraged that.
As this site has helped me in so many ways over my brief time here, I still check in here from time to time, mainly to see how many of you are doing. And to offer occasional words of advice to those just starting this journey- I do find that healing.
I wish you all the best... hoping each and every one of your find the love, support, peace and happiness that you all so deserve.
Sincerely,
Woodman
The grieving continues, but so does the living. Interestingly, all of my anger, resentment, and frustration of the past 5 years has disappeared (except that directed towards alcoholism itself). For all the pain she caused us then, and now after passing, I forgive her- my emotions simply replaced by the love of my wife of 24 yrs, and reflections on all the good she brought to this world, and especially to the kids and myself. I miss her beyond words... still cry every day... but also find time to laugh with family and friends- she would have encouraged that.
As this site has helped me in so many ways over my brief time here, I still check in here from time to time, mainly to see how many of you are doing. And to offer occasional words of advice to those just starting this journey- I do find that healing.
I wish you all the best... hoping each and every one of your find the love, support, peace and happiness that you all so deserve.
Sincerely,
Woodman
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 129
Kids are OK, on the surface... hard to really know, though, how they are processing this. My daughter is away at college so that 's a challenge. But i am setting them both up with individual counseling, so at least they have someone to talk/vent to, if and when needed.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: OREGON
Posts: 228
Sending you prayers, and blessings as the healing begins. Be kind to yourself. I know that the days must be hard to face. Keep remembering your worth.
Often times I believe that this disease puts many masks on our loved ones... to protect themselves from the pain they simply can't face. I know they have choices and that is one of the things that we see in able to heal ourselves with the detachment from their behaviors. I know we didn't cause it, can't cure it, can't change it... we can only protect ourselves from those behaviors... that is our job to keep ourselves safe. Often times I think in that process, we sometimes forget that they are really hurting souls that have allowed this substance to be their outlet. I do think that they love. I do think they have strong emotions and love, but are so afraid of being hurt. I never want to forget that in my process of healing myself. We are all human and a lot of times we do things to protect our hearts in which really are damaging to us.
Knowing she loved you, she would want you and your family to heal. I am so sorry for your loss... keep healing.
Often times I believe that this disease puts many masks on our loved ones... to protect themselves from the pain they simply can't face. I know they have choices and that is one of the things that we see in able to heal ourselves with the detachment from their behaviors. I know we didn't cause it, can't cure it, can't change it... we can only protect ourselves from those behaviors... that is our job to keep ourselves safe. Often times I think in that process, we sometimes forget that they are really hurting souls that have allowed this substance to be their outlet. I do think that they love. I do think they have strong emotions and love, but are so afraid of being hurt. I never want to forget that in my process of healing myself. We are all human and a lot of times we do things to protect our hearts in which really are damaging to us.
Knowing she loved you, she would want you and your family to heal. I am so sorry for your loss... keep healing.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Oh Woodman, I am glad you are getting in some cheer. Resentment and anger are poison to the soul, I am so happy you know that.
It's good to hear from you. I hope you continue to walk the path of peace.
XXX
It's good to hear from you. I hope you continue to walk the path of peace.
XXX
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Woodman123....it is so good to hear from you. I often think about you and all that you and your family went through.
These early days are hard, I know. When my husband passed (from cancer)...I remember having waves of emotion, also.
I do know that the heart has tremendous powers of healing. You will always have the best of her with you.
thank you for coming to share with us...
sincerely,
dandylion
These early days are hard, I know. When my husband passed (from cancer)...I remember having waves of emotion, also.
I do know that the heart has tremendous powers of healing. You will always have the best of her with you.
thank you for coming to share with us...
sincerely,
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
My sister died of a massive overdose woodman. We did not have the greatest bond growing up but when she left this earth, I can't say I remember the horrible relationship we had, just the good times. It's as if she took all the crap with her and now it's gone and I'm just left with loving her even though we couldn't stand each other when she was here and the way she left us just really hurt our family. So I kinda know how you feel. It'll be 3 years in March that she's been gone and I can still hear her call me "Itch Bae"! 
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